


Fire Flower

by jiemae



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Self-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 14:53:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 54,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5252360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiemae/pseuds/jiemae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a death dyed with red, I was reborn. In recalled memories, I discovered a means for survival. [OC!Kushina]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One: Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Some things to keep in mind if you plan to read on:
> 
> 1) This story is planned to be drastically AU, it won't be so much at first but I'm building up to that. Another thing I'm building up is character development, please be aware of the fact that child!Kushina isn't the same as teenager!Kushina.
> 
> 2) This is merely posted for like-minded individuals, if there are things you don't like, move on because I can't please everyone!
> 
> 3) Its fine to leave criticism! But please phrase it kindly when you find them. Because you inevitably will.
> 
> 4) This story is the rewritten version, you can find the unedited first version on my profile as there will be some major changes that will occur. I decided to do this after bringing myself into a rut, so I needed to do something more to jumpstart it.
> 
> 5) I don't really consider this an SI, being as Kushina is largely opposite me but with her knowing a future, this does have the conventions of one.
> 
> 6) You can also read this where it was originally posted on FanFiction.net

**Edited &Posted: 9/30/15**

* * *

**Fire Flower**

* * *

_**1** _

* * *

One thing I don't think adults will ever understand is that kids are  _curious_  beings.

I happened to be a kid. I also happened to be a risk-taker, the sole child out of my group that ran headfirst into things with only the semblance of a plan and my curiosity to guide me. If I were a cat, I'd probably have died six times by now.

This would be my seventh death.

"Kushina, I don't think that's a good idea," Ichigo whispered behind me as I sidled up against the sliding door. Ignoring him and his unnecessary logic, I licked my finger and wedged a hole into the freshly replaced rice paper. I fought hard to keep the smug grin off of my face to appease Ichigo's mother hen-like attitude but failed by the time I giddily looked into the room.

"He's in there," I whispered back, awed by having confirmed the rumor that had been floating about. Watching the Hokage speak with my grandfather with smiles and laughter, there was an odd feeling that settled in.

Nervously, I pawed at a loose string on my plum colored kimono.

"Can you hear anything?" Kenma asked, voice obnoxiously loud as he bumped abruptly into my shoulder. I winced before scowling up at him, annoyed.

"Can you be any louder?" I rhetorically shot back in a hissing tone. Shaking my head in exasperation, I turned back to the hole and focused on what I could hear in the room. Eventually, I tuned out the sounds of Kenma and Ichigo breathing in my ear and finally caught onto an aspect of the dialogue exchanged.

"...find a replacement," the Hokage was saying and I blinked when a knot formed in my gut. Nothing of it pertains to me, really, yet it feels as if whatever he's talking about is quite serious. It was unsettling to see right after the tone of before. The smiles and laughs were gone—replaced with understanding nods and mourning looks.

"It's only inevitable that Mito-san will die soon."

I reeled back, knocking into Kenma and biting back a yelp when I heard the news. I shook my head fervently, surprised stiff that they could say such blasphemy in regards to what could considered to be  _true_  royalty of Uzushio. I felt my jaw set as I ignored my cousin's pestering questions, coming to rest my ear against the hole and expecting to hear more.

Instead, I fell inward, chin knocking against the wooden floor with a bang. I wheezed out a cry of pain before sitting up, rubbing at the sharp sting and fighting back the sudden mist that crowded at my eyelids.

"What are you three doing here?" It was our grandfather shouting this, looking at us in utter bewilderment as he stood at the door I had just ruined by jabbing a hole in it. It was new too, which would be regrettable if it didn't have to be replaced weekly.

Kenma pointed at me accusingly, the aforementioned boy crying out, "She talked us into it!"

"Hey, traitor!" I snapped back, wheeling on the redhead, "Snitches get stitches!"

"Kushina-chan," my grandfather started out with chidingly, frowning in a way that I knew meant business, "how much did you hear?"

I gulped, staring up at him with wide eyes and before I could think better on it I stuttered out, "N-Nothing, Grandfather."

"Oh? Who is this?" The Hokage asked, standing curiously behind my thin-faced predecessor. I instinctively cringed back in abject horror when it came crashing down on me, the fact that I had been caught.

Wailing out a quick apology, I shot up from my position on the floor and began to run away like any other fine ninja would do in a time of dire straits. There was no flashy smoke bomb to aid me, however.

I didn't make it far and this isn't because the head of my clan and the leader of an entire hidden village would stoop so low as to run after a silly panicked six year old. No. It's because, when I'm running away blindly, I tend to bump into things.

Terrible things.

First, it's a freaking table—which cues a bunch of garbled and subdued noises of pure agony—then it's the vase of flowers that fall down and crash over my tiny, slight feet. I slide back with unsubtle surprise, howling out more incomprehensible babble when I noted the way the shards of glass dug into my feet. Hissing and wincing all the while, I hopped around the hallway, whilst madly waving my hands around like the graceful dancer my mother wanted me to be. Haha, not.

I didn't even notice that someone was even there to look at me—that is, until, like the cherry on top, I fell into the arms of the stranger.

I looked up, breathless and flushing intensely, and can't help but think about the strange sort of eyes I was staring into right at that moment. Like two translucently shining moons, or two pristinely lavender colored plates, his eyes were cold and emotionless—the only clue to any of his inward thinking being the way his thin brows crinkled up in annoyance. A part of me had a hint of dislike towards these strange eyes—they made a tiny bit of my heart tremor with emotions I did not like to surface—but then I could also feel the power emanate from them, from  _him_.

A kekkei genkai? All the way over here in Uzushio?

We were open to strangers coming in and doing the usual stranger-like things, but I didn't think my clan was particularly keen on those with genetic advances that could threaten the secrets we held in our hands. Especially not during such tense times with outsiders.

For a few weeks now, hadn't I been told that the gates were closed for the time being?

I felt my body tighten with a firm realization—he must be traveling with the Kage, possibly being one of those clan heads in Konoha and such.

The heat went out of my face instantly as I paled; how scary.

It's a stiff moment of silence right then, me just hanging mutely in his arms while not really detecting the mood flitting about in the air aside from my knee-jerk reactions to any and all assumptions I could gather from the exchange. He looked older than me by at least fifteen years, definitely in his twenties like my parents, and with short brown hair paired with those strange lilac tinted eyes that held no pupils. He wore the official hitai-ate from Konoha and the flak jacket of what I could slowly recognize as the issued jounin garment. I blinked and then dumbly, just barely began to register the true depth of the situation in my head.

"Hi," I mindlessly felt myself say, inwardly wincing when it came out breathy and irritatingly high pitched.

He looked thoughtful—still annoyed—but like something was being mulled over at length in his head before he finally replied, "I'm looking for the Hokage, do you know where I can find him?"

I weakly pointed out at the direction I had come from, and just then registering the pain of my injury of moments before as the burn of it slowly crept back in, the initial numbness fading just as my shock did. I hissed inwardly when he shifted me away from his body and I was acutely aware of the way the stuck, still stuck, sunk in deeper—much to my immense disapprobation.

He looked down at my feet, shortly sighed, and then, like the stories my mother told me at bedtime, he lifted me up and walked us down the hall to the very scene I had just hysterically left.

"What the hell happened to you in the span of a single minute for you to come back like this?" Kenma asked, assuredly done with any and all of my crap as he threw up his hands in the air the moment his eyes laid on the dripping blood that seeped out from my wounds.

"I tripped," I deadpanned in a thin lie.

Ichigo snorted, "You're a terrible liar."

I made a face, before defensively stating, "S'not a bad thing."

"It isn't," the Hokage agreed, smiling at me before meeting my savior's gaze, "Hakuba-kun, we have found the replacement container."

I shivered, surprised by how cold those words sounded to my ears—a stark contrast from the warm smile on his face. I held my suspicions that beneath it was an expression that wasn't so nice to see. But I was probably reading into it—I had no idea what the words pertained to anyhow, so I wisely kept my trap shut.

"Are we taking them back with us?" Hakuba asked just as I shook off my bad feelings. They settled once more into the pit of my stomach.

The Hokage met my eyes, and I blinked in quiet bewilderment. He looked back to the shinobi and smiled again, that hollow smile, "It depends entirely on what their parent's decide and what the child wants to do."

I got the feeling I was missing something here, but I was a bit too preoccupied with the growing and persisting issue that was the pain in my feet. I wiggled them in the air to bring the attention back to my injuries, sorely hoping that I wouldn't have to speak up and garner even a worse reputation of being a troublemaker than I already had.

In my defense, most people in this village could probably stand to gain a similar humor to my own—but that would probably make our home boring, so I supposed I was fine with it.

"You need first aid," Ichigo said and I thanked the very heavens for getting to have a cousin like just like him—being the nicer of the twin boys anyhow. Of course, the rule following stick in the mud could probably benefit from a laxer outlook on life, but he was usually the one to read the vibes from me and act accordingly. Besides, he laughed at my jokes.

"Aisa, come here," my grandfather called out and seemingly out of nowhere, a soft faced girl appeared, wearing her Uzumaki trademarked red hair in a high ponytail, creating a stark contrast to her green eyes as a side fringe framed her face. She held just the type of beauty that had made our women so very popular, looking serene while at the same time containing that glint, that spark, of something unique and more. "My granddaughter requires medical attention," the clan head continued, eyeing me in what I could easily discern as disappointment.

"Yes, sir," she responded, kindly smiling at me comfortingly before taking my injured feet into her hands. "Just mere lacerations, it looks like. No vein has been ruptured by the looks of it so I should be able to get these healed up within a few minutes."

I winced, looking up at her with wide eyes, "Will it hurt?"

She gently laughed, shaking her head, "It won't hurt a bit."

I eyed the wound doubtfully but decided that I was already in enough pain to stand a little bit more if it turned out she was lying to me.

The only painful part, as it turns out, is the actual cleaning of the injuries as she collected the bloodied glass shards and disinfected the lacerations with something that burned like the way I could imagine a branding being like as it got poured onto my cuts. Then, like a breath of fresh hair, her hands began to glow and my feet were encased in a happily pain-free bliss that came shortly thereafter. In fact, it actually felt pretty good, almost like an ocean breeze on the shores close to my house.

"Much better," I commented blithely, cheekily smiling up at her.

"I'm glad," she murmured, pulling her magic hands away.

Right then, Hakuba just about dumps me on the floor, as I hastily landed on my feet, wincing when it felt grossly weird to be walking on the tender skin. I glared up at him, taking it personally. Some hero he was.

Huffing out a sigh, I addressed the group of boys dispassionately, sniffing softly before saying, "I'm going home. See you at school tomorrow, twins." With that, I smirked, knowing just how irritating it could be for them when they were grouped together like that. Not that I would understand a feeling like that.

Shrugging off Kenma's icy stare, I did just as I had said I would and headed on home to fill myself with my mother's fine home cooked meal.

* * *

**Discovery**

* * *

"Just focus," Jurata, the class teacher, said to me as sweat perspired on my brow. I panted but did as told, centering my thoughts solely on my chakra, willing the chains to take solid form. Jurata had been trying to get me to control where they sprouted ever since I'd been successful at forming them a couple of times. The only problem was that they would appear anywhere from the palm of my chubby hands to the small of my back. It was frustrating to say the least after I had been working on this task for around two weeks. Still no improvement.

Maybe I should change my outlook? Let's see... The chains formed when I focused my emotions, but even then the only thing that came out were mere strings, soft looking, as they didn't look very formidable. I had been told that this would change in time as my chakra system grew larger and sturdier. Still, what actually allowed me to even get that far as a six year old? Biting my lip, I forced my chakra to obey, centering my emotions in one place; my heart. Astonishingly enough, little wispy orange chakra chains sprouted out, moving in the air with a dancer's grace. Smiling I looked up to Jurata, "I did it! Yatta, 'ttebane!"

"It was a fluke!" Kenma called out accusingly and I sent a scathing glare his way. The boy was just jealous that he's been in this class a whole two years and still could only get as far as I could.

"Retract and try again," Jurata ordered calmly, waving a hand in Kenma's direction to calm him down. Determined to prove the eight year old's words otherwise, I sent my emotions, my chakra, scattering, promptly allowing my chains to disperse. Then, I gathered it all again, bringing it back with a small struggle before I came to succeed once again.

"In your face, brat!" I gloated with glee, smirking darkly in Kenma's direction. Jurata just merely sighed at the usual banter I regularly shared with the dolt, all the while my teacher patted me on the head with an exhausted smile.

"Good job, Kushina-chan."

I beamed at the praise and turned to Ichigo with a pleased smirk, "Did ya see? I got it down before you could, 'ttebane."

The redhead just rolled his pretty blue eyes before getting back to focusing on his leaf. It was a common practice that we used the leaf as a medium, to learn how to center and control our chakra. I myself had only had to use it briefly to discover how truly easy chakra was to move around. What was hard, however, was getting it to take solid form. In Ichigo's case, he didn't actually need to use the leaf by this point—he was the top of the class for a reason—but preferred having something to physically touch during his process of working on his techniques.

"Whatever," Kenma was obnoxiously saying when I finally tuned back into reality, "you're only a stupid six year old so it doesn't matter. Your chains are so small and weak that the only thing they can trap is a butterfly!"

My mind centered only on one part of his little rant and I turned animatedly to Jurata, who frowned at the scowling eight year old boy, "Ne, sensei! Can we go catch butterflies!?"

My teacher looked back to me, seeming to weigh the odds of my giving up—I had a pretty good track record of being stubborn—and promptly shrugged indifferently, "Possibly, if everyone agrees to." Then he paused, a spark coming to grow within those usually tired, grey eyes, "But how about we catch cicadas instead? It's the season for them, after all," Jurata gave a slight chuckle, somewhat looking even older than before, ancient even, in comparison to anyone I had ever met. I decidedly liked my teacher—he was like a kind old grandpa that sometimes brought treats and goodies to school to share with us.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'ttebane!" I excitedly shouted, taking the idea and running with it, already flitting around the room just as I went to each of the kids in the tiny classroom. Giving them my best puppy dog stare, I quietly begged for them to agree. Most complied, having already exhausted themselves from the training of today. Of course, a few wanted to opt out for fear of losing the practice, but they quickly gave in when I promised them homemade mochi the next day. Food really was the way into any Uzumaki's heart.

Really, in the end, the only one who stood as an obstacle—unsurprisingly—was the idiot Kenma.

"Ew, no," he kept on repeating when I diligently brought it up again, minutes having passed since he'd first given me the idea, "Cicadas are gross."

With a pout I shifted my deflated gaze to Ichigo, who narrowed his eyes. "Ichigooooooooo..." I called to him, closing the distance between us to clasps my hands together and stare up into his eyes.

"No." His voice was firm, but his feet shifted back in a way that told me clearly that I was unnerving him.

"Coooooome oooooon, Ichi-kun, do it." I pouted, looking up sadly, yet having my brows raised in quiet hope. He had always been the weakest to my powers as a manipulator, even as obvious as the tricks were.

"Ugh, you owe me, Kushina-chan," Ichigo muttered before puffing out his chest and straightening his back, "Kenma! We're going to catch cicadas with the class or I'll tell dad you've been bullying a six year old girl."

Horrified, Kenma looked to his twin brother, "You'd betray me for her?"

Ichigo's gaze softened before he nodded, face reflecting an emotion of regret and bravery, "I am but a fallen soldier made a pawn in her takeover of the world."

Just for effect, I gave a quick but hearty cackle, bringing my hands to my hips and lifting my lips into a dark smirk. Kenma's widened before he cried out, hopping forward to hug Ichigo tightly.

"I will never forget you, brother! I shall defeat this evil woman if it's the last thing I do!"

"Why beat us?" I asked smartly, "If you could join us?"

"That's right, brother, join me in our takeover of the world!" Ichigo powerfully suggested as lifted his arms in emphasis.

"O-okay! I'll do it for you! I'll catch cicadas for you!"

"Excellent! Minions!" I shouted in the classroom and ten faces, including Jurata, stared expectantly, "Today we fight our first battle for world domination against the fierce monsters known as the cicadas! May their annoying buzzing cease today!"

"Yeah!" Cheers erupted as Jurata helplessly smiled down at our antics. Pumped up, the eleven of us left the classroom and headed to the surrounding forests.

It might very well have just been them amusing a six year old child but in all actuality, I was pretty sure that the truth lied in the bonds of an Uzumaki. It was in unity that we thrived together, and we all seemed to sense one another's true intentions and feelings. It was probably why such a rowdy, loud crowd could cohabitate so naturally. It was especially strong in the shinobi faction of our village—together, we lived and died. After all, we knew each other's techniques in and out, as well as the shared weaknesses and strengths.

As a class, we quickly began enjoying ourselves in the greenery that surrounded us—most notably Kenma was grinning every single time I cared to glance over at him.

Time seemed to pass us over like a blanket over a sleeping child. Before I knew it, an entire hour had passes with us leaping from tree to tree as silently as possible and reaching our hands out to grasp the buzzing bugs into our hands. In fact, I'm sure we'd caught around sixty cicadas before Ichigo called everyone in to announce an individual match.

One with the most cicadas won their pick of the snacks that Jurata announced earlier that he would hand out.

Being the greedy, needy kids that we were, the game instantly picked up speed in its competitiveness.

"You're so on," I declared to him, grinning superiorly at him with my hands placed purposely on my hips. He smirked, seemingly pleased at having riled me up but I merely concentrated my emotions and thoughts, near my chest. As it turns out, I could easily control that whole emotion thing that granted me access to my chains. Albeit, it was pretty hard in and of itself to mentally move youy emotions to a specific body part but conjuring the chakra was simple.

Focusing on the heart helped a lot too.

I grinned at him when three, brightly orange chains sprouted their way out of my chest. They snaked out to reach a tree branch, and like that, I felt the slap of the wind against my face as I was sent into the air.

"Be prepared to lose then," Ichigo called out, blue eyes light with humor before chains were born at his hands.

"Yeah!" Kenma chimed in with, "He's no longer stuck under your stupid spell."

"That only makes the competition that much more entertaining," I replied with before speeding off into the forest, leaping from branch to branch with my laughter floating behind. With free hands, I used my sharp eyesight to reach out and pluck the cicadas into my hands before quickly placing them into the bug container.

Kenma followed closely after me, eyes narrowed while the twin boy kept a strict eye on me. It would be kind of cute if he wasn't so annoying, I think. Sometimes I liked Kenma—he could be funny, and even terribly sweet but he had some sort of weird vendetta against me that kept us distant.

I would never understand it.

"You can't control my brother anymore!" He shouted, tiny wisps of purple chains fluttering about him in what could even look like the wings of a butterfly. I breathed out a tiny gasp at how pretty they looked. After all, I had always liked how the colors of chains reflected the user's personality—they never looked identical to anybody else and its usage was highly individualized. My father's chains were a pretty, dark red, expressing a romantic mind and passionate emotions. My mother had yellow ones, the color that expressed a calm, loving,  _kind_  person. I had orange—something I had endlessly delighted when I discovered the fact. It was as if it was a balance between the two colors and it never failed to make me feel closer to my parents.

The love was so completely true.

"I wouldn't want to control that stupid butthead," I replied with childishly, regaining my composure before sticking my tongue out.

"Hey!" Ichigo's voice called from a little bit away, "The betrayal stings!"

I snickered.

If there was only one thing I liked about Ichigo, it was his willingness to go along with childish antics. He was also a great actor, so that was a plus, and he could go along with any of my improved acts.

"It didn't have to be this way!" I called back to him, my voice high pitched and thin over the distance between us, "It could have been different!"

"What did we do wrong?" Ichigo cried, quickly catching up to me.

"What is even happening!? What are you guys going on about?" Kenma's eyes were wide as he cried this out, almost desperately. I shrugged in his direction before hopping forward on my toes and leaping toward the next nearest tree. After having climbed up the tree to reach higher ground, I scanned my surroundings for cicadas, my ears tuned for their buzzing.

Kenma could stand to be less of an idiot, I decided.

"I'm going to beat you if it's the last thing I do!" Kenma suddenly announced, climbing up a different tree as he met my gaze. Those beautiful purple chains were poised to attack.

I openly laughed as I victoriously latched onto cicada, placing the big guy into the wooden containers that Jurata-sensei had passed out.  _This is just temporary_ , I thought to the bug, imagining how scary it would be to be stuck in there, especially with strangers.

With that pause, I continued to evade Kenma, all the while collecting every cicada I came into contact with.

Distantly I could hear Kenma's grunts and inwardly chuckled. He was hopeless at this.

All in all, it had been fun despite the outcome that met us. Ichigo had won with his whopping thirty-four cicadas. But that could have been because I had to stop after I reached fifteen. I just couldn't fathom leaving the cute little cicada to be squished in such a tiny box.

Kenma got fourteen, just barely losing to me. I couldn't help but think he could have done a lot better if he'd only just do his own thing instead of chasing after me. However, he earned his twin's praise and that seemed to ease his disappointment.

"See, he likes me more than you," Kenma had been saying as we packed up to head home, goodies in hand after having dispersed all the cicadas into the forest to reunite with their homes.

I shrugged, nibbling on the gooey green tea mochi, as I headed to the door of our class. "You guys  _are_  brothers, idiot. Of course he'd like you more," I told him, voice matter of fact as I waited at the front expectantly.

"That's right," Ichigo agreed, smiling warmly at his brother as he brought an arm over Kenma's shoulder, "You're my precious brother. But Kushina is our cousin, so we need to appreciate her too."

"But she's annoying," Kenma whined, frowning.

I bit roughly into my next mochi, attempting to hide the sudden aggression that weld up in my chest. My shoulders felt significantly heavier and I gave into the slump before fiercely glaring at the flowers we passed by.

"Kushina," Ichigo started, and I was unsure of whether he was calling to be specifically as he continued, "is many things but I wouldn't use that word to describe her, brother."

The younger boy immediately frowned, "What would? She's so weird..."

I sighed as soon as I realized I was out of things to angrily eat, and it was getting remarkably harder not to say anything back. My pace quickened without me realizing it, and right then I decided not to care. Because really, Kenma had never liked me in the first place and I was getting tired of trying.

I skipped on ahead, coming off of a sloping hill that led right into the heart of the village. It was easy to get lost here, I've done it many times actually. But it was noticeably less packed in these days.

Usually you could see people from outside visiting, and we usually had some of the other clans on the outlying islands around us come. It was generally weird to see the streets so empty, in comparison. Nowadays we were far more secluded than anything else.

I bit my lip, hand going to my stomach as I felt the unease there most of all. Although it could have been from eating too fast, if I was being honest.

Nevertheless, I hurriedly set off to crash into my usual get away.

"Mika-san!"I cried out, racing into her shop, grin taking form on my face.

Probably my favorite person in the whole world, by this point—aside from my mom and dad—Mika was the one that always made herself available to me, no matter the time of day or how busy she was with customers. Be as it was, she was also someone who could see through me easily as if I were just some sort of mirror, always knowing whenever I probably needed more sweets to eat than the boys. It didn't hurt that Mika's treats were the epitome of delicious—almost like she had magic hands.

Mika lived close to all three of us, on the northern part of the shopping district. Her shop was probably one of the older ones in the place, having been passed down for generations, especially since the start of the village but it was never a dull moment there. Even today, it was a popular place to visit and was always pretty busy.

I've known her my entire life, thanks to her being my mom's best friend and it had gotten to the point that I liked to think of her as a big, much older, sister.

"Oh, hi there, Ku-chan," Arisa started, meeting my gaze after handing a paper back filled with goodies to a blushing man.

I halted, eyes sweeping the shop before I scuttled up to the wooden counter, eyes big while I met the gaze of Arisa, Mika's daughter. The pretty redhead smiled, her gold eyes crinkling just a tiny bit as she gave me a bright smile. As it was, Arisa was sixteen and the talk of the town. Being a descendent of the main family, Arisa had both the heritage and beauty that was rare to find in Uzushio. While the vast majority of Uzumaki women were known for their seductive prowess, it took special features to set one above the others. With her oval face, perfectly pink lips, and those alluring eyes of hers, Arisa was constantly battling off suitors—she wanted to travel.

I didn't understand it myself, but I liked when Arisa was happy, her smile was especially breathtaking. Kind of like a flower in a way.

I'd been told by my grandpa that Arisa took after Mito somehow but I knew for a fact that they weren't related very closely. Mito was from a side branch, after all, and not from the main.

"Hello, Arisa-san," I murmured politely before I reached a hand up to pat her open palm. It was an odd habit I randomly picked up while meeting new people. If I liked someone I had to touch their hand, like showing affection.

"Looking for Mom?" Arisa asked as she patted my head, her smile growing in size.

"I—."

"We're here to!" Kenma shouted out, hopping forward ecstatically into shop as his eyes instantly shot to look at Arisa with adoring eyes. The kid liked anything that fed him, I swear.

I glared at Kenma, before bringing my gaze back to Arisa, "Where is Mika-san?"

Arisa pointed to the back doors, an unknown land to mostly everyone else but close relatives and friends—the kitchen.

Secret recipes lay behind that door.

"Can I go get her?" I asked innocently, even if I felt my ulterior motives showing. Her golden eyes lit up in response, probably able to read me like a book—they often did.

"No way!" Kenma whined, "You're not allowed back there anymore than we are."

Arisa gave a laugh, "Actually, Ma-kun, Ku-chan  _is_  allowed. She asked Mom yesterday about becoming an apprentice and I think Mom is pretty sold on the idea already."

My jaw went slack as I stared up dumbly. Then, in a barely audible tone, I quietly endeavored to know, "Really?"

"Well, why don't you go ask her yourself?" Arisa replied with and I found myself ducking underneath the wooden counter to get into the back.

"Mika-san?" I called out upon entering the back room, nearly knocking into a stack of boxes as I deftly dodged their presence.

"Over here!" Mika responded and I saw her then, just a little bit away, with her dark, blood red hair tied up into a tight ponytail.

It has always astounded me how long her hair could get—very unlike my mother's shortly, chin length locks. They looked rather similar, in all honesty, as they shared soft features, and tiny delicate noses. Mika's eyes were a bit more hazel, but even they sometimes could look like a deeply vibrant violet if the lighting let it happen.

I only hoped to get even a fraction of their beauty—but honestly I could sort of see how much I was taking after my dad. With a bigger, stubbier nose, and my large rounded cheeks, I looked more like a boy.

Mika grinned as she turned to see me, holding up flour covered hands. I didn't care much about the mess as I went in to wrap my arms around her legs and let her warmth take away all of the aches and pains of the day. I couldn't wait until I was older and could actually hug her full on. Her hands went to touch my hair and with a graceful laugh she apologized, "I may have gotten a mess in your hair."

I grinned up at her happily, "I don't mind."

"Oh, you don't, do you?" She poked my nose and I could already feel the flour coating it.

"Yup," I replied with as I let out a childish laugh while scrunching up my nose expertly.

"Was today a good day?" Mika asked and I nodded, ecstatically bouncing as I unwrapped my arms to give emphasis on my story.

"We caught a  _whole_  bunch of cicadas—and then set them free because it's bad to harm living things. That's what I think at least. Ichi-kun and Ma-kun didn't seem to think so but I think harm should only be done when necessary, right? Do you agree with me?" I stared up at her curiously and with a laugh, Mika lifted me up, balancing my small frame on her hip as she flicked me on the nose one last time.

I giggled, before sobering up and looking to her earnestly, "Arisa said that you're going to accept me as your apprentice, is that true?"

Mika smiled, "Yup, as soon as you're old enough."

My joy soared up so high into the air as she said that first word, but then it plummeted promptly at what her later phrase implied.

"But when is that?" I asked, frowning, "I turn seven soon!"

Mika thought about it for a quick second but remained silent as pulled the conversation back to my questions of earlier as we headed back out to the others.

"I do agree with you, Kushina-chan. Boys are just mean that way, aren't they? They're all brute and no thought."

With an internal sigh, I let myself be taken into the flow of dialogue.

"Yup!"

I wasn't the type to believe in gender rules but in this case, it was mostly true. Ichigo and Kenma were usually more about fighting than thinking things out. Ichigo was less of an offender but Kenma never seemed to have any moral dilemmas. But then, that might have been from the conditioning they put us through, even at young ages.

"Hello Mika-san," Ichigo and Kenma chorused the moment they saw her.

"Good afternoon, boys. What type of treat do you want for today?"

Kenma's eyes narrowed at me and I growled. He was such a little thorn in my side and most days I kind of wished he would just realize there was no battle to fight with me. Although, it might have been my fault that he thought that way.

See, my friendship with Ichigo started unlike many others. As he is my cousin, his mother being my aunt, Kenma and he came by my house often when my mother was the only one available to look after them. As I was just a baby, they never spent much time with me personally. That is, until my mother bragged about me being smart enough to already read, when I was like, two. This caught their attention, specifically Ichigo's as he was fascinated with children. Out of the two of them, he played with me the most. And I guess, Kenma, being a tiny, still maturing toddler, did not take to the idea of sharing his brother well.

Oh well.

"Just cookies," Kenma said bitterly, frown evident on his face, lips upturned as he looked at anywhere but me. I told myself that I didn't care that he didn't like me because I didn't care about him but in all honesty, I kind of wanted to be friends—he was my cousin after all and I actually liked the Kenma that interacted with Ichigo; he was cute.

Thus it was kind of a pain for him to act so vehemently negative to me.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to react with positivity. I could be just as mean as he was.

Before my inner frown could show, I grinned, pointing to the floor to be let down. Mika easily complied and as soon as my feet were touching, I shouted, "One of everything, please!"

Mika eyed me doubtfully, "I'll just get you the same as usual then."

"Please do," Ichigo told her, eyes on me as he said it, "I'm not a fan of a hyper Kushina."

"Yeah," Kenma agreed, "She's even more annoying than usual."

I shrugged. It was kind of true.

"I'll get you the same then, Ichi-chan." Mika was the only one who could call him that and get away with it. Even I hadn't tried. Because Ichigo was kind of known to be peculiar about the way each person treated him.

He smiled and nodded, cheeks turning red in response to Mika's presence.

There was still a lot I didn't know about what went on when I had yet to be born but there had been an incident with ninja from a hidden village far away from here. Apparently Ichigo had been kidnapped, supposedly because he was the clan head's grandson—I wasn't too clear on details—and in the end Mika had been the one to save him. Ever since then, Ichigo expressed complete adoration for the older woman, even when she dropped out of Uzushio's ranks as an active kunoichi.

It was the sort of thing that always reminded me how amazing the people around me was.

Mika ruffled my hair before reaching out a hand to wipe at Ichigo's cheek

With that, our orders were made and given and not much longer after that, the three of us were kicked out and ordered to go home. On the way there, we were pretty quiet, keeping our filled bags close to our chest. Double snacks in the day were nice, but I wanted to save my treasures for after dinner—Mom didn't usually make dessert after all.

The sun was still brightly shining, the waves of heat beat down undeterred as not a cloud graced the sky. However, the wind had taken a pause in its usual torment with our tiny village, leaving us with only the songs of birds and the chatter of villagers around us.

The mood turned bland, solemn, and I looked around, startled by the change.

"I think we're going to have to leave here soon," Ichigo suddenly came out with and all three of us paused.

My heart sank.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, halting in the pathway that was clear of others.

"I overheard dad talking with our grandfather," he murmured, eyes turning dark, "Apparently the attacks have been getting too frequent these days. We've been having to borrow a lot of Konoha's forces, but their looking for something in return."

"What is it?" I asked, frowning, "They're our allies, 'ttebane! They should be helping anyway, considering we share so much of our fuinjutsu with them."

"I don't know," Ichigo rubbed the bridge of his nose, "It's a person they want, I think, but Grandfather is hesitant about it and so Konoha isn't helping as much as they should be. But apparently the enemy is getting closer to the village and Dad mentioned the clan moving to Konohagakure until everything was clear."

"What, 'ttedate!?" Kenma burst out with and I felt similarly. Anybody who grew up on the island, save for a few exceptions, loved it unconditionally. It was our home, our treasure. This sunlighted island, with its overabundance of wildlife and greenery, was  _ours_. It was a feeling of ownership that ran deep within all Uzumaki.

I fought against the onset of tears that misted near my eyelids, shaking my head in denial at the fact.

"I feel the same, Ken," Ichigo murmured, "But if it keeps us safe, maybe we can come back in a couple—."

"But we're strong, right? We can take them, can't we?" Kenma said, tone insistent.

"I don't know," Ichigo murmured, eyes dark and hopeless.

I didn't say another word as we began to solemnly walk on.

* * *

**Discovery**

* * *

"Yah! Dattebane!" I roared fiercely, hopping up excitedly as I pumped my fists into the air. "I did it! It worked!"

"Careful!" Mom called out just as I almost stepped on the seal I'd painstakingly made just mere moments ago. "You wired it with chakra, sweetie. You might just accidently seal yourself in whatever void you've just created." Then, she sucked in a breath, placing a fist to her mouth as she flinched.

I halted in my excitement, curiosity being piqued by her sudden reveal, "Void? What's that?"

She looked troubled, trying for a smile while she pawed at her bangs. Then, as I continued to stare, Mom gave in with a sigh, "You're supposed to learn this with your class—that was the deal with your father—but I know you won't let this go...so how about we keep it a secret just between us?"

I cocked my head to the side in confusion before nodding empathetically, "I won't tell Daddy."

"Well, I'm sure you've been wondering how seals work fully in the first place, aren't you? You know by now that you need chakra to charge it with enough energy to be activated, and you know the importance of clean seal work, right?" I nodded, and she grinned, brushing her bangs behind her ear before leaning in to whisper in my ear, "Voids are our creations."

I leaned back, eyes wide, "Explain."

"Well, when we make our seals, each stroke has a meaning and a message to convey—like directions to the store almost! Without the ink, the item we seal will not know where to go, so we direct it within the bounds we have been given."

"Bounds?"

"Each person in the world, Kushina, has things in their body that we like to call Vacuums, it's a place that is devoid of matter or anything. They are vast, and are constantly growing—a lot of the time chakra even escapes there, if the person is spiritually imbalanced. After all, it takes a partnership of both physical and spiritual chakra to even locate and target Vacuums, and this is something we Uzumaki have grown to do unconsciously. In fact, we've mastered the art of reaching into these places and giving ourselves access to them. Like special passcodes, we use our seals to target where to send the matter, and can easily transfer things from them. Like, for instance, when we go on our picnics!"

"What about them?" I asked, fascinated, thoughts racing with all of this new information.

"Well, your father doesn't like to pack heavy—for mobility purposes—so instead we carry things in scrolls. Now, this is where the voids come into play." Mom smiled, ruffling my red hair before continuing, "Although we living beings have Vacuums to store things in, nonliving things do not. With our chakra, we create and open the voids so that they may be used. It is what sets a normal piece of paper from a scroll used for sealing."

"Wait, so then we could seal things into practically anything," I mumbled, "but then...why is it that we don't practice sealing things into ourselves?"

Mom winced noticeably, before her eyes turned dark, "We...do. But I don't want you even dabbling in that, okay? It is a disgrace to our Vacuums to use them in such a manner."

She spoke so matter of fact, so sure in her resolute beliefs. I had no choice but to nod in obedience.

Still, I secretly wondered how a seal would look on someone's skin.

* * *

**Discovery**

* * *

It was the second time I saw the Hokage that my head started to feel both fuzzy and well... _hurt._

I had been innocently walking the halls of the temple I'd been sent to for the sake of running errands, doing just as my mother had told me to do. She always mentioned how important it was to pay homage to the Sage, and often sent me to lay a basket of fresh fruit at the feet of wooden statue that I assumed was supposed to be the look-alike of the Sage.

Mom was usually too busy to do it herself, being usually swamped with seal requests after being named one of the thirteen elite sealmasters. I don't know how she ranked in that bracket, but I always knew my mother was infinitely better than even Jurata—although she never bragged.

However, she often made it to the once a month rituals that the temple held, bringing me along with her on the trips.

By now, I knew most of where everything was and locating the statue on my own was of no issue anymore after having made this trip so many times.

Humming a smart tune, I hopped through the wooden halls before turning to the left to enter the wide, expansive room that contained the wooden Sage effigy.

I nearly reeled back when I saw the Hokage, having expected him to be gone by this point in time to return to Konoha. After all, didn't he have to be there to organize stuff? That's the sort of excuse my grandfather always made when we invited him to things, so I always had assumed that the jobs were sort of similar.

Lost in my questioning thoughts, I didn't notice it when he turned to find me standing at the entrance. He smiled at me, waving me forward just as I returned back to a clear reality.

Hesitantly, I stumbled closer to the man of power and blinked up at him when he laid a hand on the top of my head. I resisted the urge to jump in surprise at the sudden contact. Something felt off at that moment, and a vague image flashed behind my eyes.

Some blonde boy joking with the Hokage.

Weird.

"Hello there, Kushina-kun."

I flushed at the fact that he knew my name as I brushed off the oddness of just moments before. In response, I whispered out a soft, timid, "Hi, Hokage-sama."

"What brings you here?" he asked and I lifted my basket higher for him to see the contents. "Ah."

"It's an offering," I explained, as I were speaking to an outsider, "we give him these gifts, as a thank you for all that he did in his life."

The Hokage smiled, patting my head once more before asking, "And what is it exactly that he did?"

I squinted up at him, unsure if he was just testing me or not, but sighed and give in, "He was the one that defeated the Juubi before splitting them up into nine entities. He saved the world from destruction, and did some other stuff too." I scratched at my nose self-consciously, somehow unsure of all the information I was telling him. "Right?"

 _Dattebayo! My name is_ —.

He lifted his brows, and beneath that big hat of his, he looked far kinder than what my first impression of him had been, "Correct. It's thanks to him that today we even have the Jinchuuriki that keeps the power between all the shinobi nations balanced. I myself have reason enough to thank him, I suppose."

I eyed his empty hands dubiously, "Okay. Um, well, uh," I palmed an apple, swallowing nervously before I held it up to him, "you've come unprepared so I'll give this to you so that you can thank him, okay? Uh, I gotta go now though, Hokage-sama! I have to deliver letters to Grandfather."

He took the fruit, seeming to dumbly stare at it, and slid his eyes to look at me with an expression of confusion.

 _Dattebayo! My name is_ —.

I pawed at my bangs self-consciously before setting the basket at the Sage's feet, "Like that, you just set it down, bow, and leave."

For show, I even did the full ninety degree bow before waving goodbye to him as I hurriedly skipped out of the room.

I just didn't like how I could hear weird words around him, I guess.

Either way, my head just wouldn't stop pounding.

* * *

**Discovery**

* * *

That night it was oddly hard to settle down in bed, even with the comforting lull of my mother's singing voice and a cup of steaming unsugared black tea. I pinpointed the the cause almost instantly when she asked about my health and shoved all my accusations onto the building pressure in my head. It had actually been manageable before the nighttime struck, having been just a hint of pressure at my eyes.

But here I was, clutching at my skull tightly as if to keep it from exploding. I breathed through my nose as calmly as I possibly could. By this point, as a matter of fact, the aching pain had already stretched its way to encompass my entire brain and translated roughly into "I am not pleased with this at all".

"Did you eat something bad?" Mom asked, bringing her hand to my forehead and brushing back my side fringe in a way that made me attempt to be calm. I was failing miserably in the face of burgeoning confusion and agony.

I shook my head in response to her question, "Unless you consider a piece of mochi from Mika-san's shop, your handmaid bento, and tonight's dinner bad, then no."

She tutted, frowning visibly before attempting to soothe me with a teasing smile, "Maybe you need to lay off of Mika-chan's sweets."

A tiny gasp of horror resounded in the air. Joking or not, it's always a serious topic when it's involving my sweetly fluffed after school snacks.

Mom just chuckled in response to my reaction at her horrid jest before leaning in to kiss my forehead while murmuring softly, "I'll call in to inform them that you're sick in the morning if this sort of thing persists. Can you sleep on your own tonight, sweet lily?"

My heart instantly warmed at her use of the petname, something similar to the one her own father used for her except with a different flower. Unlike her, however, there isn't any story behind how lilies got connoted with myself. I just find them pretty.

I nodded in answer to her question, "Yeah, it doesn't really hurt like a headache, it just feels...uh, like congestion in my head. It's hard to think with all these thoughts in my head."

 _Dattebayo! My name is Na_ —.

She nodded, looking sympathetic and worried, before kissing me once more before standing up to leave, "I'll be back to check on you soon, okay, sweet lily?"

I waved her off as I attempted to relax into the soft futon I could usually fall asleep instantly on.

I closed my eyes desperately, but quickly opened them when weird images floated to the surface.

 _Naruto. Na_ —Naruto?

Uneasily, I called out, "Mom?"

Oh—Oh.

What  _was_  that?

I was shaking, gasping for air as the mere sight of it—red, red,  _red_ —and felt a chill flow down my spine at the sound of a baby crying—death, death,  _death_ —in the arms of a woman with fading violet eyes.

"Kushina?" Mom questioned, coming back into the room with worry clear in her voice.

_Snap._

My name— _my_ name—is…

 _Something_  in me breaks within and it felt wrong, misplaced, to be regarded by that title. It's as if I related myself to someone else instead of the six years I had spent as Kushina Uzumaki. But that feels wrong, a mistake.

What's happening?

I sucked in a breath of air, and it hit my throat with a slight sting. I blinked, finding that there was dots in my vision and I couldn't seem to get a good breath in. Nonetheless, I continued to try to fill my lungs, fighting desperately to ignore the new images that crossed my eyes.

_Obito. Kakashi. Rin._

_Mi—Minato._

My head pounds rhythmically with my heart, and I don't feel reality anymore. I attempt to feel my futon, but instead there's just… _nothing_.

All I have is the pounding.

 _Do-ki, do-ki, do-ki..._ it goes on.

I released a sort of anguishing cry, aching for air and to understand just  _why in the world my head feels like it's going to explode_.

"Kushina!" Mom shouted out in surprise but I'm even more shocked to find that I can't quite seem to think of her in the same way anymore.

"Wrong, wrong, wrong," I began to chant, sobbing hysterically by that point in time, watching as the intensity of the images in my eyes grew and a story is told. I shake my head, refusing to believe what I could see and what I'm now beginning to know. "No, no, no, no!"

It's then that Dad is bursting into the room, face expressing raw panic and haste as he comes forward to scoop me up into his arms. "Kushina?" He's asked, attempting to reign me out of my warring state of mind.

"I don't want to know, take it back," I heard myself say, drowning in the tears, my voice run hoarse in sound. Still, it just felt so, so, so  _bad_. I wanted to reject the images completely, I wanted to disregard what they meant and what was beginning to flood my consciousness.

It was too sudden, too alarmingly real when it all started to make sense.

"We need to take her to the hospital," My father murmured against my ear, looking at my mother but it all—.

* * *

**Discovery – End**


	2. Chapter Two: Fictional World

**Edited &Posted: 11/** **09** **/15**

* * *

**Fire Flower**

* * *

_**2** _

* * *

—hurt so much.

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

It echoed unchecked in my skull as I held onto my head desperately in fear of what exactly was going on.

"Mom?" I called, eyes still clenched tightly shut and felt my heart pinch at calling her that. I mean, I  _knew_  that she was the same person I had loved for years but how could it be that I…was just an imposter?

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

But what was my name?

Out of all I was being smacked around with, I couldn't recall it even in the slightest.

Kushina felt wrong, but it felt so desperately imbued in my soul that I could not be anything but.

_Dattebayo! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!_

_Oh, shut up! SHUT UP!_

"Mom?" I called out again, this time my voice sounding surer with the panic that began to set itself into my very bones.

There was silence in the real world, but my head rang with sounds I wished I could have said were fake.

Bone-chilling shrieks, moaning gasps for air, the sound of flesh being sliced apart…

"Take it back," I moaned out quietly, as the dawning horror settled over me the moment I opened my eyes to a new day.

 _It can't be removed_.

"No, no, no," I whispered out softly, my voice cracking in the thin air as I was quickly wracked with sobs. " _Mommy, Daddy, please_."

It felt like daggers entering my heart when I recognized those foreign—albeit mispronounced—words.

English.

With a vehemence I didn't know I had in me, I rejected it as if it were possibly the vilest thing in the world.

"No," I sobbed out but the dawning realization settled over my now still body.

I did not belong in this world, and something seriously bad was coming my way.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

Adjusting to the new ideas was difficult as there were odd patches of my memory that had been lost to me, and the majority of what I could recall was merely the future occurrences I would be met with in the approaching future.

Things like what my old life had been like were lost to me, other than a few memories. Stuff like what my hobbies had been—cooking and singing—preserved while things like my old face had been dismissed from recollection like wind passing over ash.

I viewed the world in a different way than before, I was certain of this.

Before, I had merely been going through life as it were a given—as if I belonged. But these memories told a vastly different story, and it was because of this that I felt the pressures of an old world's morals infiltrate.

I was a body stealer, having been caught unaware of the fact as I wore  _her_  skin and felt the warm embrace of  _her_  parents. It was a bitter feeling, knowing that I had lived before and had unfairly stolen another person's chances—never mind the ending that the original Kushina had been met with. Still, I stole this life of hers without even meaning to. What kind of…what kind of life could I live now?

With these memories came a disorienting view of everything. The standards of living, the type of community, and the sort of dreams I could have ever formed for myself. Nothing was the same anymore, and the ones I loved could probably get that sense.

Heck, they could probably see the change just in the way my eyes looked.

Once, I had looked into bright, giddy violet eyes that had only been matched with the largest of grins. Now, all I could see is a shade over them—like a few of the lights had gone out inside.

With a deep sigh, I looked at my hands, noting how small they were in size, how rough they had become over time. These weren't mine, but they were. I had been the one to use them for the past six years after all. I had been the one who went through training, the one who had memorized seal after seal in hopes of matching my mother's strength.

I had lived years here. I had formed attachments. I had never been anything but myself in this land.

Yet why did I feel so…so  _guilty._

My dream to own a shop, something the prior Kushina would never even think of. Something I would have to either forget about now, as I followed the given storyline, or prioritize the wish of mine in a way that left the world irrevocably changed.

I wanted to cry—to scream with a passionate rage.

This was  _me._

 _I exist_.

It was then that I fully began to grasp the tender idea.

My new life was not my own, but a fictional character's who had loved and been loved before dying for it.

With clenched fists, I jumped from my bed for the first time in hours, having spent the time simply staring at the ceiling. I hadn't been to school in nearly a full week, but a part of me couldn't well up enough energy to care.

After all, it was ultimately meaningless. The time I spent here would only just be a painful memory soon.

I felt something wet my cheeks, before I realized I was beginning to cry. My body had given in for me, it seemed. I did nothing to hide the fact, as I opened the sliding door to my room and promptly made my way down the hall in order to find the door to the garden.

I ignored the beauty of the natural world when I entered it, immediately coming to lay myself down on the evergreen grass before twisting my torso to face the pretty flowers.

The sun blinked through the giant trees that made for a sort of gate around the backyard, the warm coming down to caress my naked legs and arms. My hair felt greasy, but the fresh air made me feel cleaner than I had before, with notably clearer thoughts.

"What am I going to do?" I asked out loud, eyes narrowing as I looked at the dancing tree leaves. With not a care in the world, they moved. Swaying back and forth with the breeze of a thoughtless wind. I lifted my cream colored arm up, envisioning something with a darker tone instead, as I let it flow with the nonexistent music. "What  _can_  I do?"

Obviously I had to make a decision soon.

Mostly because I was probably going to leave here soon. Or, I would watch my new family die right in front of my eyes before somehow making my great escape. Whatever did happen to Uzushio anyway? I couldn't remember the details, and the only guess I could gander would be a mixture of civilian unrest and the invasion from the other shinobi villages. But what could I even do to stop it? I was only six, and to add to it, I was powerless.

Lips pursing, and tears forming in thick waves at the edge of my eyes, I felt it truly then.

Fear.

Trembling, while feeling both my heartbeat and breath quicken, I rubbed my face into the grass.

I just wanted out.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

"Mommy," I called out once the stress had gotten too much. Just fresh out of a bath, I had been alone too long with my thoughts.

"Yes, sweet lily?" Mom turned around, a confident smile on her face even as I saw the tension on her shoulders. She'd been worried, I knew.

Heart heavy, I sniffed, taking comfort in the pet name I had been given before finding that I was rushing at her. My arms wrapped tightly around her legs, my cheeks pressing into them as I wished so desperately that I was taller, older, powerful.

"M-Mommy," I stuttered out, suddenly heaving with the sorrow and guilt that filled my bones. Terror painted itself across my thoughts and feelings.

"Sweet lily, what is it?" My mother, one of the strongest fuinjutsu masters in the entire clan, picked me up into her arms, and I freely let my arms go around the back of her neck. Face ducking into the crook of it, I shook.

"I'm scared."

"Kushina," Mom's voice was soft, but an underlying steel tone found its way in as she continued, "what are you afraid of?"

"I think you might not believe me if I told you," I answered honestly, painfully tempted to tell her everything I knew. But I could only hold back.

Because I was also afraid that if anyone knew that I wasn't the real Kushina, then they would come to hate me.

Mom was silent for a brief moment as she smoothed over my long, moist locks, fingertips coming in to brush over my wet cheeks. "Sweet lily, I want you to know that no matter what it's about, you can always tell me things. Okay? I will always stand by  _you_."

Brows lowering as my lips turned up, I nodded into her shoulder before softly whispering out, "I had these dreams, Mommy. Where I left to Konoha because I needed to and everyone back here died. I know dreams are dreams, and they don't happen in real life, but it's not only that, I think it's actually going to happen because Ichigo overhead Grandpa talking about the other shinobi villages."

Her hold on me tightened considerably as I went on.

Then, I could distinctly hear her swallow, before she murmured out softly, "Kushina? I can promise you,  _promise_  you. I will not be dying, and neither will anyone else in our clan. So, sweet lily, I want you to tell me everything about what Ichigo told you."

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

Satsuki was fuming by the time she reached her father's resting chambers, seething at the prospect of her daughter knowing such things. Her precious child…it hurt to even recall the words. For her little girl to worry about such things...

Not while she was around.

" _Ichigo overheard you_ ," Satsuki hissed out, slamming the sliding door open while feeling a sense of satisfaction when it splintered under her strength. Her father looked up, jaw going wide before he rubbed at his blurry, tired eyes. He looked overworked, and she could only imagine why. "You're going to tell me everything, you hear me!? No more  _fucking_  around."

"Suki, I was going to tell you—."

Her fist clenched up tightly when he called her in such a way, being his obvious attempt to calm her down, "No, you weren't! You never tell me anything, you're so misguided in thinking that I'm just that weak little girl who couldn't hold her own in a fight!" Satsuki wasn't thinking very clearly at this point, seeing a tinge of red dye her perspective as she felt her fingernails bite into her soft flesh. "Father, tell me now so that…so that I may  _help_."

Kenshiro's expression hardened considerably, looking both tired beyond comprehension and colder than ice on the tip of a mountain range. Stroking at his silver-haired beard, his crisp weathered eyes turned to look into his daughter's before narrowing harshly.

"You are in no place to help me, Satsuki. You have Kushina to look after in the end. You know why."

Pursing her lips, Satsuki felt her temper cool as if a switch had been turned off in her. She felt the energy in her body escape her grasp before coming to kneel on the ground, "I have to do something to protect this island. Father, we can't give up even when cornered—that would be against our code, or vows…"

"I've had some of our men scout out ahead to see the condition, and since the Hokage has left our presence, it's much like sharks circling. Apparently their ready for the moment our seals malfunction, and knowing how much chakra it is consuming, it will be inevitable when it happens. We'll have nowhere to escape, outnumbered at least five to every one of our able bodied fighters."

Satsuki sighed, rubbing at her cheeks and feeling the stress climb over her shoulders to embed itself in her already tense muscles, "Too bad we don't have some sort of hidden secret underground dwelling to rely on times like this."

Kenshiro blinked at her words, "Wait a minute…"

"What?" Satsuki asked, looking to her father with droopy, tired eyes.

His eyes were brighter than a child at Mika's sweet shop, wider than she had seen them go in such a very long time, "I don't know if it would work, but what if we actually made one? Then, we can seal away the entrance so that no one but us may enter."

Satsuki titled her head to the side, eyes sharp and calculating in that moment, "We have plenty of land mass for it, and as long as we're careful with supports and long-term preparation then it may actually work."

"Yes, but," Kenshiro looked suddenly bitter, stark contrast to his previous expression, "I did receive some disturbing news yesterday. Something we will have to take into consideration  _heavily_."

"What could it possibly be?" Satsuki asked, utterly impatient at this point in the conversation. She didn't have the energy to wait.

"We have a traitor among us."

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

Coming back to school after two weeks was weird and disorienting.

I strongly disliked the attention for one thing—they seemed to think I had caught some sort of incurable disease or perhaps had thought I'd gone nuts by rumors alone. Either way, I stepped into the room with a completely new perspective on my classmates. Particularly my cousins, as it was clear to see their evident worry on their face and obvious relief.

Ichigo looked tempted to stand up from his desk before I watched his fingers tighten on his pencil. I sent a smile in his direction, acutely aware of how supremely awkward it was for me to just stand there so silently. Clearing my throat, I waved.

"Hi, dattebane!" Forced cheer and a scratchy voice from my still healing throat seemed to convey an even more arbitrary idea about my whereabouts and current state of mind. Teens and kids I had spent my entire life around looked at me with raised brows and pursed lips—driving home the situation to my heart.

I was completely alone in this, and on my own in adjusting to these cursed memories. I could not look at these faces as temporary and instead continue to treat them with basic respect and compassion. I met the eyes of Asami—a ten year old who had taken a particular liking in my antics—who freely smiled and waved me foreward.

"Good to have you back in class," Jurata said, smiling with that kind old-man face of his. He looked even softer in that moment, perhaps with a few more wrinkles and dark patches of skin across his pale white skin.

"Let's get learning!" I somewhat screeched before excitedly making my way into sitting beside Ichigo as per usual. He immediately slid me a raised-brow look but I merely sent a wink in his direction.

Things were good. I was going to be fine.

I stifled a sigh, taking my books out of my burlap bag. I set my jaw.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

"Kenma, go away!" I shouted, voice full of excitement as I ducked under waving arms and moving bodies. He growled out softly, to which I answered only with the evilest of cackles. My heart was beating as I continued to zigzag around the moving bodies as I pumped my legs as fast as they would possibly go.

My head felt light.

"Get back here, Kushina!" He cried, chasing after me as I gained speed, inspired.

"Only if you admit you like habanero peppers!" I replied with, grinning with evil mirth.

"Ugh! No way! How could you even do that to me? Evil woman!"

"I'm a woman?" I asked, laughing, "I didn't know you looked at me as such!" I spared a second to glance back and gaze at his face. Just as I thought, his face went bright red. Kenma was such an easy tease!

"Shut up! I wanted to enjoy Mika's cake!"

"Sorry!"

"Really?" His voice sounded as if he'd been stunned, not having expected an apology.

"No. This is payback for what you did to me in class!" I chortled once more, and shot forward with speed as a burst of adrenaline spurred me on. Before long, we were in the village's most crowded and lively district. The Tanto District, named for it being one of the more dangerous areas, and for the abundance of weapons. Uzushiogakure ninja were the type to need frequent replacements due to the undoubted experimentation that went on with coming up with interesting, flashy offensive jutsu. Blacksmiths, certainly, were quite prosperous. So much so that this district also contained the highest population of people from different villages. Outsiders, most would call them.

These days, however, there was an obvious lack of them unless they had properly managed to negotiate access. It was obvious to see the harsh atmosphere surrounding the stretch of road, and the tension in the air sung tightly before I blinked.

Tripping forward as I stumbled under the sudden headache, and another bitter recalling of memories I'd rather chew up and spit out, I very nearly fell face first into the dirt.

"— _filled with love."_

Kenma rushed forward, grasping at my sleeves as he shouted, "Kushina!" He pulled me back into his arms, distributing my weight in a quick agile manner that spoke loudly of his training.

"Kenma?" I asked, dazedly, blinking away the dots that blinded my vision. I pushed off the memory— _"filled with love"_ —quickly and vehemently before turning to face my cousin.

"Kushina," Kenma chided as we walked away from the Tanto District, "what were you thinking?"

"You know," I said, getting the feeling I was being nagged, "you're sort of starting to act like Ichigo."

"Really?" Kenma perked up and I gave him a careful glance.

"Yes."

The gullible boy became flushed by what he took as praise—I guess it sort of was, especially for him. Ichigo was a competent person and very easily one of the most charming graduates-to-be that existed among our schoolmates.

"What was that anyway? Another headache?" Kenma asked, changing the subject. Probably from the sheer embarrassment of being complimented by his worst enemy.

"It's nothing," I replied, shrugging my shoulders and I gave an interested glance toward Kenma, "You know, my mom was going to teach me some of the family seals today when I get home. Or at least how to draw them."

The little boy stared at me, as if a little perplexed, "Why are you telling me that?"

I shrugged, "Well, I happen to know that drawing is your favorite part of the whole process."

He was still hesitant, "Are you inviting me over to your house?"

"Yeah, actually," I mumbled, looking at him expectantly.

For the longest time, I had known about his love for art, and something about his annoying personality couldn't help but make me want to win him over. It was the competitor in me, I think. Either way, I was much more observant than I let on and it had become sorely obvious that Kenma had been missing out on his hobby for a while now. He was already proficient, above even most chuunin level Uzumaki seal masters in the way he was able to create nearly perfect seals on the first try. Because of that, he had been advised to focus more on his weaker areas in his training, chakra control. It was understandable, but he got cranky much faster on days he felt insufficient.

No wonder he was so annoyed with me. Chakra control came very easily to me.

"Alright," Kenma said softly, eyes wide with surprise. Then his pose suddenly shifted, "This isn't a joke on me, right? Not like with the peppers, right?"

My brows shot up in surprise, "You must think me low, but I wouldn't do that to a friend."

"F-friend...?" He asked, face flushed beet red before he let out an exclamation, "You haven't won the war! I won't be fooled by your pretty words!"

For a moment I was too stunned to reply but then suddenly I found myself clutching the sides of my stomach, trying to contain my sudden laughter. Eyes brimming with tiny tears, I heard it tear through my throat in peals as I nearly fell to my knees.

"This isn't funny," Kenma whined as he stood awkwardly to the side.

"Oh, Kenma! You're a hoot!" I bit out in between cackles, "Don't ever change please!"

"Tch, you've gone insane," Kenma muttered, then pushed his hand into my right shoulder, "Well then, let's get going to your house, we don't have all day to learn seals after all."

"Un!" I cheered, still fighting back the occasional giggle as we both headed to my home.

As soon as we got there, I didn't waste any time slamming open the front door and yelling out, "I'm home, Mom! I brought Kenma!"

As soon as the words were out, Satsuki appeared with a pleasant smile on her face, only for it to grow bigger just as she laid eyes on the boy, "You've grown!"

Kenma flushed, but nodded nonetheless, "I eat a lot." He looked happy.

"I bet you do!" Satsuki nodded in understanding, "Kushina-chan is the same way, Kenma-kun. She eats even more than I do!"

"Mooom," I bit out, lips puffed out in a pout, "It's not my fault you're so good at cooking."

Satsuki gazed at me suspiciously, "You get that excuse from your father, don't you? Always with the false compliments."

I puffed out my cheeks, "I'm no liar! Ne, Kenma, you should stay for dinner and prove me right," I offered, glancing at the blue eyed boy in surprise as I noticed he was smiling. Actually smiling. This stubborn, usually whining boy was smiling. Strangely enough, his smile was contagious and I grinned at him broadly, "He's staying for dinner, Mom! So what seals are you going to teach us?"

Satsuki merrily laughed and beckoned the two of us bratty kids with a waggle of her fingers before she led us to the scrolls room. I took this as my chance to inhale the scent of the aged scrolls and let out a mischievous laugh.

"Our family has the second most scrolls in the village," I bragged and Kenma just shrugged.

"Ours has the most," Kenma replied with, a confident grin on his face.

"Well you live with Grandpa! I claim it's nepotism!"

Kenma gazed at me curiously, looking at me as if I were just simply dumb, "Wouldn't it be nepotism for your own family too? I mean, we both are related to him."

I frowned, "I mean, I guess by blood. But he's never taken an interest in me aside from getting me to train earlier than most kids and even then we don't see each other very often. Besides, these scrolls were earned by Dad's collecting habits."

"Alright!" Mom cut in cheerfully before Kenma could respond, but due to me having lived with her for so long, I could recognize when she was hiding something. Her nose scrunched up a little in thought and her eyes were pinched. I wondered, vaguely, what caused her to be so upset when it came to her father. I guess they just didn't have a very good relationship.

"Mom?" I asked curiously and she just smiled.

"I'll be teaching you how to draw a memory seal."

"Memory seal?" Kenma and I chorused with curiosity.

"It's a well-known seal in our family," my mother explained, "It's just to help with all the information we have to retain as seal masters. It doesn't actually seal any memories within, however," Mom looked slightly sad as she said her next words, "The seal that  _does_  do that should be taboo." I was going to ask why but as soon as I opened my mouth, she went on, "What this seal  _does_  do, is help our brains with developing excellent retention skills. It's only a temporary boost, however, as paper isn't lasting."

"Then what about a flesh seal?" I asked and Mom's face grew worried.

"I absolutely prohibit you ever learning flesh seals," My mother said, voice stern and unrelenting, "And I advise you, Kenma, to never take an interest in them either."

I was immediately confused.

Didn't she have flesh seals? I could distinctly recall bathing with her and seeing all sorts of things on her back and arms. If they were so bad, why did she have so many? What I knew of flesh seals was that they lasted forever and they were usually showcased to be our most dangerous weapon. With flesh seals, we could do permanent damage, and the offensive possibilities were endless in a fight. Distorting someone's perception of reality and what they know as real? Easy peasy.

But then, what of the seals that were made in consideration to binding the Kyuubi and the other tailed beasts? I asked.

"Wait, what about the seals that put the big monsters into the people like in the bedtime stories?" I kept my tone childishly innocent, "Aren't those flesh seals?"

Satsuki sighed, "They aren't considered as such. They weren't designed to be permanent as all other flesh seals are. Those seals are just simply called binding seals, and we are able to remove things if we would want…"

"Will we learn the binding seals?" I asked, really hoping that would be the case. If I couldn't learn the coolness of what looked like tattoos, then I could at least learn something actually useful to me.

"Yes," Satsuki grumbled, before turning to the shelves of scrolls and picking up two scrolls as well as ink, papers, and brushes. She opened one scroll and the three of us sat down, as Kenma and I waited expectantly. My mother cleared her throat as she laid out the scroll, "This scroll is for motivation, Kushina-chan. This is something I'm sure you'll be very interested in. I'll give you a hint as to why: It deals with summoning."

I jumped up, jaw slack and eyes wide, "Really!?"

Satsuki looked to be in a mixture of relief and amusement, as she laughed, "Yes. But first you have to master this seal. Today you'll be learning how to draw it, and about the basic structure of the seal, and of most seals. And then, I'll be teaching you how to actually use the seal." She grinned as I bounced with excitement, "You're welcome to invite Ichigo as well, Kenma-kun."

Kenma smiled and nodded, "I will."

"Now, let's get started."

Satsuki kept us busy for the rest of the time, and left midway in our lesson once we both just had to practice drawing it on our own. I can't say I did as well as Kenma, making me wonder why I had invited him knowing it would be this way in the first place. He was able to completely draw it within the hour Satsuki left to prepare dinner. I was a little bit slow in comparison, as I could only draw half of it as good as it was supposed to be. My calligraphy wasn't bad, but I just couldn't match up to the genius in front of me.

Later in the night, our dinner was rather noisy and silly, as Kenma and I refused to back down in our banter but my parents put up with it, with happy, amused grins. Kenma left with flushed cheeks and a promise for Ichigo to join us tomorrow.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

"Hello," I mumbled awkwardly, bowing in a greeting as my eyes skidded to the Hyuuga from before as he stood in the corner of the room. I probably should have been focusing more on the clan head. As it was, I didn't have the closest relationship with my grandfather and most times it was a stretch to call him the same way my cousins did.

"Hello," the man grumbled and it was at this time that I realized I had never really retained what his actual name was. So much for being polite.

"May I ask what I've been summoned for?" I asked cautiously. Something was wrong here, very wrong and I could feel it in the air. It was so tangible that I almost felt I was breathing it in, like little tiny bubbles that found it's way into my passageways before slowly closing them...

After all, the only thing I ever saw him for was to be chided about my misguided actions. But he surprised me with his next works.

"Kushina-chan, it seems you are, as it turns out, what we've been looking for."

"Looking...for?" I was near to peeing at this point.

"Have you ever heard of Mito Uzumaki?"

I flushed. Boy, did I ever. I was raised, more like brainwashed, into believing she was close to royalty, a queen in her own right. Everyone knew who Mito was. Everyone. And it didn't seems to matter that she was the container to such a dangerous entity. And then there was the added fact that Kushina had an  _important_  relationship with the woman.

I nodded, "But what does that have to do with me?"

A sinking feeling started in my chest and fell to my stomach as realization struck me.

Sometimes I was successful enough in forgetting the memories that I turned out to be clueless and dumb. But now I could suddenly recall what I had overheard earlier.

This happened to Kushina too.

This is how she got to Konoha in the first place, for her special chakra. For  _my_ special chakra.

But why on Earth had I pushed that tidbit aside?

Pretending as if my memories were a joke, and Naruto would never be born. Of course I had pushed it off. What an odd thing to keep focus on the fact that I would give birth to the  _chosen one_. It was in this moment that I realized, like ice cold water splashed onto my face, that I hadn't accepted everything like I had thought I'd done. Instead, I had felt as if this was still just a hazy dream. A paradise. As if I had been in heaven. I felt my hands shaking, a mountainous pressure creeping slowly to rest on my shoulders. My vision grew blurry as I tried to listen to the clan head.

He cleared his throat, "Your chakra is special and largely compatible with what we have in mind for you."

"What for?" I asked, my voice surprisingly faint, and light.

"For you to become a Jinchuuriki," the clan head replied with, almost coldly.

And I knew. There was no getting out of fate.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

As it turned out, that Hyuuga man  _was_  apart of the main family. A natural sensor matched with the Byakugan, he was able to spot a mile away what my chakra type was. It sort of explained why he stared at me so weirdly. He, most certainly, was the man that sealed my fate. His name was Hakuba Hyuuga, and he was the clan head, the father to two twin boys. He, apparently, had been here to assist with our defense, meeting with some of our sensors to give them some tips or whatever, this was right after the hokage had already verified it for himself.

I looked at all of my past interactions with the pair in a bizarrely new light.

"Why are you frowning so much?" Ichigo asked, brows raised in question as the three of us practiced drawing the memory seal.

"Our stupid grandpa!" I bit out rather vehemently, "and stupid, stick-up-the-butt Hyuuga, and lying stupid hokage..." I muttered as I faded into an intelligible grumble.

"What did he do?" Ichigo looked rather conflicted but I couldn't fathom why.

"He's carting me off at the end of this stupid month. That's what he's stupidly doing! Stupid,stupid,stupid..."

"Isn't it an honor?" My friend asked, voice sounding surprised, "You  _are_ going to be working with Mito-sama on something very important, aren't you?"

"Is that what the clan head told you?" I asked, feeling absolutely livid with his excuses. Something important, my ass. Working on something? He made it sound as if I was coming back. As if. As, fucking, if. To the best of my knowledge, Kushina had left and never came back because her entire clan had been destroyed.

The thought was too scary to even think. I whimpered, suddenly feeling very lost.

"Is there any other way to describe it?" He asked, eyes too focused on his task to see my sudden change in posture and I sighed, making sure to keep my feelings in check. I'd learned from my last life that taking it out on friends was often more detrimental than beneficial, even as obvious as it should have been.

"Yeah," I muttered out as my strokes suddenly got very well practiced. I found myself completing the seal for the first time since I'd started practicing. Before Ichigo could nag as usual in his older brother 'I'm-just-looking-after-you' way, I jumped up. "Yatta! I did it, 'ttebane!"

"Good for you," Ichigo mumbled as he looked down at his clumsy strokes. Kenma stole all the artistic genes, I suppose.

"I've just been practicing longer than you," I said to cheer him up, although none of my failures had looked that bad. Possibly because Mom turned sadistic when she taught me calligraphy and the Uzumaki shorthand.

"Yeah!" Kenma agreed, looking over from his spot as he actually practiced with his chakra to make the seal was where he has a hard time, so he was just as frustrated as Ichigo was.

With a light bulb moment, I realized I needed to do something to cheer them up. Sighing, I moved a little bit away from them and started to dance. It was probably what I was the worst at. My mother had always wanted a daughter that she could teach her family's traditional dances too, but after the numerous failures and my inability to improve, my mother had to accept that I was never going to excel in the area of dancing. Since then, I learned mostly the boy developed style of fighting style and had never looked back on the atrocity I had been as a dancer.

Until now.

After a few moments, I could see the two of them looking slack jawed at me as I hopped awkwardly around, looking similar to a chicken with its head cut off. Then the two boys started to laugh.

"Kushina, you really have gone crazy!" Kenma exclaimed, pointing at me with one hand clutched to his stomach.

"I agree with Kenma for once. What are you doing?" Ichigo asked between fits of laughter and cackling evilly over my embarrassment.

With my face flushed bright red over something I had vowed to never show to anyone, I scuttled over to grab a scroll as I covered my face, "I was trying to show you," I mumbled, "that we aren't supposed to be innately good at things. To learn and grow, the journey, isn't that the fun part of everything? That moment we actually succeed, isn't that moment priceless? I happen to like that feeling a whole lot more than just naturally being good at things. The Uzumaki... We're supposed to be the ones who enjoy a challenge, right? So...don't give up."

There was a soft moment of silence, as I hid my brightly colored face away from their prying eyes. Then, I heard the two boys get up, and I watched as their feet came closer to me. Without a word, the two boys took the scroll away from me as they smiled, brilliantly. Kenma was more so reluctant than his brother, a blush of his own covering his face but his lips were curved just as much.

"Thank you, Kushina," Ichigo said, "For showing us something very, er, wonderful."

Kenma snorted, and just like that the three of us were laughing uncontrollably, clutching our stomachs and hanging onto each other for support. My bad mood forgotten, we were found like that by my mother as she called us to dinner, observing curiously as she watched us try to gather our breath.

"What's so funny?"

At that, we all chortled.

"I suck at making seals," Ichigo tried to explain before taken by the laughter again.

"I suck at chakra control," Kenma added on, having to lean onto Ichigo for support, which Ichigo lacked himself as the two of them crash to the floor in a fit of laughter.

"I showed them my dancing!" I cheered as I merrily jumped into the dog pile. Mom's face went white.

"I thought you promised to never show anybody your p-pretty dancing."

The three of us quieted as we let her words sink in. It was quiet, oddly, comfortably quiet, but Mom ruined it by her sudden laugh. Which ensued another round of gut wrenching cackles.

To me, it felt rather bittersweet, knowing that in only a month's time I would be in Konoha, and my home would be in ruins.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

The whispers of moving away from our little island only grew to be more incessant as time grew on, the rumors escalating as we all wondered what on Earth had gone so wrong that some of us were already leaving the village. It seemed as if the village was split, like Kenma and Ichigo. One believed we could beat the enemy, (we  _were_  fuinjutsu masters and thus, tricky to beat) yet the other side believed we should move, leave to Konoha and come back once the problem was gone. It was clear what Konoha wanted to have done, what with the way they brought in representatives discussing how  _nice_  and beautiful it was there. Some bought into it and were already packing their bags. Others? Not so much. Some had even taken to sealing their houses with protective ones, and using fortifying seals to make sure their house could last if matters got worse. Even my father had done that, secretly, to our house.

As tensions grew and the whispers grew into a raucous roar (at least they did in the meetings my father attended) my mother grew more worried, frantic even. It showed when I would wake up in the middle of the night for a glass of water, only to witness her shoving items into a knapsack. She would stare at it for a few moments before taking everything back out and laying it on the table. All the things were either weapons or scrolls.

Satsuki wanted to choose the option of flight, and it made sense. As my father had said to me in one of our passing conversations, Mom wanted to raise me up in a different village for reasons I couldn't fathom but had ended up staying for my stubborn father.

Kushiro was different. He wanted to fight back with everything we had, show the entire world that Uzushiogakure had nothing to hide, and no possible weakness. We were strong, and one united front as family served as the most important thing on our tiny island. He took everyone's divided views very badly, and even struggled with Mom's desire to leave.

Surprisingly enough (in my whole entire life I had never heard them disagree), I could now wake up to hear the both of them arguing, wondering what was best for our tiny trio. Our family.

School remained the same, however, and there was no visible rush in the students being taught. It almost felt as if in the moment we entered those doors or left, it was a world of worry, of murmurs and paranoia outside. For the time spent in school it was almost like a little paradise, filled with simple games and competitions. Kenma was still a punk after all and I was more desperate than ever for a distraction. Ichigo became kind of reclusive, however, withdrawn. When Kenma and I would start up a game, he would just wave his hand and sit off to the side with his leaf. It was almost as if he were trying to master chakra control, so that he could have the chance to fight too.

It was safe to say that I was worried. That nervous feeling in my gut told me something  _very_  bad was going to happen. And  _that_  was a no-brainer. I mean, I knew things. I could recall things from my past life. I knew things that related to the future of this world but, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what I could do to fix this mess. Because I didn't know what caused it.

I made excuses, instead. I told myself that I was still too young in the eyes of the public for anyone to listen to me. I lied and told myself this was all just a dream, that or that the other life was. I told myself I had nothing to worry about.

But that wasn't the case at all.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

"Happy birthday, Kushina," my mother said, just as Mika brought the cake out. I stared, dumbfounded by the beauty of it, even if it was elegantly simple. It just a white cake after all, save for a tiny red flower in the middle of it.

It was the most impressive sight my eyes had ever laid on.

My shoulders felt heavy with emotion that could only be described as gratitude.

"It's not a habanero pepper," I murmured quietly, grinning at my private joke. To the others confusion, I just shook my head as I stood up to give Mika a hug, "Thank you, Mika-san."

"No problem, Ku-chan," Mika replied, winking. Her pet name for me never failed to make me flush. It just sounded rather cute and I wasn't used to being 'cute'. Mika merely grinned at my reaction.

"Happy birthday," Ichigo told me, bringing a hand forward to pat my head. His eyes were still dark and lost, but today, if I weren't just being optimistic, he was looking happier, more so than anything else.

"Thank you, Ichi-kun," I grinned brightly at him, as I enveloped him in a hug. In my past life, I wouldn't have ever done that. I was much too shy and reclusive. Yet, whether it was the Uzumaki genes or the fact I was in a child's body, I was the 'free-hugs' type of person most of the time in this world. Ichigo laughed, not minding it at all as I separated from him and turned to the cake, ready to blow out the candles. Just as I did, there were claps and laughter and I jumped with anticipation as Mom took out the candles and picked up the knife to start cutting the cake, "Give me this biggest-est piece, Mom," I demanded and with an amused chuckle, she nodded.

"Yes, Kushina-hime."

I flushed happily as I realized that Satsuki was determined for this to be a good day.

Ever since Dad and her had gone to meet the clan head, she'd been very quiet and reclusive, thoughtful. It had been very disappointing when I finally showed her my finished product of a working memory seal and she had just wordlessly handed me the summoning scroll, no explanation whatsoever on how to use it, or learn from it. It was written in the Uzumaki shorthand but it was far too hard of a scroll. It was more like a scroll for a chuunin or tokubetsu jounin. Not for an Academy student. Was it perhaps, a long term goal for me? That made the most sense, but I was still kind of disappointed.

"Kushina-hime!" Kenma cheered, having warmed up to me immensely, as he jumped forward to bump into my shoulder. I bumped back harder. We still argued but it was more like siblings fighting, if I was honest.

"Shut it," I said smugly, "or you get no cake."

Kenma mimed zipping up his lips and throwing away the key as Mom delivered my piece of cake to me. It was one of those time I wish I could recall how to make ice cream. Cake and ice cream were the best together. Oh well, it'd come back to me one day.

As soon as everyone had been served a piece, we all sat in the dining room, and I surveyed my family, taking in how much love I had for them all. It seemed unfathomable for me to have so many people supporting me, as in my past life, family hadn't been so keen to loving. I grinned at all of them before taking a big bite of my cake.

"Be prepared," Mika said as everyone else dug in, "I got you the best present ever." Next to her Arisa smiled.

"Wasn't the cake your present?" I asked, put off by accepting too much kindness. I mean, they had even closed the shop just for me.

"As if," Arisa said, grinning, "Mom and I plan to spoil you rotten today."

I laughed, a bit childishly as I reached out over the table to touch their hands. I'm sure they always kept their hands within distance just for my sake. I had such a weird thing with touch, it was almost OCD.

"You won't beat me at it," Dad announced, "Satsuki and I have the best present ever."

Mika and Arisa exchanged glances before playfully laughing.

"We'll see about that," Mika said.

"Oh ,stop it," Satsuki humorously scolded.

"Eh? It's just friendly competition, Satsuki-chan." Mika replied, blinking at that, everyone in the room laughed, even Kenma and Ichigo's dad, who was usually so quiet and lost in his thoughts. It seemed everyone was determined for it to be a good day.

And it really was.

Once everyone had finished eating, thoughts went back to the presents and in the end I was the ultimate judge to see who would win. As I was handed the box which held Mika's present, she winked at me, causing me to laugh as I hurriedly opened it.

What was in the box caught me completely by surprise. I had thought it would be clothes, or even cooking tools, but never this. Tears welled up in my eyes as I delicately removed it from the box, letting out a whimper.

"I remembered you telling me you wished for a way to have something to keep your memories forever. I also know that you're very concerned about going to Konoha, and I want to ask of you to send me back letters with the things you take with that."

"How?" I croaked, wiping away tears as I looked at her.

"I took a little of the proceeds that we raked in and splurged a little."

I couldn't help but grin, couldn't help but feel an immense relief towards this gift.

Because inside that box had been something I never thought I'd see again. A camera.

It was very big, and clunky, but it was a camera nonetheless and I couldn't be more ecstatic.

In my past life, I hadn't taken very many photos. I was usually too nervous or shy. But something about being able to keep a single moment engraved forever in the physical world meant a lot in that moment.

With a nod, I studied the camera very carefully, wondering what kind of materials had gone into creating it. I hadn't even known camera's had been made yet. I thought they came a little later, during Naruto's era. After I had figured out how to work it, I simply wiped my tears away, grabbed both Kenma and Ichigo, as three of us took the first selfie ever.

Perfect lighting, angle, and no filters, it was probably one of my favorite moments of the day. The photo turned out great, as it developed and the film shot out and I caught it. It showcased the three of us, Kenma looking confused and adorable, Ichigo looking surprised, and me smiling in the middle making peace sign with my free hand as I had wrapped my arms around the two, bringing us close. It was a nice photo that I knew would become my treasure.

As I showed everyone in the family, Kenma demanding we retake it as he said he looked weird, I couldn't help but feel weightless.

"Now, as great of a present that was," Dad said, still looking confident although I couldn't fathom how. Camera beat everything. Well everything except...

"Our present to you is a new little sibling," My father announced carelessly, Satsuki's face completely covered in a blush as everyone's eyes shot to her stomach.

"How long?" Mika asked, eyes wide.

"I'm four weeks along in the first trimester."

"Kushina?" Kushiro asked, noticing that I was frozen, blankly gazing at my mother's stomach. Everyone went quiet as I suddenly walked forward to Mom and held my ear to her stomach. I fought back tears. I wanted this, I wanted this tiny life to live or to make it past the odds of our clan's demise.

"It's gonna be a girl," was all I said as everyone exhaled in relief.

"Ano," Arisa spoke up after a moment, "who won?"

I debated in my head. Camera, sister, camera, sister, camera, sister... "No one. It's a tie."

"Lifelong memories of a cute little sister doesn't win?" Kushiro asked, slightly disappointed.

"Being able to take pictures that immortalize those memories doesn't win?" Mika asked, the fire in her eyes speaking volumes of her unwillingness to draw at a time.

"I'm just happy I'm able to have both," I murmured, a lazy, satisfied grin settling itself on my face.

"I guess that's all that matters," Mika mumbled, cheeks warm with happiness.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

"Don't go," I heard my mother whisper, her tone desperate. I blinked, surprised by her urgency. I had just gotten up to get water and this is what I see? I moved as quietly as I could to hear more clearly. Yesterday had been such a happy day that something like this felt near to a dream. No one really likes to accept the bad things, do they?

"I have to. People have _died_ , Satsuki. I have to do something to protect you and Kushina."

"But you may—."

"I have to see my daughter wedded, right?" Kushiro murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, "I can't go dying now."

It was a possibility, I knew so very well. Because I  _didn't_  know.

Nothing had ever been said about Kushina's— _my_  parents. Yet I watched, in dumb-struck horror, as my father left a still-faced Satsuki, eyes twisted in pain when his gaze traveled in my direction. I stood, frozen to the spot even as he tried for a calming smile. I wasn't calmed. I didn't  _feel_  calm. I felt angry and scared.

I wonder, really. I wonder how Kushina must have felt, watching her father leave. Or if she had been oblivious to everything to the very end.

I really wonder.

* * *

**Fictional World**

* * *

It was almost a blessing in disguise when my father stepped into the doors of our house, breathless. Satsuki and I had jumped up from our tasteless, silent meal. Neither of us had gotten too much sleep last night, so it was no wonder we ended up tripping and falling into Dad. The three of us landed on the floor but I didn't care. I did my best to stay as close to my father as I could.

"How did it go?" Satsuki asked, her own voice a shaky whisper.

"It went fine, as you can see. Not even a scratch."

"Did you fight a bad guy?" I asked him, peering up at him for his reply.

He nodded, causing Satsuki to sigh. "He was no match for your daddy, sweetheart."

I found my head bobbing in understanding. But there was a strange  _look_  in his eye.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, my dear. Why don't you go finish up your breakfast? I have something to discuss with your mother." He was trying peculiarly hard not say whatever he was keeping inside.

"I'm nine," I said to him, stubbornly, as I stuck to his body like glue, "I can handle what you're about to say."

Kushiro gazed at me briefly, the wheels turning in his head before he finally nodded, "It does involves you, Kushina."

"Me?" I blinked, in relative surprise.

"Yes. It seems that the council has been talking about some things."

"Things?" Satsuki picked up on, her voice sharp.

Kushiro sighed, waving a hand at their current situation, "I think you girls should properly sit down for this news."

"What? Why?" I panicked, feeling highly alarmed as I stood up, my mother following after as the three of us headed back into the dining room.

"Kushina, you are a very special girl," Kushiro said, eyes grave as he said this, "more special than all of us."

"I don't see why," I mumbled, eyes downcast. I didn't like to feel different from the others. It made me feel less unitary and more… secluded.

"Your chakra, my dear, is different and very special. And they need you immediately, and you'll be leaving to Konoha tomorrow."

"Why?" My voice sounded hollow, scratchy and thin, "What changed? I wasn't supposed to leave until the end of the month!"

"Mito-sama needs you immediately. I don't exactly know all the details but I do know that it has to deal will the Kyuubi."

"Why?" I tried to believe that my voice hadn't cracked as my face went white as a sheet. I knew what he was trying to tell me but  _no_. I didn't  _want_  this. I wanted to stay with everyone else. I wanted us to stay a family.

"I'm sorry, Kushina."

I knew why Mito needed me, however. I knew it in my gut. She was dying and I would need to take her place as the Jinchuuriki.

* * *

**Fictional World – End**


	3. A Clan of Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to opt out of line breaks, they just take so long to add in aaaa but the ones I have already in the story and in this chapter will remain because im lazy...

**Fire Flower**

* * *

 

**_3_ **

* * *

 

“I mean it _is_ for the last time—.”

“For _now_ ,” Ichigo interrupted his brother, standing with a stiffness in his shoulders and stubborn denial in his eyes.

“For now,” I agreed, even if it hurt to say the lie. For all I knew it really was the last time. Still, I sucked in a breath of air before continuing, “So all we need for this is lots of nails and a hammer. Which I have already gotten to our destination.” I looked around us nervously before meeting the hesitant gaze of the only one of us that was unsure of the plan.

“Do you think Jurata-sensei will be mad?” Kenma asked and I shrugged.

“He should understand already from the last time. Besides, we’re also sort of training by doing this?” I looked to Ichigo, who merely smiled at me.

“It’s okay,” he said, reaching a hand out to pat his brother’s back, “we’re doing this as a going away for her, after all. If we get in trouble, maybe we can convince them that Kushina is broken so she could stay.”

I snickered, and wanted nothing more than that.

“Well, we should go if we’re going to get this done by sunrise,” I reminded them. We nodded together before ducking behind my house as we headed down the hill that would sooner or later lead to the school.

The streets were quiet as we walked, eerily empty and dark even as we passed by through the shopping district. Everyone was inside sleeping by this point, or bundling up around a fire while they contemplated life on the island.

Another world…

I shook my head as I straightened my back, finding my hand being caught in Ichigo’s.

He glanced at me and we both kept our silence, our fingers clasping with each other to form an unbreakable hold. My fingers which had been previously freezing warmed up considerably as my shoulders relaxed.

I smiled, realizing just how much I needed this.

“When they come into the school tomorrow, they’ll have no idea what hit them,” I said, laughing as I goaded Ichigo to quicken his pace.

“Actually, I’m pretty sure they’re going to be wondering _how_ they get their desks back.”

Laughter followed Ichigo’s words, the three of us grinning at each other before I pulled out the box of nails from underneath my own desk. It was way too easy to hide things in here, being as the desks were closed off. As annoying to my legs they were, the fact that you couldn’t see through them was honestly working in our favor.

“Where did you even get these from?” Kenma asked, incredulous at the sight of box. “How did you get this in here?”

“Well, I have my ways,” I sneakily announced, winking in response before releasing my orange chains. “Never mind that for now though, Kenma! Let’s get to work!”

“I’m the best with chakra control out of all three of us,” Ichigo said, “so I’ll be the one to stand on the ceiling, nailing it in while the both of you use the chains to hold me and the desks up too.”

“I got the chairs and desks!” I offered, already sending out my chains to wrap around them before spinning them around to sit on the ceiling perfectly. Ichigo took the cue to position his feet against the wall before coming to stand right beside the desk.

Kenma, obviously worried for his brother, sent his chains out and as faint as they looked, they seemed to have a pretty solid grip on Ichigo’s legs and stomach.

“Toss me up the hammer and nails, ”Ichigo ordered and I looked dubiously to the straining Kenma.

Creating a new chain on my own, it wrapped around the tool as I passed it up with several nails to get the job done. Ichigo grabbed them carefully, placing a few nails in his mouth before getting ready to nail in the first leg.

“This is going to be hard work,” I mumbled, feeling the strain on my chakra reserves, “but it’s _so_ going to be worth it.”

Ichigo grunted his affirmation, hitting away while Kenma just sighed out.

“It better be.”

* * *

 

**A Clan of Monsters**

* * *

 

By the time we were actually finished, never had I been faced with so much exhaustion. Ichigo looked even worse for wear, and Kenma looked outright about to pass out where he stood. Yet I still couldn’t help but feel a sense of extreme pride at the the masterpiece we had just created.

“Great job,” I commented, clapping the both of them on the back before turning towards the door, “and now we take a nap before school starts.”

“I want a full eight hours,” Kenma whined and I had to sympathize with his plight.

I needed something to eat, a place to lay in comfort, and no interruptions.

We trudged out of the room, leaning on each other for support.

* * *

 

**A Clan of Monsters**

* * *

 

Upon waking up thirty minutes later disoriented, even more exhausted than before, the three of us clambered up from the grassy patch besides the fountain and proceeded to head to class. It was still only a few minutes before the school day started but even so, as we approached the doors there was a line of both teachers and classmates in front of the door as whispers were tossed from there to here.

“What happened here?” Jun, a boy a little bit older than me, asked, wide eyes attempting to peer around the backs of some of the teachers.

I attempted to fight back my laughter, but couldn’t seem to restrain the smile that came to my face after hearing some of the amazed voices from the adults.

“Well, whoever did this will, uh, be punished.”

We exchanged looks, expressionless for just a split second before Kenma deliriously cracked up. His lips split into a wide, emphatic smile, his laughter bouncing into the hall. In reaction, I couldn’t help join in with his infectious chuckles, and soon Ichigo joined in too.

The three of us had tears running down our cheeks in mere minutes, clutching each other for support before collapsing onto our knees, clutching our stomachs and somewhat wincing against the pain.

“Did the three of you do this?” Jurata asked, curious and smiling back if just vaguely.

Our answer just fell into peals of even more laughter.

* * *

 

**A Clan of Monsters**

* * *

 

“Mom, how am I special?” I asked, staring down at my hands after having quietly finished my dinner. I looked up to my mom when I heard her clear her throat.

“Well…,” she trailed, voice soft while she bit at her lower lip in thought, “ah. Kushina, have you ever heard of the healing bite?”

“Yeah, of course! But we only use it under dire circumstances, after all,” I smartly said, and then paused for deeper consideration. We could all use it but it was generally taboo for it to be used unless it was life or death situations—otherwise, we’d be disobeying both tradition and disrespecting our genetic advantage. Either way, we tended to stick with the revolutionized Konoha coined iryo-ninjutsu techniques as we shared our seals with them so mostly bite marks could only rarely be seen.

Again, I had to question how utterly unlikely the Uzumaki could possibly fall after having proven to be so…powerful. Strong in values and family, strong in skill and ability. Where was the weakness?

The only thing I could think of would be location, but only because of the distance from a source of help. However, with that in mind, we could clearly see enemies coming from a mile away if that were the case! We also wouldn’t exactly need the help either, just blankly knowing that we could just seal a bunch of people into a void.

So _what_ was it?

“See, the healing bite works off of chakra and in general ours has always been…special. Normal chakra cannot take on a physical form without some sort of transformation but we are able to use ours without it. There are a few of us with the ability to take it to a whole new level, just like Mito-sama and yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“You two both have a chakra with an intense density, stronger than the others and with your body so used to it, it acts as a second limb for you.” Mom chuckled proudly before going on, “It’s sort of why you’ve been accelerating so quickly in your studies. Previously, Mito had been just as strong as the first Hokage with these abilities.”

“Oh?” My brows lifted and I looked down at my arm, suddenly miffed, “So…it’s just stronger? What’s so special about that?”

“With us, it just means another level of security for sealings, Kushina, and that is special enough.”

* * *

 

**A Clan of Monsters**

* * *

 

“Have you packed everything up, Kushina?” Mom asked me as she came into my room, smiling in a soft manner before coming forward to sit beside me on my bed. Her hands went to my hair as she brushed through the long locks on my back.

“I don’t want to leave,” I commented, looking down at the bag carrying the scrolls of my things. I had done these seals with painstaking precision and had taken nearly six hours to get them completed—I didn’t exactly want to admit to myself that it was due to a half-baked plan to stall for time.

I could handle dying a second time if it meant I could stay with them.

I could _not_ handle leaving. To know it would happen, and to know that these people that I just loved _so_ much would be gone…my heart continued to ache. I pushed back the tears, breathing in slowly before turning my gaze up towards Mom.

“Sweet lily, I would love nothing more than you staying here with me,” she whispered, sighing as she continued to rub at my back. “You’re the…you’re the…you’re my daughter. I will always want you beside me.”

I nodded numbly, “I know why I have to go. They need me in Konoha.” Inside, I denied the way my voice seemed to shudder over the last few words out of my mouth, and I covered my eyes with a hand, attempting to cover up what I could only assume would tear my mother up even more.

Mom reached over, placing her palm to my forehead, pushing back my bangs before leaning over to kiss me on the cleared surface.

My shoulders shook, but I did not look up even for a moment.

I knew, just _knew_ it would tear _me_ up to see her expression too.

Silence pervaded.

**A Clan of Monsters**

_Not everybody gets the chance to say goodbye, do they?_ I thought to myself with a grimace, hand clutching my sack of things closely to my chest. I quietly made my way out of my room and slowly walked through my house in what I felt would be the last time I ever would.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

 _I_ would never be the same.

When I finally managed to push back the tears and left the house I had spent my entire life in, the people I had been surrounded by stood with mutually saddened faces.

My mother was blinking rapidly as soon as she saw me, leaning into my father for support. I sucked in a breath of air, steeling myself for what could be the hardest minutes of my life.

"So," I laughed, trying to ignore the way my heart pounded so quickly in my chest, "This is it."

I faced my family of seven years, my favorite family to have ever been with.

We all stood in my home, the house I had grown up for a second time in, and we were merely waiting for my guide to come and take me to Konoha. It was bittersweet when I actually saw Kenma trying to hide tears behind his brother’s back. I mean, just a few weeks ago he hated my guts and now we were actually like a pair of bantering siblings.

He was the one I went over to hug first, arms wrapping tightly around his stiff body. It took him only a second to react strongly, our breaths leaving in a gush. Still, I had nothing to say that would calm him down. Yet he held on tightly and cried into my shoulder in a way I would have never expected.

"Don't change," he hiccupped out when he finally let go hesitantly, his eyes swollen, "When you get to Konoha, don't change for anything."

I nodded fiercely before giving him a radiant, goofy smile, "Kenma, you too. Don’t get any smarter while I’m away."

"W-What!?” He squawked, completely caught off guard by the backhanded words.

At that, I gave a hearty laugh, one I stopped short before it could go bitter.

Then, I turned to Ichigo.

He gave me a weak smile and I couldn't help but grimace. Ichigo had actually changed in front of me as he grew to be much more... mature? No, he resembled a lost child.

I sighed as I studied him but out of some sort of weird compulsion, I brought my finger up and jabbed him in the forehead.

"You!" I cried out, letting all of my frustrations out, "How dare you grow up in front of me! You know, Ichi-kun, you  _don't_  have to hold in those brooding thoughts! You share them because that allows the people that love you to care for you, and isn't that priceless?" I ranted as he looked at me, eyes wide in obvious shock, "Let us in, let us be the ones who worry _with_ you. Nothing will change for the better," I breathed out, "unless you say something, okay?” I paused, and grabbed his hands, “I love you, Ichigo. You're like a brother to me and it…it hurts when you hurt."

As soon as I went quiet, Ichigo took a moment to digest it, his eyes wide. Then, he leaned into me, face leaning against my shoulders before I heard distinctive sounds so sobbing, his body shaking with unbidden tears. Soon, as it escalated, he was bawling just like Kenma.

 Unrelentingly, tears rose to my eyelids and I leaned into him, my ears sliding against his silky red hair before I too started shaking.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo mumbled out, quietly in a whisper only for me to hear, “I’ll love you forever, Kushina.”

I could physically feel the pain of my heart when he spoke these cherished words, and nothing could stop the rush of sobs that wracked my body as I held tightly, _tightly_ onto him. Desperation licked at me as I thought only of a future with him in it. I couldn’t imagine anything different.

“Forever,” I agreed and forced myself to pull back, but not before I wiped at the snot and tears on my face.

Close by, I heard my father snort, "There goes my baby girl, already making all of the boys cry. She's gonna be one hell of a heart breaker." His tone was joking. Still, when I looked up, he was brushing away a distinctive wetness in the corners of his eye.

I looked down to my feet shyly, still wiping at my face as I mumbled lamely, “I’m _your_ little heart breaker.” With those utterly too real words, I jumped into my father's arms, wrapping myself tightly in his embrace allowing myself one last selfish phrase, "Daddy will always be my favorite boy in the whole world!"

"Better keep it that way for the rest of your life," he demanded, "Don't go falling in love over there."

"I p-promise," I murmured, thinking only of a certain blonde boy. Then I looked up to my father and felt right then how much…how much this fucking hurt.

I leaned into his body closely, and sucked in a breath that left me close to puking at the thought of never seeing him again. I shook, and felt something heavy on my head and shoulders put its full weight on me. Still, I persevered in meeting his eyes and taking every moment I could to study the way they looked, and the very way they shined with unshed tears, in the sunlight that streamed through the leaves on the swaying trees.

“I don’t want to go,” I whispered to him, and his face blurred right before my eyes when tears filled my view. “I’m scared.”

“Kushina,” he started, pressing his forehead into mine as he adjusted his hold on me, his eyes meeting mine with mutually shared wetness, “you will feel that a lot in your life. You will also be lonely, angry, sad, and especially uncertain. You will question your actions and you will reflect on the life you have lived. You will want to change things, important things. But you will also feel so many wonderful things. Happiness, joy, excitement. Most importantly—and I want you to never forget this—you will feel _love_ , and you will feel these things because you are going to live a long, prosperous life. You will be strong, respected, and a part of something bigger than yourself. I know this to be true, Kushina, because you _are_.”

I couldn’t say a word to his, knowing that sometime soon he would be out of reach and the man that had been with me since my birth would be out of this world. I could only manage a nod before he let me back down, sending me off with a pat to my head.

As soon as I was let go of, I made slow movements to face Mika and Arisa. Pursing my lips tightly to keep in the sobs, I went up to each one of them to wrap my arms around their legs as best I could. Then, I pulled back and shouted out, closing my eyes tightly, declaring, "You guys are the best! I'll come back soon!”

"You better," Mika said in a chiding tone. "Else, I'll come to you and drag you back myself."

"I'll count on it!" I replied with sucking in a breath.

Then, my eyes made their way to meet the tearful gaze of the person I had come to desperately need in my life. Even now, I could recall the long hours we spent together, just talking nonchalantly about everything the world had to offer. I could still see the times we would go to the temple together, or dinners with the entire family. Things like her cooking could have been marked off as just an everyday thing, but now all I wanted to eat forever was her homemade meals. Bitterly, I thought about the little sibling I could have, someone I would never know.

With a low whimper, I lunged into her waiting arms.

" _Mom_ ," I mumbled into my mother's chest as she held me. Still, she couldn't hide her sniffling when we were this close. "I'll be back just in time for my little sister, ne? I'm no liar, Mom. You didn't raise a liar," I whispered into her ear, knowing my voice was shaking just as much as my body and as she was.

"I raised a good girl, didn't I? You're already so grown up, Kushina," She let out a laugh, "You're already doing great things at such a young age. I'm proud, my precious sweet lily."

I had to bite my lip just to withhold the sob that wanted to be set free, "I'll do my best, Mom."

This time when I looked into her eyes, nothing felt better than that. It was bittersweet, just knowing I would never feel this way again. Bittersweet in every way.

Which hurt more? Being left? Or was it leaving?

I decided I didn’t want to know.

"You ready to leave?" Came a stiff voice from behind. I swiveled my head around to see who it was, eyes widening when I saw the hair first and the Hyuuga eyes later.

"Hakuba-san!? You're taking me to Konoha?" I asked, mildly surprised but I guess it was kind of obvious. Uzushio wasn't his home, and he  _was_  the one that had been beside the Hokage this entire time. I hadn’t known he would be here this entire time, but I had overheard someone from the clan had been staying with Grandpa. Apparently only he could be trusted.

Hakuba seemed to grimace, probably realizing that I wasn't a quiet girl, before replying, "That would be an affirmative." Hakuba looked to want to be anywhere but here as I hopped forward, being let down by my mother before I tightly held my nap sack in hand.

I tried to be excited, really. It just wasn't really fun to leave your family.

"We're gonna have lots of fun, Hakuba-nii-san," I decided to call him, feeling whimsical in that moment, reaching out to touch his hand like what was habit. He complied, probably out of pure pity, but looked anything but happy. Kind of like a frumpy kitty.

"Let's have a nice,  _quiet_  trip to Konoha." This was probably the closest he got to begging.

"Un!" I cheered but nothing could take away the blatant agony I felt in knowing that I was walking away from both death...and the only people I ever wanted to die _with_.

I spared only one last glimpse into that, and the image of them all burned into my memories.

**A Clan of Monsters**

“Ichigo,” Kenma started but before he could say anything else, he was cut off by a shrieking scream that seemed to bounce in. Guard set up, he looked around for the source and watched as his brother and his father did the same. It was dinner time, just a few days after he had lost one of the only people that seemed to understand him, and they had been sitting around the table eating rice when they had heard it.

Before long, the three of them stood and ran in the direction it came from. The screaming wasn't stopping, and the people of Uzushio did not scream. They yelled, hollered, anything but scream as they had their pride. So it must have been a child.

The three males sprinted into the forest on the side of their home, following the whimpering voice. At the entrance, Kenma was struck by the scent of it as the air suddenly smelled...smoky. The sea breeze was usually so _strong_ that fires didn’t usually smell this strong. Shoulders stiffening, his eyes skirted over the treetop, letting out a whimper as he looked to an ashen sky, "Look!" he yelled to his father and brother. Yet he was just distracting them as kunai were sent soaring into the air. One was headed straight for him, but his father quickly grabbed hold of his collar, roughly jerking him out of the way.

“Dad..?” Kenma called out, and although he didn’t typically talk to the man—he was usually rather absent, both mentally and physically, from his life—he still had this sense of wanting to be protected by him. He often felt guilty about this weakness in him. Kushina would look down on him for it. She often spoke volumes about how powerful we were, how we could never fall to outside forces.

Kenma was terrified as he followed behind them.

Soon they had come across a fallen body.

Kenma froze, eyes near to bulging when he found the scene to be so gruesome that the face was indescribable and unidentifiable.

Long red hair splayed out across the dirt, being covered in it as the pure color was dyed a dirty brown. The skin around the face was flayed right off, having a _seared_ look to it and the bone beneath looked ashen and _wrong._

He swayed in place before falling to his knees, nose being attacked with scent after scent of smoke, ash, and _blood_. Kenma leaned forward, stomach going to his hand before he couldn’t help himself. Before long, he was retching horribly, the contents of his stomach leaving in a wave. Tears were streaming down his face, and he was hurting. Not physically—there wasn’t a mark on him—but his heart was singing a song that pounded in time with his quickened pulse.

“Kenma, get up, we have to go,” Ichigo said, voice a whisper even as his tone sounded thin and controlled. His twin reached his hands around his ribs to pull the younger boy up by his stomach. He felt heavy, his body sagging and it was a struggle for both of them to get Kenma back to standing.

Feeling weak, light headed, and horrified, Kenma ran with shaky legs as the three of them rushed past body after body. Around them, screaming, yelling, and grunting created a large symphony that told the story about a—about _his_ people dying.

Swallowing thickly, Kenma was rushed and before long, he blinked into the sight of his aunt.

“Satsuki,” his dad started, and his aunt looked haggard, out of breath, and low on chakra, “are we prepared?”

Biting her lip in the way that Kushina often did herself, his aunt nodded, bags beneath her eyes so evident that he could easily believe that she was close to hitting chakra exhaustion.

“I—I, there, um, there isn’t enough room for us all,” she said, breathing out harshly, “Children go first, then the women.”

Kenma’s dad nodded, hand coming to rest on his back, as well as Ichigo’s. Their father pushed them forward and, for the first time in a long time, he looked concerned. With determination in his gaze, his dad walked them down the street that led to the temple.

"What about Mika-san and Arisa-san!?" Kenma yelled, wanting to struggle in order to find them. His voice was ignored while his aunt walked besides them. Her face looked hard, intsense. This was not how Kushina’s mom usually looked like.

As they entered into the temple, he and his brother watched with dumbfounded expressions as Satsuki began to perform hand seals. They were coming into the main room when their jaws went slack, seeing a door slide open beneath the Sage’s feet.

The boys were quiet as they were rushed down the stairs and into a dark room lit up only by torches hanging off of metal hangings.

“This place will be safe,” Satsuki murmured, hand reached down to caress Kenma’s hair, “I’ll be unlocking this next seal and then after that you’ll be brought into the real fort. Only Uzumaki can get in and out.”

Kenma felt nervous and apprehensive as they kept going. The hall continued to slope downwards, and very little was making sense as he went on.

“What’s going on? What’s happened to Uzushio?” he asked, but he doubted an answer would come.

“You’ll be safe,” is all his aunt said before they came to a dead end. Using both a combination of hand seals and a tiny paper seal, the dead end, looking like a slab of rock, lifted up. The boys were pushed through, and Kenma turned just in time to see...to see tears in her eyes.

They landed on their back, and they quietly watched the door close just as fast as it opened.

Kenma felt crushed.

**A Clan of Monsters**

Satsuki breathed out slowly, trying to still the beating in her heart.

Her chakra felt strained, and she was pregnant. She was not a happy woman as she made her way back out of the only safe place on the island.

She need to find her husband.

“Arata-san,” she started, looking to the man that had taken her precious sister away from her in marriage. She was no longer angry, but rather could not begin to start on how thankful she was that her sister had found this man. Only him. It was only him that could design it, taking into consideration all of the things that had kept them hesitant. “Thank you.”

He nodded, but still looked distant in the way that she could understand. Probably stuck in memories, ones from his wife, still trapped in his grief. She could only guess though.

“Will you take over on this?” Satsuki asked, jabbing a finger to the door that kept the children safe.

He nodded again, flicking his hands in a shooing motion. She spared not even a second to thank him before she was up in the air, leaping to the nearest tree. In a way that her daughter had often found the most entertaining thing to watch, she continued to swing from tree to tree, widely turning her head every which way in order to find _him_ —that stubborn bastard of a man she was so desperately in love with.

“Kushiro!” she screamed, only because it was something she could, fearless as her voice mixed in with the sounds of horror around her.

They had been strong—a bite that could heal, seals strong enough to cage an entire being of demonic chakra, chains made up of solidified parts of themselves, and a will to live stronger than anybody out there.

They were being _exterminated_ , as the unified forces of the hidden villages had put it. Because they were strong. Because they were _monsters_.

Rage seeped through her pores in killing intent, her eyes wide and prepared. They would all die. Despite the lack of chakra in her, they would all die. Or _she_ would die trying.

First, however, she needed to find her husband.

Kushiro was where she had expected him to be when she finally felt the hints of his chakra in the air. Stuck in the fray of quickly soaring skuriken and kunai, he moved quickly and dodged every one of them before sending out a wave of his own, hitting shinobi left and right with his deadly accuracy.

It was the sort of thing that had made her father so determined for him to be her husband. Something that had made her rebel even more. But now she thanked her lucky stars for him having the ability to kick ass.

Quickly forming hand signs, she released a primitive yowl, before slamming her hands down.

A hole was formed into the Earth, and her lack of chakra became an obvious strain on her body as she swayed. Quickly, the men and women invading found themselves sliding into the hole before it closed up just as fast as it had shown up.

Kushiro turned to look at her with wide eyes, “Holy shit, Suki.”

She smirked, “I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“I know that, but where did they _go_?”

“A void,” she answered simply and knew the sort of fate they would have. Starving to death, going mad from the lack of _anything_ in something pitch black with darkness, and wishing for anything else. No way out. Not for them.

“Remind me not to piss you off, Suki.”

She grinned, sliding up to him to smack him in the arm playfully, “I love you too much, Kushi!”

Satsuki took small comfort in the kiss they shared after he returned her that same expression.

**A Clan of Monsters**

"What do you think is happening? Why is everything on fire?" Kenma asked, voice desperate for some answers.

"I don't kn—." Ichigo cut himself off as he came to realize. The fire. "It’s the invasion. Uzushio is burning because the other hidden villages are scared of us." It was happening. The day he had feared for the past five years was actually happening. It was  _actually_  happening.

"What?" Kenma asked, confused, "Why would they be afraid? Of us?"

"Because," Ichigo started to explain as he swallowed thickly, "Our fuinjutsu. They don't know our limits or boundaries so they're afraid of the unknown and our power."

"Th-that can't be!" Kenma shouted, "We aren't hurting anybody! We're just protecting ourselves!"

"I’m right," Ichigo said stubbornly.

"How?" Kenma demanded to know.

"Grandfather was talking about it. The hidden villages came up with a unified force to take us down if we didn't reveal our secrets, and of course we didn’t. We’re stubborn and of _course_ they have something to be afraid of."

"That's—!" Kenma couldn't even finish his sentence before he started again, "What about Konoha, did they join with them, too? And what of the Ukai and Sakurai clans? Aren't they helping?" He was thinking of the two other big clans on outlying islands around Uzushio. Although their numbers were smaller, they were also powerful in their own respective ways. They didn't socialize with them much, however, as the schooling systems were separated and the boys usually just hung with the people they had always grown up with.

"They don’t want to be attacked, Kenma. Of course they don’t want to. They’ll lose people on this. As for Konoha, they aren’t taking any more refugees. Someone in the village put a stop to it, someone important. Grandfather kept talking about a man named Danzo Shimura. He thinks that some of that man’s own operatives are here too, but it’s only a suspicion.”

Ichigo felt sick as he went on, like the bile wanted to rise but the only thing keeping it at bay was the  _anger_ , the burning  _desire_ to do something, anything. He couldn’t.

They were quiet for a moment, letting that sink in.

Ichigo wanted to go anywhere but there, he wanted something more for the people he loved. His home was turning to ash and dust right at that second, even if he couldn’t see it. His blood boiled with anger, his nails digging into his skin as he wished _desperately_.

But Ichigo couldn't hide from the truth.

**A Clan of Monsters**

In the midst of all the fighting, Satsuki could only think to do one thing with her weakened form.

Quickly, she ran back into the forest—resolutely finding a different way to fight. She wasn't running away. Her boiling anger and blood would not allow for it. She knew this in her soul as she ducked behind a tree, still having a clear sight of the battle from peering around the edge, as she once again performed the seal to summon the weapons up from the void she had created just for this moment.

Kunai and shuriken rose up from the grass in front of her eyes, her hands snatching them just as they came into sight. Wasting no time in her thoughts, she grabbed them and threw, with all her might and accuracy. Aiming at the enemy shinobi, she mutely watched as she hit a man directly in the jugular.

An odd sense of pride hit her then, the joy of having protected her family, her village. But behind that was shame and a raw feeling of guilt. She had just killed a man, ruining his chances at a life, just like the ones she was so desperately protecting at the cost of her own.

That last thought, however, quickly vanished as she watched the invading shinobi go into the battle to kill and murder the innocent people of Uzushio, her clansmen. If they could do it, she could too. And she would—with no regrets.

She cast the seal again, and threw the next five weapons that appeared, marveling over her deadly accuracy as each one hit shinobi in the throat, skull, or back. She almost felt like she was making a difference, defeating the guilt of being useless after very nearly passing out from chakra exhaustion.

Instead, more shinobi appeared, replacing the fallen men.

It was all useless, it felt, as if Uzushio was losing.

With a cry, and wide violet eyes, she noticed Kushiro being attacked, surrounded. She saw red at the sight, but she would never forget the look on his face, the raw determination, the fire to fight and...the acceptance that they would die.

She wouldn't let that happen.

As fast as she could, Satsuki poured her chakra into the drawn seal, conjuring the kunai once more before she grasped all ten that had appeared. She had never done this before, throwing more than three things at once. In theory, she knew what to do. In practice, she didn't know how to hold her hands. But time was wasting. So with little concern for herself and her skills, Satsuki tossed them, surprising even herself when she hit all but one attackers that threatened her husband.

That's right. It wasn't time to give up yet.

**A Clan of Monsters**

War wasn't quiet most of the time, and that much was obvious. But one would never think there would be that moment of silence, when everything seemed okay and _unreal_. One would never think that this moment of silence was actually only a prelude to something much,  _much_ worse. One also didn’t think that their best friend would die in their arms.

When they finally took back a section of Uzushio, the remaining survivors had come out to check on the wounded, Satsuki included, as she kneeled in front of a coughing, panting woman. Her face was masked with burns, red, fraying with black, smoked edges but her eyes were still a bright gold, so familiar she could imagine these eyes belonging to someone she has loved her entire life.

This unidentifiable woman looked at Satsuki and smiled, revealing a tell-tale crooked grin that had Satsuki’s stomach dropping to the very pit. Her breath caught and she choked, something in her beginning to hurt before she could even let another word slip out of her mouth.

"What a turn of events, Suki! We always did say we’d be together in death." The woman laughed but even that sent her into an unfair coughing fit, resulting in obvious agony as her burns moved around her face.

"Don't speak, Mika," Satsuki murmured, eyes welling up with tears, "Blink twice for no, and once for yes. Are you in pain?"

"Don't be silly, sister," Mika replied, "I'm so healthy I'll be back up in just as min...ute." An obvious lie that had Satsuki’s heart breaking in something that was made audible when a sob slipped through her lips. An obvious lie that had Mika's eyes growing dim, " Yo...u...know..."

"Mika, don't!" she cried, wanting her best friend to just shut up and get better. Desperately, she even went to place her wrist in her mouth, but was pushed away.

"Listen...Satsuki,...we... Are... Uzumaki...and...we...never...give up."

She nodded, "That's right. We just keep getting up, now don't we? So just bite, _bite_ me, please. _Please_." The tears were dripping down her cheeks, dripping onto the tattered clothing that used to have been the apron she put on right before work.

“Is that—” a voice behind her rang, right before being cut off with a gasp and then, “ _Mom!_ ”

Arisa came forward, eyes wide and shoulders shaking, before she collapsed onto her mother’s body with a loud sob, “ _Mom!_ ”

“Ari-chan,” Mika gave a gentle laugh, “baby, it’s already fine. I just wanted to say—.”

“No, _shut up!_ ” Arisa screamed outright, tears streaming down her face as it dribbled onto her mother’s clothing. “I won’t leave you, I won’t leave Uzushio. I’ll stay, Mom, I’ll stay and take over the shop like you wanted. Then I’ll get married, and have lots of kids, got it? I’ll be here, _with you_. So, please, please, god don’t let this be real.” Her voice was frantic, speech quick and nearly unintelligible before being halted by Mika’s hand touching her forehead.

“Ari-chan, listen to me. I want you to go traveling.”

“But—.”

 “Go meet the world, my flower, go see everything you can and when we meet again—,” she halted, coughing violently before forcing out the words, “ _tell me about it all then_.”

“No,” Satsuki and Arisa breathed simultaneously.

“Bite me,” Satsuki tried again, “Let’s not give up, Mi-chan!”

"That's...right," Mika whispered, voice weak as she cleared her throat. With a strange burst of energy that really wasn’t all that strange, her eyes sharpened, "I know you will never give up, Satsuki...you never have, but I…I’m different, it’s already too—" She breathed in, shuddered, and then her eyes just…

Satsuki looked away, doing her best to wipe away the tears that just wouldn't stop falling, before reaching her hands out to hold Arisa in her arms.

_"I'm sorry, Mika. I'm so, so sorry, Mika."_

Her words fell only to dead ears.

**A Clan of Monsters**

After everything was all said and done, my trip to Konoha was uneventful.

Aside from the pain, of course.

When would it happen? How much pain would my family have to endure? I was still leaving behind my home, even if this home would be no more soon. Then again, Uzushio wasn’t mine to have—it was Kushina’s. That was something I had to remind myself every time I felt entitled to stay. Although, it’s not like they could force me to stay in Konoha forever, I would come back sooner or later to see how the ruins looked and how the wildlife was doing.

That sent a pang through my heart as I clutched the picture of them to my chest.

I sighed, feeling comfort from just touching it, as I tried to keep up with the long strides of Hakuba. Surprisingly enough, a lot of our journey was done on foot, and not on the horses I expected to get on after the boat ride to the main land. It turned out that, as we spent the next four days either sleeping up in a tree or walking through the forests, Hakuba had a very keen sense of direction. He was never lost, it seemed.

Well, he never used his Byakugan, that’s for sure.

It was particularly tasking for me on the first day, but by the second day, it was easier. Most likely because the first was mostly mountains and the second day was mostly going downhill.

Either way, Hakuba made for a crabby traveling partner.

He seemed to disapprove of my manners, even as I tried to keep respectful and polite. It was just hard after spending so much time with loud voices and impolite speech. He was especially appalled with how I ate food, but I had no clue on why. In Uzushio, we never used a lot of utensils. It would just cost too much to import from the main land, so we usually ate with our hands. Even in Mika’s shop it was like that. You paid extra for any silverware.

By the third day, I was still trying to get comfortable with the metal chopsticks he gave me.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew how to eat with chopsticks, but they were usually wood because metal was expensive.

Besides, who on Earth wanted to eat with such slippery things? I’d lost count on how often the chopsticks fell out of my hands and to the dirty ground, causing Hakuba’s face to pale. That was pretty funny, I guess, but what the funniest thing about Hakuba was his hair, how strangely short it was.

I still couldn’t get over it. Was it a choice or had he been attacked?

The question haunted me.

On the fourth day, we reached Konoha, which a lot less lackluster than I thought it would be.

Although, I had never seen a man so relieved to get away from such a pretty girl as he quickly left me with the chuunin at the gates. At the joke in my head, I chortled with laughter and didn’t even care when the chuunin looked lost on what to do with me, gazing at me as if I had lost my sanity.

“Poor thing, must be from having spent too long with Hyuuga-san.”

“Yeah,” agreed the second chuunin but I just shook my head.

“Hakuba-san is just funny is all,” I explained.

The two of them shared glances as the first one repeated under her breath, “Poor thing.”

After much talk and debate, the second guy, Jun, was the one who agreed to take me to the Hokage’s office while the other one stayed to keep diligent watch on the gates.

Before long, we came to the door as the chuunin knocked down and before long, the Hokage called us in, voice easily crossing the distance. Even from having prior knowledge on who he was, and having met the guy, I was still taken aback. He looked younger in this lighting and his voice was heavier than from what I remembered.

It was a bit off-putting too, the look in his eyes. It was colder than I expected.

“Kushina Uzumaki,” he started off with.

“At your service, dattebane,” I said with a nod, nervously hoping his eyes would move away. Thankfully, they did as he referred to the chuunin.

“You may head back to your post.”

“Yes,” the boy bowed before promptly leaving, looking slightly unsettled. So the man had that effect on everybody here, I suppose. I guess his kindness from earlier must have been an act to get an easier Kushina to come without a fight to Konoha. I couldn’t help but feel a pressing disappointment.

“Welcome to Konohagakure,” Hiruzen said to me as his lips came to smile. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, still feeling completely petrified. It seemed unfair that they do this to me, at the measly age of seven. I half wished that the chuunin had stayed.

“Do you require an explanation as to why you’re here?”

I shook my head, “I’m going to be Mito-sama’s replacement as the Jinchuuriki.”

“Have you come to terms with this?”

“No,” I said honestly, fighting the desire to run and hide from the man’s gaze. His gaze was what I had thought Danzo Shimura’s would be like and if the Hokage was this way, I could only imagine what _he_ was like.

“No?”

“I’m giving my life away. It’s not an easy thing to come to terms with,” I started, attempting to explain it, “I’ll be feared and my life will be dramatically changed… _However_ , I wanted to make a deal with you.”

His brows shot up, “A deal?”

“If I comply with everything I’m told to do, I wish to visit my family when it’s acceptable for me to do so.”

Hiruzen seemed to pause in thought, eyes trailing all over my face as if to search for any hidden meaning. After a slow second, he nodded, “This request is tolerable. If you comply, I’ll have you return to visit your family.”

I nodded, swallowing thickly before breathing out a sigh, “So, when do I meet Mito-sama?”

“Right now,” Hiruzen smiled, and for the first time, it was actually a real one.

Ah, so he does have it in him.

His gaze traveled to look behind me and that’s when I met the gaze of the most beautiful yet oldest woman I had ever laid eyes on.

Like from my past life’s memories, she was definitely aged—wrinkles and liver-spots galore—yet she carried this air of youth, the Uzumaki blood burning brightly. Her eyes were sharp, like gemstones, and her hair was tied very neatly into two side buns as the rest of her hair cascaded down her waist. Her red hair had become less vibrant as the gray had made its way in, but she was still very beautiful. It didn’t help that when she smiled at me, it was the most genuine smile to a stranger that I had ever seen. I couldn’t fathom why, but she came forward, only to hug me tightly.

“Ah! How was your trip, Kushina-chan?” She asked, treating me as if I were her own flesh and blood. Like a granddaughter. I blinked but nodded.

“It was very fun. Hakuba-san is interesting.”

“Did you pull pranks on him?” She asked, excitement clear in her eyes, but her chiding voice seemed to mask it, “Although, if you ask me, Hakuba-kun needs to live a little,” she had whispered in my ear and I found myself giggling like a school girl.

“I agree,” I whispered back, before saying in a louder tone, “I resisted with all my might and made it the entire trip fighting my whims. I can’t promise for when I see him next, ‘ttbane!” I exclaimed.

“I’ll have to teach you some tricks to behaving then, won’t I?” Mito winked, smiling down at me mischievously.

I took comfort in that. Mito was an Uzumaki through and through.

**A Clan of Monsters**

Days. Weeks. _Months._

They kept fighting, and more forces kept coming until a moment came—until a deal was met.

“We’ll share our secrets,” not all of them, “we’ll submit,” never, “and our ability to have a shinobi class will be taken away from us with only our fuinjutsu left.” Un-fucking-likely.

They just had to wait for the time where they were strong enough to take it all back—for now it was better than being dead—but one day…one day.

Satsuki just knew that there was a better future to look forward to.

**A Clan of Monsters**

Mito was a very kind person most of the time, but a very scary person when you got on her nerves. Although I can’t speak about the latter as I’d never seen her angry, I saw how everyone around her seemed to tiptoe, _waiting_.

Despite what I heard when I eavesdropped for more information, I always felt so warm and safe in her presence and she was never anything but kind and supportive as I suffered through adjusting to life in Konoha. For one thing, everyone was quieter than what I was used to and more subdued.

When I brought it up to Mito all she said was, “I thought it was strange at first, too. But over time you realize that the Uzumaki are just built differently than the rest and that these people are all still good. They’re just not as outwardly passionate, they keep it on the inside.”

I had nodded, just to somehow impress her, “I get it, but it’s still kind of creepy.”

After all, it wasn’t a feeling I could help.

If another person was in the room—and this happened too often for my taste—they were usually so quiet I wouldn’t even notice until they either called my name or touched my shoulder. It was as bad as a jump scare in a video game. Every time I brought up things like that, she would usually just laugh and comment about how ninja were like cats and how I’ll get used to it eventually when I joined the Academy in Konoha.

The Academy.

I sigh every time I think of it. Mi—Ugh, I couldn’t even think his name.

I wished I could just stay with Mito like I was now, taking my lessons from her. Mito was a very good teacher too. She was diligent like Mom and fun like Jurata. In fact, as she continued my calligraphy, she’d even taught me the shorthand of her own creation to keep her scrolls and fuinjutsu private and safe. When I asked why I was trusted with knowing her codes, she just shook her head and said something I’m sure I’ll never forget.

“Kushina-chan, I regard you as my own next of kin, for all intents and purposes. You see, we will share a special bond, you and I. One that can only be shared with other Jinchuuriki. The pride, the responsibility, and the hardships, _that_ is what makes our role so important. I want you to never be ashamed of what you are. I want you to live as a ninja that shocks the world, and one that is respected for the weight you carry as an Uzumaki Jinchuuriki.”

I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry as I moved even further into her warmth, arms wrapping around her waist as my tears were kept at bay from sheer force of will.

“Oh, Kushina-chan, never doubt that you _are_ loved.”

“Thank you,” was all I could say in that quiet moment between us as our breathing and heartbeat took over for us.

She’d also been the one to inform me…about Uzushio.

A village ransacked with war, nearly the entire population had been decimated—save for a few hundred of souls lucky enough to have been either expertly hidden or ones strong enough to survive.

The list of fallen had yet to come out, as reports still came in by way of snail mail, but apparently there was a woman. Someone striking a deal. It was right there that I tried my best to think of nothing about Uzushio—it was painful and unfair.

If I had known that a _war_ would be taking place on my island home then…

I would still be powerless.

Shaking my head of the thoughts, I looked into the present.

Now, Mito was flitting about, admiring her handy work as she gazed at the outfit she’d made for my first day at school, which would be tomorrow.

It was _exactly_ as I recalled it from the manga.

And as she ushered me into trying the outfit on, I had to admit that it almost felt sacrilegious—not that Kushina or her Academy outfit was an object or person of religion. Yet in a way they were...to me, at least.

In my past life, I could now remember humorously that I had been known for the shrines I made in honor of my favorite Naruto characters. Print out pictures posted the walls, wallscrolls, and other various merchandise to be had. It probably accounted for why I couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt over wearing it and looking just as Kushina had on her first day of school.

Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the feeling, tugging nervously at my long bright red hair.

I had to do something.

I had to be…I _had_ to be different.

Quicker than when Mito could recognize what I was doing, I grabbed her scissors and without a second of hesitation, I chopped a chunk of hair off. The long hairs floated to the ground, making their way slowly, shimmering in the light in a moment filled with my breathing and pounding hear.

The guilt didn’t disappear.

I’d made a grave mistake. It was almost like cutting Kushina’s beloved hair was seven worse than wearing her clothes. But I wanted it to be different. I wanted this to be _my_ hair. I wanted this to be _my_ clothes. I wanted Mom and Dad to be _mine_.

I wanted to forget I knew otherwise—I wanted to be… _me,_ without pressure to be _her._

Mito just stared at me in quiet shock before she took the scissors out of my shaking hand, gently saying, “If you wanted a haircut, you could have just said so.”

“Mom wears her hair short,” I mumbled softly, feeling like a criminal and miserable. I couldn’t met her eyes, but Mito somehow knew. Her arms came around to embrace me, her lips dipping in to kiss my forehead before she went on to send her fingers through my hair and back.

A sob slipped through my lips as I rubbed my face into the crook of her neck. She smelled like the sea and mangos—something Mom had smelt like too. An Uzumaki trait.

I wanted to go home but I did not say it.

“I see,” Mito replied with calmly, pulling away slowly with a sympathetic smile on her face before she titled the scissors to my hair. “I’ll give you something cute, to match who you are.” Then, starting to hum a soft, calming melody, she got to work fixing my— _Kushina’s_ ruined hair.

With each lock of hair gone as it got shorter and shorter, it felt like a newer punch to the gut. How could I...? _I’m sorry, Kushina, I’m so sorry._

She was not here to yell at me, however.

In the end, Mito cut it so that it ended just a little bit above my shoulders before narrowing her eyes in thought, biting her own lip. Letting out a soft voice saying, “Ah! I know what’s missing,” the Uzumaki woman then walked a little bit away as she reached into a tiny nap sack that was decorated with seals despite holding no chakra. She pulled out two hair pins and walked back to me and with a definite plan in her head, she pinned my bangs to the side, using both of them to contain my thick vibrant red hair.

“This way, you can face your classmates with pride in your Uzumaki heritage,” Mito grinned widely, giving a small laugh, “because these pins were given to me by my mother. I’d like for you to keep them, and if you ever have a daughter, I’d love for you to pass it down to her,” Mito nodded to herself, seemingly pleased with this fact, “It would be a shame to hide those beautiful violet eyes and an even greater shame if you thought they weren’t.”

“You’re the greatest Grandma ever,” I mumbled before I checked myself, “I m-mean, you’re not old—.”

“Grandma? Hmm, has a nice ring to it, ne? I wouldn’t mind you calling me that.”

I froze for a second before launching myself into her side, “Grandma, I love you!”

“I love you too, Kushina.”

**A Clan of Monsters**

I stood in front of the thirty-three faces of the monsters I’d be going to school with for the rest of my Academy days.

My new teacher, Ruta Biru, was even forcing me to introduce myself to the entire class by myself. By _myself_.

A special place in hell should be made for people who did stuff like that. No matter how you looked at it, the self-introduction could literally make or break my social life, and in Kushina’s case, it totally broke. There was nothing stopping that from happening to me. Except, I was not without preparation. Mito had been kind enough to cook me breakfast this morning and as we enjoyed it together, Mito asked about my plans for my ‘big day’.

I’d simply told her that the plan was to stay out of trouble.

“You’re real plan should just to be yourself,” she had said and it suddenly clicked why Kushina had been so defensive and blunt. It was simply who she was at that time. Defensive because she was seen as an outsider, and blunt because Uzumaki were too impatient to doddle around riddles or rules. But as for me, I didn’t even really know who I was at this point. Was I my past self? A girl who I couldn’t even recall the name of? Or was I actually Kushina? Both were wrong.

I wasn’t that old girl any more. Yet I wasn’t Kushina either, at least not the real one. No, I was someone in the middle. A somewhat brash, yet polite, loud, yet quiet and sincere, yet mischievous girl. I guess I was made of so many contradictions to help me find who I really was. At least, that was what I made out of it. So I followed Mito’s advice and went for it.

Or was going to.

Before I said anything at all, I found myself doing looking at the familiar chubby cheeked boy whose hair defied the theory of gravity.

It was all so real in that moment, as my eyes widened.

A kind smile, widened serene blue eyes, reddened cheeks, and a gray hoodie to boot.

This was the man, currently _boy_ , who would become the future Hokage, the man who would stop a war, and the man who Kushina married and loved. He was the father of Naruto, a game changer in this life of mine. A thought to deliberate on. A person I didn’t know, but would soon enough.

He just stared curiously at me back and I suddenly wanted to run to the hills as fast as I could.

 _Holy shit,_ I had to stop and think, _what the hell am I going to do_?

“A-Ahh,” I started as I felt Minato’s gaze burn into my forehead. It honestly wasn’t his fault, obviously just sizing up the new girl, but actually _all_ of it was his fault. That wasn’t good and my body felt it. I thought I was going to throw up as I gave up on thinking, and shouted at the top of my lungs in a sudden and desperate outburst, “I’m Kushina Uzumaki, ‘ttebane!” My voice was too loud and I heard sniggers echoing through the class. I felt dizzy as I replied back to the laughter in a yell, “Huh, you all want to fight!? I’ll totally win, you know, because one day I’ll be the first female Hokage, ‘ttbane!”

Uh. What the—.

Did I really just say that? _Really?_ It was the only thing my hazy brain could come up with as I did my best to avoid looking at Minato. The only thing that I could manage to force through.

Oh, to be back with Mito in her safe, comfy room.

“Ne, looks like Namikaze-kun has some competition,” One brat in the back of the room said.

I would have murdered him if I could as I watched the entire class burst out into hearty laughter.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Minato just simply smiling and almost lost it as I yelled, “I’m serious, ‘ttebane!”

It was so hard to think. So hard to even begin on what I actually felt in that moment but I was getting pissed off. I was getting _angry_ because I was being treated just as I had treated the outsiders on my island in the past. I was _not_ among them. I was not going to have friends here.

I would be alone.

But Hokage? It was the sort of dream Naruto had wanted to achieve for the same reason Kushina had—recognition, love, family.

I didn’t want that here, however. I wanted _my_ family. I wanted _my_ home.

“Ah, she looks like a tomato!” One boy hollered out and I nearly saw red.

How dare he call Kushina a tomato?

No matter how delicious they were, that was an insult I couldn’t dare let slide. Years of living with the Uzumaki has taught me to never pass up a challenge. So I used the technique Mito had taught me a few days ago. Even with short hair I could pull it off perfectly.

Infusing chakra into my hair, I charged them up and didn’t even need to feel for gravity defying tendrils of red hair. I could see the kid’s reactions of a mixture of fear and confusion as I hissed out, “Is that a challenge? Because I will take any of you on and win!”

I knew I could too. I fought with the toughest boys in my class all the time. Spars occurred daily in Uzushio for the sake of maintaining a reputation to be feared and acknowledged. _That’s_ how things were done in Uzushio. Not here, but I was not _from_ here. They had made that obvious enough.

Safe to say, that my self-introduction was a mess and my new teacher recognized it. Openly, he sighed. I wanted to sigh too, knowing I had done exactly what I had planned to avoid.

“Class, that’s enough. Kushina-chan, go sit next to Minato Namikaze-kun.”

**A Clan of Monsters**

“I’m home!” I called into the silence as I entered the very traditional house that Mito lived in. Being that it was the Senju clan home, as she was an adviser to the head of the clan and the widowed wife of Hashirama, it was obvious that she would live in prosperity. It was probably because of that, that the Senju clan had actually been fairly pleasant to me. Actually, from the way the family treated Mito, it like she Senju _was_ a Senju and not an Uzumaki. I didn’t really mind that but nothing could convince me that Mito was even-tempered like her husband’s family.

She was too sneaky with her pranks, I guess.

“Ah, welcome home!” Mito said, her energy high as she came to embrace me after peering out of the room furthest away in the long hallway, “How was school today?”

I bit my lip, considering telling her the truth, before I relented after looking into her eyes, “It was horrible!” I declared, “Someone said I looked like a tomato!”

“Tomatoes are delicious,” Mito admitted but snickered, “but even you don’t look like a tomato. I’d say you resemble a habanero pepper above all else.

 “That’s what I thought,” I agreed, a giggle coming forth as I tightly embraced Mito.

“Anything else happened to make it a horrible day?” She asked, her voice laced with curiosity.

“I messed up on my self-introduction, Grandma,” I said, shoulders sinking in defeat, “I messed up really bad.”

“How bad?”

“I said I would be the first female Hokage...” I mumbled quietly.

“Hmm,” Mito sounded thoughtful before she finally said, “I think that’s the perfect position for someone as tough and strong as you.”

I grinned, “You think?”

_Actually, now that I thought about it…_

“I do. I know you would make an excellent Hokage. And what an honor it would be to be the first female!”

“But,” I pouted, “there was this other boy who says the same thing.”

_How different would the world be if I had that sort of power…?_

“What’s he like?” Mito patiently asked as she led the two of us into the kitchen for snacks.

“He’s like...weird,” I settled on, “He’s quiet and I don’t think he has parents but he’s nice to everyone and patient.”

_Would it change the fate of others?_

“And that’s weird?” Mito snorted.

“Yeah!” I cheered, “I think he’s best in the class right now too.”

“Ah!” Mito exclaimed, “What a wonderful rival then. Fitting, for the best kunoichi in the village! So what’s the boy’s name?”

_Would it do any good at all?_

“His name is Minato Namikaze. He’s blonde with really pr-big blue eyes.” Best not to compliment him too much.

“Not with as pretty eyes as you have,” Mito grinned down at me, picking up on everything I wanted to keep hidden as she handed me a stick of dango, “I made these myself.”

I quickly ate the first ball on the stick, eyes wide, “This is really good, Grandma!”

“I’m glad you like it,” Mito said, taking a bite out of her own dango, “Now, how about we go about learning some seals?”

“Yes!” I whooped, getting excited to be learning from the greatest seal master in the world, “With your help, I’ll be the best Hokage ever!”

“Of course!”

I think I found my new goal.

I’m literally going to become the Hokage.

**A Clan of Monsters - End**


	4. Chapter 4

**Fire Flower**

**_4_ **

Minato had thought the day would be a normal one when he had come into class that day.

Even in that moment he would have no idea the sort of meaning it would contain at a later date—he would never know the sort of change it would have in his life, in everything he held close and dear.

Simply no clue that it was fate, the moment she walked into the classroom and met his eyes.

It was almost instantaneous and his first impression was that he perhaps had laid his eyes on the prettiest looking one in the entire class. Her skin just simply looked so smooth to the touch, white in sharp contrast to the vibrant hair. A color he’d never honestly seen flow or shine in such a manner, sent something like glinting fire across his eyes every time she decided to move. It was cut into a bob—which he honestly had to say did not suit her the way long hair might have—but no one could deny that this girl, probably his age, could not be taken as anything but a thing of beauty.  Not to mention how her violet eyes, so vivid in color he had to do a double take, flashed with shock upon meeting his own.

She seemed to stumble over her words, and the classroom chittered at seeing the pretty girl flounder. Even now he could sense the envy in the air, and his eyes flitted to the side of the room crowded with the kunoichi. They looked on with curiosity, but a few looked dark with expression.

“I’ll be the first female hokage, ‘ttebanne!”

Her voice broke into thoughts and it was then that he finally took _real_ notice in her.

Some eyes flashed to his position but he didn’t physically acknowledge them. He was too focused on the way her eyebrows were set on her forehead, the tightness around her eyes and the clenching of her fists and jaw.

Kushina Uzumaki, she had said.

“Ne, looks like Namikaze-kun has some competition,” Shigeru said, his voice familiar in the way that it grated against his ears. The other boy always did speak up first—often Minato wished he hadn’t.

This case was no exception, especially when Kushina tilted her face up to his once more, eyes filled with a mixture of anger and sadness. He was tempted to speak up, and his hand went up to put some form of a stop to everything but he was beat by the next voice.

It was her.

“I’m serious!” Yet she did not seem genuine in her words, sounding filled with panic and desperation. Her cheeks began to turn red, her cheeks puffing up, fists tightening up.

“Ah, she looks like a tomato!”

Minato nearly choked on his spit, and couldn’t say anything else because he could not unsee what had come to mind at the words.

She looked cuter, seeming to be an impossible feat, and that hair cut almost seemed to accentuate the appearance. Her cheeks were considerably fuller in look than what he would imagine her with long hair would look like.

“Is that a challenge?” Kushina screeched out, taking a step forward that reverberated in the classroom. This was right before her hair seemed to take a life of its own, sending out waves of movement through the short strands. “I’ll take any of you on and win!”

At that point, Minato didn’t doubt it. Chakra in the hair? Definitely a level of control most kids in his class could never come close to.

She wanted to become Hokage?

Honestly, he couldn’t see her holding such a title, as she looked every bit as a miniature wreck but Minato had never been the type to take dreams away from others.

He would be earnest in how he treated her. Perhaps he could learn something from her, if that were the case.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

The next day in class, I found myself sitting bored in it, twiddling my thumbs as Ruta pretty much retaught everything I’d already learned in Uzushio. The only thing different was the addition of brain washing in the form of talking about how great Konoha was. Which is something that went by the others, probably because I would forever be the outsider.

Talks of how great something was, even as I already knew to it be false, were sort of ridiculously easy to spot for what it was.

I yawned, scratching at my cheek before looking over to the only one who seemed to be just as bored—the very boy sitting right next to me.

In the corner of my eye, I watched as he solved math problems in his text book, creating them and solving them in an unending cycle of scratching sounds on the pulp. It was almost humorous in an odd sort of way, but when I saw he was completing problems even _I_ had issues with, there came a hint of annoyance along with the curiosity.

I deliberated on what to do, knowing I had to do _something_ or I’d go insane.

Nibbling on my lip and inwardly growling at the blonde, I opened my textbook to clear page. Then, hinking of the hardest problem I could and writing it down, I shifted it over so he could see. Minato looked at me inquisitively, eyes filled with questions before copying the problem onto his own paper and solving it in just a mere matter of seconds. He looked up, smiling broadly as if he had thought I was trying to make friends.

I openly scowled, darkly narrowing my eyes to slits before pursing my lips so thin they ached.

With a scrunch to my brows, I set out to make an impossible solve.

It took me a few minutes, but when I finally created it, he was already waiting with open eyes, and the cycle of before only went on to be repeated as he easily completed what seemed like—to me—an impossible math problem.

I studied his answer, almost thinking he made it up.

So I wrote on my paper, a tad bit put off, _Can you show me how you did that?_

Instead of outright replying, he just rewrote the problem out and explained each step he took in great, unnecessary, detail.

I blinked, realizing with dawning horror that the boy was some sort of math genius. Smarter than me, surely, and with a noticeable leg up for the Hokage cloak.

My frown deepened as I looked to my paper, preparing for a deep lengthy discussion in my head about ways to approach becoming better with the skill. I was just about to get lost when I felt myself jump.

 _You know,_ I wrote onto his own paper, as I moved closer to him, _being good at math isn’t one of the traits to become Hokage._ I added a frown-y face with determination filling me before continuing with an angry scrawl, _I’ll become the first female Hokage. Just you watch!_

It was a bit stupid, honestly, but the feeling of wanting to hit something did not want to leave. I felt my right leg jostle with the pent up energy, and I even began to restlessly hit my pencil against my wrist. Juts for good measure, I scooted a tiny bit away, trying hard to keep my eyes on the bored and our shared teacher. With straying eyes, and a deeply rooted agitation, I secretly studied his face as he read my message.

Carrying the tiniest of smiles, he returned the favor by shifting his body to fit in closely, his arm rubbing up against mine before he grabbed my journal, pencil poised to start writing.

I leaned away while he did so, trying not to notice the way his body heat crept through his hoodie to spread its way up my skin, raising the small hairs before I felt him leave too quickly. Too slow, I mean.

Grinding my teeth down, I slapped the invading hairs away from my face before coming to loom over the paper, noticing the gentle curve to his writing, the wispy lines that looked so unlike my ruthless shorthand, it was pitiful.

_I’ll cheer you on, if you cheer me on._

He could probably be a better sealmaster—no, no, he would not learn to become that. It was _me_ that had that particular upperhand.

Wasting not even a second, I replied by whispering into his ear, unwilling to face his writing anymore, as I did my best not to be overheard, “May the best one win.” My lips brushed past him for such a strange second that it was with horror when I pulled away.

Near seething, I slammed my book closed and promised to rip the pages out later before looking over to tell him off.

I reeled back, nearly cursing when I saw it.

Minato was blushing. _Blushing._

My own face flamed brightly in response, most likely with anger. So gross!

Feeling of dismay and irritation, I cupped my cheeks with my cooler hands and prayed Minato would leave me alone.

He did, going back to his stupid math problems and never leaving them until the class ended.

Unfortunately, Ruta wasn’t our taijutsu teacher, which ultimately ended the silence between us.

He just taught us the things for the written exam and the intellectual sort of things that Minato did so well at. Kurosawa Hajime, a middle aged woman with a strict regime, took care of the taijutsu training for the entire grade. If was an honest one, I would admit she was pretty scary, but she was sincerely trying to get us prepared for the worst—and this was something only a few in the class realized.

Much of the time I could overhear complaint after complaint, and rude rumors where it concerned the dark haired woman. Personally, I was totally okay with her and the teaching methods she used, thinking that she resembled Satsuki a little in that nature, but that was in the past, I vowed.

Today was sparring day, to showcase all we had learned in class, and being as I had only been in school for two days, I only had my clan’s fighting techniques.

I had excelled in my last school, having been only second to Ichigo and even then, I had been able to beat him on the rare occasion that I was motivated. But here, Kurosawa had been appalled when she saw me practicing the katas of my clan. It seemed she was absolutely hell-bent on wanting all girls to fight like girls; defensive, smooth, and clever.

Apparently I was too boyish, fighting with my weight instead of working on my evasion skills. With instinct, I moved like a shadow, Ichigo had said, coming in for attacks and slamming them in instead of waiting. I liked to use my flexibility, my slight stature and speed for making my foes endlessly surprised.

She said I wasn’t strong enough for that sort of style, claiming my bones would soon be frail with my dangerous actions—my body couldn’t keep up with my mind.

But Jurata nor anybody in Uzushio had ever said such things! I was soon coming to be convinced that Uzumaki biology was also different from the norm.

After all, I was comfortable with how I fought, and she couldn’t take away what made me an Uzumaki.

But I did not dislike her for this—in fact I could admire her passion and care.

From the way she spent more time with the girls than the boys, I could tell she held a lot of pride for kunoichi. More so than that, however, she held pride in the fact even with the feminine way of fighting, it could cause even more damage in the long term, wearing down the foe with an unending supply of stamina. She wanted us all to succeed, I felt, and most of all she probably wanted for us the girls to catch up in numbers.

I just wished she gave up on changing me though. She was probably disappointed anyway, but I knew she was much like the will of fire Konoha talked so much of—unrelenting.

Although a tiny part of me could feel grateful that Kurosawa was so dedicated. I was sure that I could learn from her in time, but not a mere two days into my school life.

Over time I was sure to see more teasing, too, by the sound of the voices that followed behind me.

They grew in volume when the names were announced for sparring.

Minato. He was haunting me, I could feel it.

Luckily, we would be the last pair to fight as everyone else in the class watched fight after fight. I was too distracted to even focus on the other kids, but I could at least take in the sounds of the fight; how the feet over grass thundered, the green flying up in the air as the wind swam up to tussle the field as well as my hair. I scraped the hair back from my eyes, irritated by its presence.

It was the only downside to short hair—longer locks weren’t so wild when they were tied up and at this length the only thing that could help was tons of pins.

I released an oath under my breath.

I was in trouble, I realized when my thoughts trailed over to other subjects, my eyes meeting blue ones. I knew literally nothing about his fighting stance or tricks. The only thing I could assume was that he still only knew the Academy taught katas and wasn’t yet under the tutelage of Jiraiya. If it were just that, I could pray he wouldn’t kick my ass, but the idea of me sucking at _another_ thing that he won in left me with scowls and my blood boiling.

By the time is was our turn, the whole class began to laugh, patting at his back in encouragement as he made his way to the ring, where the spar would take place. The goal was to get the someone out of it, with Kurosawa not wanting anyone seriously hurt, and the match being taken by the remaining presence.

Which meant as long as I worked quick enough, I stood at least a decent chance at taking the win.

We both took our stance, and I noted abysmally that my form was largely different to his...and that his wasn’t the one taught at the Academy.

Blowing out a breath just as Kurosawa called the match to start, I leapt forward, hands touching dirt for the barest of seconds before my legs hit home on his stomach.

He sucked in, the sound a hiss to my ears before I used the momentum to catapult myself over his body. With a quick snap, my left leg sprung out and I growled when he jumped up.

Minato looked surprise before his jaw set, hand coming out to make contact.

I easily dodged, ducking down low before bringing my arms to cradle around his knees. It took only a second for him to break, head reaching to caress a blade of grass. Then, to my utmost shock, he pushed off with his hands, forcefully freeing his legs in a manner that ruthlessly knocked at my jaw.

I fell back, doing my best to adjust myself but he held the advantage, fist coming in to knock into my throat.

I coughed, hands reaching out to grasp at dirt and grass, blinking away the sudden blur to my eyesight.

From what I could make of his expression, he hadn’t meant to do that. No doubt he’d put too much power into the punch and not enough accuracy.

When he stumbled back, guilt sweeping over his hooded eyes, I took my chance and sent my foot out.

He dodged my sweeping kick easily and I noticed that even at a young age he was fast. But not as fast as me.

I smirked openly, all teeth bared, finding myself enjoying the good fun before I ducked down, missing the punch he sent toward my jaw, himself leaning too far into it. Using the momentum brought on by his lost balance, I wrenched his legs out from underneath him. He landed on his back with a thick thud.

This time, I didn’t waste any time in pinning him down.

I crawled up his body, using my ankles to keep his legs down, bringing my hands to keep his stuck.

We faced each other silently, only our breath sounding off in between us. Even the classmates were silent, watching on with heavy anticipation.

The pain set in then, my throat and jaw aching and my spread lips closing in a wince. I hissed, looking away to spit out the gathering blood then releasing a sharp growl.

“I’ll show you what a real punch is like, ‘ttebane!” I declared, voice cracking and sounding thin, scratchy. Taking my left hand away, I charged my fist with chakra, easily knocking aside the arm he intended to block with and relentlessly hit him in the gut, laughing carelessly as I did so.

The air whooshing out of him was such a satisfying sound, I took this as my chance to push him out of the circle, using my extra strength to bring him up to stand, although he slouched forward heavily, hand to his stomach and face screwed up in pain.

This had been easier than I had thought it would be...

Minato pushed back, catching me thoroughly off guard as I gave way, the both of falling into a heap. Our eyes met and for the first time I noticed he had a flat out grin on his face, one to match my own. My face flamed just as quickly as I looked away, suddenly lost in what to do. I heard him chuckle before leaning in close to say in my ear, “May the best one win.”

Face even hotter than before, I was suddenly charged with the anger and determination the Uzumaki was known for. I pushed him aside with raw strength, hair waving wildly in the air as I shouted, “I’m only a child!”

Confusion showed on his face but he had crossed the line all the way into harassment in my eyes—never mind the fact that I did it first —and I was thirsty for blood.

 _His_ blood.

Fist charged with chakra, I wordlessly punched him in the face, watching as his nose broke in odd fascination, hearing the crunch in tune with my motions. I swallowed my hesitation, as I  set to charging my entire arms with chakra before I lifted him up and _tossed_ him out of the ring.

“Now,” I deadpanned, panting, face still hot, “ _that_ is how it’s done.”

Minato stood up, noticing he had lost with an unexpected smile on his face, holding his hand out,“The best one won, right?”

My head throbbed, and my jaw sung with unheard curses. Wordlessly, I yanked tissue out of the hidden pocket Mito had added in when I requested it the night before. Then, with all the energy I could muster, I tossed it to him with a muttered, “Clean yourself up, you idiot, ‘ttebane!”

“Ah, thank you,” Minato replied with, touching the tissue to his nose before pulling it back, seemingly surprised there was blood.

“That was a good fight, Kushina-chan. But I would refrain from using chakra next time,” Kurosawa said and I cringed knowing that being chastised would only fuel the bullying. I couldn’t change it even if I tried as I watched all the kids nod to themselves in agreement. They were all gonna team up on me in a group filled with a consensus in hate.

But that was something to be concerned with for another time.

For now, I found myself gazing at the one who would be called Konoha’s Yellow Flash. He was staring at me too, blue eyes wide as if he’d finally come to understand something. I quickly looked away, face red as I did my best to ignore him.

Who knew Minato would be such a weirdo.

**All Part of The Healing Process**

“You’re not joking,” I said, the words not a question but as a statement. Mito was not joking when she had spoken, and her eyes had been firm in telling the truth.

I looked up at her now, eyeing up all the signs that led to her giving me full honesty; her brows were downturned, irises locked on with my own, and her breathing was smooth in the rise and fall. She was so absolutely beautiful in that moment, with the way her unkempt hair fell down to her waist, her dark eyes much like the night I so often prayed to for news like this.

Her expression blurred.

I blinked only once but it was enough for the wetness to fall down my cheeks as the thick tears were joined by more. The sob I released unwittingly was soft in the darkness and, when I threw myself into her arms, it was muffled against her clothes and body heat.

One by one, they left me in a cry that could not be silenced so easily.

“Oh, my sweet lily,” Mito started, her voice sending chills down my back with the eerie nickname I had never told her of.

It sent the memories of my mother’s voice crashing into my head and my voice grew to be impassioned as the words were formed out of my joy, “They’re alive! They’re alive! They’re alive.”

It was a savory mantra I kept dearly in my chest, resounding as I shook in the relief that swept through me.

“Kushina,” Mito started again, and I slowly brought my wet face out from hiding to face her, even as I could not be so quiet, “not all of it is good. There were some...casualties. Your parents are fine, and so are the children, but...you’re mother told me to tell you about Mika as quickly as possible.”

That shut me up.

I looked down to my toes, suddenly nervous about the possibilities, “W-What do you mean?”

 _Please_.

“She...I was told she did not make it out of the invasion.”

I fell to my knees, suddenly feeling weak. Words were gone from mind, absolutely obliterated.

“Kushina,” Mito whispered in my ear after kneeling besides me, looking grim in the red lighting of the room. “Let’s go to the kitchen, okay? We’ll have some tea and I can make us a quick snack if you like.”

“Not right now,” I whispered without thinking, confused on how to feel.

Mika was dead, but my mother and father was still alive.

She helped me to stand before leading me to my bedroom, and as I walked the tears dried on my skin.

When I lay thinking to myself deep into the night, it remained that way.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

“Oi, Tomato!” Taichi, the head of the Bully Kushina Committee—not that it actually has a name to it—hollered, “Be prepared for after class!”

 _As if you’ll be able to catch me in time_ , I snickered to myself before rubbing at the bandage over my chin. Wincing, I refused to acknowledge the eyes that seemed glued to my back.

“Yeah, Tomato,” added Kumai in a thankful distraction, the right hand lackey of Taichi. I hadn’t intentionally learned their names, it just kind of stuck when it’s all I could hear during break times. They were both idiots but they were both _popular_ idiots.

I resisted sighing when I went back to my quiet studying. There wasn’t much else to do besides that in this place when you had no friends. Not that I didn’t already _have_ friends.

Kenma and Ichigo were enough for me.

I paused, expression falling.

“Is something wrong?” Minato asked and whipped around to look at him, glaring fiercely even if I knew he didn’t deserve it. I wiped at my face, checking for the tears. He was doing that weird thing again when he asked me things as opposed to ignoring me like I did to him, “You know, things won’t always be this bad. They just need some time warming up.”

 _I don’t_ care _about them,_ I thought to myself but kept wrapped tightly in my head.

“Should I light them on fire and see if that warms them up?” I inquired, voice so flat you’d never be the wiser that I was kidding. Sort of.

Minato laughed. He _actually laughed,_ “I wouldn’t go as far as to do that.”

“Hmph,” I replied with, promptly going back to looking at my books and attempting to understand them.

It felt like he wanted to say something, what with the way he was gazing at me.

_Please don’t say anything. Please._

When he didn’t, I couldn’t help but wonder why. With pursed lips, I brushed my hair back behind my ears, giving me access at looking at him from the corner of my eye.

He looked transfixed.

 _Why_ did he look that way? I couldn’t even begin to fathom what could do this to him. He was acting so strange!

Feeling self-conscious, I quickly shifted my hair back, just to have something in place so I didn’t have to look at his stupid girly face. The staring didn’t stop, in fact, I only felt it that much more. Fed up, I slammed my pencil onto the desk and turned to him, brows raised, “Yes?’

“Huh? Oh! I, uh, it’s nothing.”

Really? That’s all he had to say? Suddenly, I felt I was dealing with a wimp.

Well, at least he had stopped staring.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

Later that day, as I suffered quietly with boredom and grief, Ruta decided to switch things up, bless his soul, but also damn it because he wanted us to get in partners.

At first, I felt as if Minato would _force_ me to be his, and I would just make do being held hostage. That wasn’t the case. At all. I don’t know why I would think this—I was too prideful to think anything else I supposed.

Fortunately, a shy girl made her way up to him and asked in a sugar sweet voice, “Would you be alright with me being your partner?”

I had a feeling he glanced at me but I was too mortified that I had lost my Plan A. There was no Plan B, and as much as I liked to think otherwise, Minato was truly the only one who might have put up with my bullshit for something like this.

Soon, the class split up one by one, leaving me to my sit by myself and I stubbornly wrote stupid notes in my book as I refused to look up and see their stares.

Laughter echoed in the classroom when Ruta called out to see who lacked a partner, and I was sure they all mercilessly pointed to me. I felt my shoulders draw in, my short hair falling to shroud around my face. I blinked as the page blurred up in front of me, horror dawning as my eyelashes fluttered frantically to clear myself of them.

I could not be seen being weak like this.

 _I hate this, I hate_ them _,_ I thought darkly, wishing I was home in my mother’s arms, wishing I could hear Kenma’s laughter, and feel Ichigo’s hand in my own again. I wanted to hear my father’s voice call out to me, be comforted by his sure words. My mouth was dry, I realized, with a thirst for the lemon tea Mika would make on particularly bad days.

How could I think I wanted to be Hokage when all I ached for was to leave the damn place?

 _I will never be strong enough_ , I realized, the thought biting into my chest deeply.

The laughter grew and so did the pain in my head.

I stood up, pencil clattering to the floor before I darted for the window, shoving a boy to the floor before I flung myself outside, landing on my knees roughly. I wasted no time in standing up, running as fast as I could manage, heart pounding against my ribs.

It was getting hard to be breathe.

“Kushina-san!”

“Leave me alone,” I shouted back, although I had no clue if it carried with the wind or not.

“Let’s be partners! Let’s be partners!” The voice sounded right behind me, and it was familiar. Minato.

Unconsciously, I slowed and regretted it as soon as he tackled me down to the floor, my chin hitting the ground as it sent waves of pain through my nerves. My teeth clacked together harshly, my grunt resounding in a hum. We both panted.

“Kushina-san, are you alright?” Minato asked, sliding off of my back before turning my stiff form over.

It hurt to speak, but I forced it through in a soft rasp, “Why?”

The tears came unbidden. I looked away, eye narrowing on a lone lily far away.

“Why what?”

“Why do you keep bothering me,” I croaked out with, “and why don’t you hate me already?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, “I don’t think you’re someone that should be hated.”

“Classmates,” I pointed out sourly, bringing a hand up to massage at my jaw.

“They don’t know you.”

I scoffed, “and you do?”

At that he went quiet. Then, so softly I barely even caught it, he said, “We share a dream, that’s enough.”

With nothing more to say, I sighed bitterly through my nose before sitting and turning to him with a scowl, “Let’s head back, _partner_.”

**All Part of the Healing Process**

_She’s so dramatic_ , Minato couldn’t help but think, wondering why it looked so hard for her to accept help, or even for her to socialize.

He’s heard things about her, of course. It was nearly impossible to escape—she was literally the talk of the town.

Everyone wondered why she was the only Uzumaki allowed to stay when all the others had been sent back as soon as the legislation appeared. He wasn’t too clear on the details, but Uzushio had apparently been made into a new type of village where it had connections to all of the hidden villages. He had no idea what that meant, but there had been supposed bloodshed, and it supposedly was not with happy connections that the island was being controlled with.

He was too hesitant to ask her anything else, already too glad that she hadn’t outright rejected him out in the field, otherwise he doubted Yuno would be so kind as to take him back after he had pushed her away so carelessly.

As he guessed, his classmates regarded him with new eyes, looking at the way Kushina’s hand clutched at his jacket so tightly—that little detail probably surprised _him_ much more than them. She didn’t look the type to be clingy.

 “Class!” Ruta called the class to attention and he listened curiously, “As everyone looks to be partnered up, we’ll now begin this little experiment.” He looked annoyed, pointedly narrowing his eyes at Minato and Kushina. It was such a strange feeling to be the bad kid for once.

He had to hide the small grin that wanted to rise up, and noted with some humor that Kushina bore a scowl so fierce he was surprised her face didn’t stick like that. Seemed she was used to being considered in such a way.

 “I will be matching up two pair of partners and forming 17 groups,” Ruta continued, “Once in your groups, you guys will choose which pair of partners will be the traitors and the other group will be the loyalists. I will then issue the _reason_ for their treachery to that group only. Today is for planning on how you will play out the traitor’s actions and the loyalist’s proper response and tomorrow is when you will act it out in front of the rest of the class. Now, during your performance, you cannot say the reason, you can hope the audience picks it up by context clues. At the end of the skit, the rest of the class will guess what the reason was.”

Minato couldn’t help but be caught off guard—it wasn’t very often that they did games like this. When indoors they usually focused on math, history, and memorizing the shinobi rules, the outdoors being entirely unrelated to anything but the physicality.

However, Minato was not totally surprised.

It was this type of method that would steer most away from comprising missions, he assumed.

“Taichi-kun and Kumai-kun, you two are with Sayuri-chan and Miyu-chan...” Ruta started, looking down at his bored while looking to the kids. It was with trepidation when the teacher called out her name next to his, “Kushina-chan and Minato-kun, you two are with Shigeru-kun and Yuno-chan.”

He turned to smile at the girl he had insulted, hoping to apologize but was surprised to see her turning her nose up to him. Shigeru was glaring.

“Still happy you chased after me?” Kushina asked, standing beside him, exuding a warmth that used to surprise him. Her hand went to touch his, and when she realized it, her eyes narrowed, a soft oath leaving through her lips.

Perhaps her unusual heat was an Uzumaki trait?

Her skin _was_ particularly sun-kissed, somehow maintaining soft-looking skin with a shade that rivaled most in his class. He had a feeling that she could grow to be much darker, if given the time. Perhaps her skin sucked in the sun’s heat just for this type of effect.

By the looks of it, she had been spending too much time indoors, much lighter than the first day he had met her.

“We’ll be the loyalist,” Minato spoke up as soon as the four of them had gathered in a secluded corner of the brightly lit classroom. “That is, if everyone is okay with that.”

“More like a traitor,” Yuno bit out bitterly, eyes still sharp on the blonde’s face.

“I’m okay with being a traitor,” Kushina started, then the click of her teeth could be heard when she clamped her mouth shut, her eyes filling with regret. Surely she knew how it could be used against her, and he couldn’t help but pity her for it.

She was so… _awkward_ , Minato realized.

If he could make a guess, it would be that she had spent far too long used to the people close by while not ever openly attempting to make friends with strangers.

He bit onto his lip in hopes of taming the smile that wanted to be released. Minato had a gut feeling that he was right—it _would_ explain her, after all.

“We’ll be the traitors then,” Minato heard himself say, matching it with a pleasant spread of his lips.

“Wait,” Kushina murmured, tilting her nose up cutely, “we must be the loyalist, I have changed my mind.”

Her form made it that much more clear about the bandaged covering most of her lower face and the guilt could not be tamed. It was _him_ who had done that to her—and he had recovered with little to no damage done. Even the iryo-nin he visited had explained the punches and kicks landed had been so neatly controlled that only the skin had been damaged, with mild bruising to his inner organs.

Nothing but his nose had bled, and even that had been an easy fix.

He wondered why she didn’t go to the hospital if it looked so bad, but knowing her it was probably because she liked to see him suffer.

He hated how easily she seemed to manipulate him.

“Stop changing your mind,” Yuno snapped.

“Yeah, do you wanna be yourself or do you want to play pretend as a someone loyal?” Shigeru directed this to her, and Minato blinked at the odd vehemence. His sneer did not help matters any.

Kushina growled in the way she did that reminded him how utterly wild she was, “I am _loyal_.”

Her voice sent shivers down his spine, ringing of truth and the desperation for it to be known.

“Yuno-chan, Shigeru-kun,” Minato started, attempting to break up the bad vibes, “it might be better if we flipped a coin.”

“I call heads,” Kushina declared, hands coming to grasp at his shoulder, shaking him in her barely hidden excitement.

Smiling vaguely, Minato reached into his pocket to pull out one of his ryo, “That leaves tails for you.”

Quickly, Minato flicked it straight up into the air.

Ruta-sensei came around then, a small grin on his face, “So who is play the traitors?”

The glimmering coin landed in the blonde’s palm before he held it up to Ruta cheekily.

“I win!” Kushina cheered, jumping up into the air, giggling.

 “What’s the traitor’s reason?” Minato calmly asked, noticing the way Kushina held onto him so tightly. She barely even seemed to notice he was there, violet orbs staring up into the dark eyes of their shared teacher.

“The traitor has been paid off to take an important scroll to an enemy, how will the loyalist hand the situation?”

“Beat the crap out of them,” Kushina offered in that feral way of hers, eyes on Shigeru in particular.

 “We would have to either bring them back to secure the information they have of Konoha, or, depending on our mission prerogative and details, we may need to take them out after grabbing hold of the scroll they have,” Minato explained, half tempted to pet the redhead.

“Well said, Minato-kun. Fitting for the top student of this year.”

He didn’t mean to beam at the praise, but Kushina quickly used her hold on him for evil, ruthlessly punching his arm.

“Let’s try to have fun,” Minato attempted to say diplomatically before rubbing at his throbbing skin.

 “Don’t order me around,” she said quietly, her voice strict and unrelenting.

“But—”

“Why on Earth should this be fun?” she asked, looking thoroughly pissed off, violet eyes looking more like a deep, _deep_ blue, “Do you even know how serious it is to be traitor? Do you know what it feels like to be betrayed?”

Minato was quiet for a moment before nodding, feeling chastised for the first time in a long while.

She was right in the way that he had no idea what it meant for either side—hadn’t even thought that traitors _deserved_ a side. He had never been betrayed either, or at least he didn’t think he had been. For the most part, his life had been free of most of the struggles that kids faced.

His mother died before he could remember, after all, and his father more than made up for the absence.

“We should write up some dialogue to go off of, maybe choreograph a fight scene,” Minato murmured, looking to Kushina first, but then making eye contact with Yuno and Shigeru.

“Alright, seems like a plan,” Kushina said, obviously pushing back the earlier strife, forcing a smile.

“Now, we should decide who will speak first,” Minato suggested as he pulled out his notebook.

He flushed when it opened to the page of notes he never wanted them to be scene and almost immediately, his face began to burn with heat.

Kushina sucked in a breath, and he winced when she quickly snatched the book away from safety before ripping the piece of paper out before handing the notebook back. He looked at the wadded paper in her hand almost mournfully before he started to right on a fresh page.

He would mourn for it later.

“What did she just tear out?” Yuno asked curiously.

“Just math,” she answered lamely. 

**All Part of the Healing Process**

The next day was not going to be fun. I wanted nothing more than to skip school entirely, avoiding everything and everyone, but Mito was a stickler for perfect attendance.

“Good morning class,” Ruta said but I couldn’t honestly care, groaning when the rest of the class greeted him back. “We’ll be reviewing the proper protocols for in the case that you have to deal with traitors. No matter the reason, the steps taken will be the same. However, depending on the severity of their actions, the punishment will differ...” Ruta-sensei droned on to explain everything I was already aware of.

If there was a traitor, you didn’t spare any chit-chat as you took them down.

The only reason Ruta-sensei brought up the traitors having a cause to do what they’d done was to train us to aptly take a look at the shinobi and decide that no reason was good enough to betray the village. It helped that we were brainwashed to think that way, and even myself saw that if life was decent, there wasn’t a good enough reason in the world to betray the people you loved.

“Alright,” Ruta spoke with a renewed excitement, breaking into my thoughts like an annoying pest, “You guys will be performing now, but first we’ll be moving to the outside for more room.”

The herd of us followed him out to an empty training field. It wasn’t the one we usually used for taijutsu, probably because the other one was already in use. This one was tinier and hadn’t been as well maintained, obvious weeds growing closer to the fences. I frowned knowing that with overgrown grass, it could result in a lot of tripping and general clumsiness.

Eh, whatever. I was already injured as it was.

“Who wants to go first?’ Ruta asked and before I could eagerly jump up, Minato grabbed onto my arms, dragging me close into his side. I looked up at him in surprise to see the barest hint of a blush on his cheeks. He looked embarrassed.

“I don’t think the others are ready to go on,” Minato explained.

“How thoughtful of you,” I murmured back, laying the sarcasm on thick.

I just wanted to get this over with already.

“Right then, Izumi’s group goes first.”

From then on, it was all pretty boring as we watched bad acting and the somewhat awkward take down of the traitors. Then, we all guessed the stupid reason. The guessing was the fun part, mostly because this class contained idiots and, no, I’m not talking about myself. Anyway, the idiots always said the rashest things, which made everyone laugh.

I liked the sound of loud laughter. It reminded me of home.

As soon as it was our turn, being the last ones to go, the entire class began to go off with their chuckles and snorts.

“Good luck up there, Tomato!” One person called.

“Yeah, don’t break a leg!”

“It’s ‘break a leg’, you idiot!” I yelled back, face red with the flush that was always brought on when I got angry.

“Let’s just get started,” Minato interjected and I turned my glare towards him before I relented hesitantly.

“ _Fine_.”

The four of us got into position, the pairs in our respective groups facing each other in a moronic standoff. Yuno cleared her throat before saying in stiff voice, “You can’t stop us!”

“We can,” I replied with in a half-hearted monotone voice, “And we will.” Minato nudged me with his foot and I sighed out, “We will bring you back no matter what.”

“Before that, you’ll have to bring us down fighting,” Shigeru said in a gentle, wimpy voice. He was trying to sound determined, wasn’t he? I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled forth just as Minato kicked me even harder.

“That’s right!” Yuno suddenly burst out with, coming to clutch onto Minato’s arm, looking as if she were play fighting with it. That was not in the script. I found myself glaring passionately at the contact. Stupid Minato. If anything, it would be _his_ fault that Naruto wouldn’t be born. Tch, cheating husband.

“Fighting back is useless,” I ground out in a growl. “Hand over the scroll or you’ll be killed here.”

“No!” Yuno cried, “They’ll kill us if we go back.” Her fingers tightened on him, jerking it around like a stick as Minato looked on with bright cheeks and noticeable confusion.

 “God, you're so flaky!” I shouted, trying not to think about why Minato hadn’t shoved her off already. “You can’t just ditch us!”

“How are we ditching?” Yuno stupidly said and suddenly I felt as if I had really caught Minato cheating. Yuno, this stupid, stupid mistress. Just because he’s the Hokage doesn’t mean he’s all that great.

With a venomous voice, I murmured, “Leaving your duties as shinobi! Leaving your family! Leaving your village!”

“As if we care about that when our loyalties go to the other village,” Yuno said, flustered as she attempted to get back on script. The blonde boy looked pretty troubled. Maybe it was the shock at having been caught by the wife.

“Not more talk,” Minato started, trying to seem confident. I laughed and then grinned a feral grin just as my head began to feel light.

“Prepare to die!” I roared, launching myself at her as I took her to the ground. She sputtered, eyes blinking rapidly with pretty doe-like eyes. I paused before I shifted her face to smash it into the ground. Yuno struggled, slapping at my cheeks before clawing at my face and hair. I relented just a bit, even as I saw only red. “Mine!” I shouted, although I had no clue what I was talking about.

She pushed me away with strength I had no idea she could possibly have. Then she gave a rough shriek, leaping at me with her fingers outstretched. Her nails reached my scalp, digging in deep. My hiss seemed to echo in the suddenly quiet field as I struggled to—

That’s all I could see.

My chest felt tight, hot, and way too heavy as I gave up on trying to think.

“Bring her back!” I screamed, shoving her, only to send my fist to her chin, then using my sweeping foot to bring the girl to the floor. She landed noisily, letting out a groan.

“Stop!”

I couldn’t even recognize the voice, lost in the way I raked my nails across her arms and then—

“Kushina!” Minato called behind me, arms reaching to wrap around my shoulder blades before he pulled me off of her.

I went lax in his warmth and it was then that I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I felt sore and tired. There was nothing else but that except…

“She’s really dead,” I whispered, unable to think or say anything else. It was just a statement, nothing more.

“Kushina-san,” Minato started, “are you alright? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah,” I answered softly, wondering why he was looking at me, wondering why he was helping me to my feet.

“We need to get you cleaned up,” he murmured, musing with my hair and I looked down to my toes, suddenly feeling lost. “Can you walk?”

I nodded even as I felt scared to do so.

I didn’t want to be alone.

By accident, I looked to the side and in glimpse I saw the bloodied mess of Yuno. My eyes widened and I froze. Unconsciously, my hand reached out, holding onto Minato when a wave of exhaustion and horror swept through.

“Monster!” One of the girls shrieked. “Look what you’ve done, freak!”

I winced but could not look away as Yuno twitched, attempting to get up.

 _I can’t take that back_.

“I’m sorry,” I cried out, nearly slipping to my knees. Minato’s hold on me strengthened. “I’m sorry! I’ll do anything! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry!”

“I suppose you are,” Ruta said, eyes looking severe, “But, Kushina-chan, I strongly suggest you leave your personal issues at the front door.”

“Yes…,” I murmured out, shaking where I stood with tears that refused to slip through.

_I hate myself._

**All Part of the Healing Process**

“I can’t fix this, can I?” I asked Mito, rolling up blank scrolls after our practice together. “I mean, I’ll always be a monster now, won’t I?”

“A future Hokage can’t be a monster,” Mito answered after some time of thought.

“But I nearly _killed_ her!”

“Then you have a better grasp of your duties than most.”

I paused, my fingers poised to roll up another scroll. My jaw went slack, as I nearly halted.

 _Of course_.

Killing was unescapable. Why had I thought anything else? Yet it still did not make the situation right. That excuse was so flimsy.

I clenched my hands into fists, creasing the paper before I murmured, “She could have been my friend. I should have never hurt someone that wasn’t my enemy.”

“True,” Mito murmured, sliding her way over to me before letting her fingers sweep at my hair before they rested on my bandaged cheeks, “but that sort of knowledge comes from mistakes like these. You will learn, and I know you will be someone admirable. You are someone who cares, and someone that could never take pleasure in taking life from another. For that, I know you will make a great Hokage.”

“Grandma,” I murmured, brows creasing as I let my fingers come up to touch hers, “I just want to fix this feeling. It’s _awful_.”

“Oh, my sweet lily,” she said softly by my ear before pressing her lips to my forehead, “that feeling never truly goes away once it’s there. It can’t be fixed as it exists for a reason. It’s a reminder; a promise.”

“For what?”

“You will not betray a friend again.”

A promise…

I looked into her eyes, “Then, how can I fix my reputation at least?”

She gave a soft hum, patting at my hair, “I don’t know.”

I blew out a sigh, shoulders slumping.

Mito chuckled, “Perhaps we can discuss it over some snacks and tea.”

I allowed a tiny smile at that before meeting her gaze once more, “Okay.”

“Ah, but before that,” Mito started, looking as if an idea has struck her, “you’re lonely aren’t you?”

I blinked, absolutely unsure on how to react.

“I just realized during all the time you’ve spent here, you haven’t once met my grandchildren.”

 _I wanted to keep it that way_ , I thought sourly, touching at the cheek I refused to have healed.

“We should change that,” Mito went on, “I think you’ll like them both very much.”

“Later,” I mumbled, feigning hunger with a rub at my stomach, “for now let’s go eat.”

“Of course!”

**All Part of the Healing Process**

“Oi! Tomato!” Taichi called just as school ended but I wasted no time on him. I quickly exited the classroom and didn’t even suspect that I was being followed. Most were hesitant to even look my way these days. I simply made my way out of the school and walked my usual way to the Senju clan home.

Thinking back on it now, I probably should have been aware that something like this would have happened if I wasn’t careful.

Just as I was nearing my destination, Taichi and some dude with his hitai ate approached me. With narrowed eyes, I assessed them, uncertain about anything that would happen but I knew one thing for certain.

I would be fighting them. Ugh, I didn’t want to.

My face still hurt and I still refused to go to the hospital.

“We told you to be prepared yesterday,” Taichi growled out, “But you ignored us and didn’t stay after school. So today we’ve decided to find you instead.”

“I see you’ve brought company,” I pointed out.

“He’s my older brother, Taka. He’s already a _genin_ ,” Taichi stressed the last word, as if it meant anything to me. But it was so like him, to get someone big and bad to take care of his messes. He wouldn’t ever make a good shinobi.

“Well, shall we play?” I inquired darkly. It would be better to just beat the hell out of them and get them to leave me alone once and for all. I cracked my knuckles for fair warning.

“You’re just a weak little girl, aren’t you?” Taka had said and I glared at him, knowing I could take him. He was too slim for his size, after all.

“Oh, then why would you hurt, poor ‘ole me?” I asked sweetly as he was taken by surprise.

“Whatever, you’re still in the Academy, _I_ made genin already,” Taka bragged as he shot forward. I looked around, realizing we were in the sight of the Senju clan house. If anyone came out, Mito would be told that I’d been fighting again—which wouldn’t necessarily be bad but she was probably tired of cleaning blood out of clothes. With my eyes searching for a way to lead him away from the place I saw the only way to go was the trees.

I didn’t walk on trees often, but I had done it before when I had needed to run away from a pursuing Kenma, and during hide and seek. Perfect. As swiftly as possible, I ran up the side of the closest sakura tree and hopped onto the branch. Taka was persistent in following me as I made my way across the expansive area of trees.

The clap of my feet against the bark echoed in my ears just as the sound of fluttering petals in the wind did, and I spun just in time to leap onto one of the thicker branches in view. I lingered only for a moment before swinging myself to the next one, low enough to reach before I found myself flipping in the air.

I stumbled on the branch when I landed and it dipped dangerously. I wasted no time before I hopped to the next tree, spitting out petals that stuck to my mouth.

I didn’t stop until a shuriken appeared just above my head, making an obvious _thunk_ against the bark.

So, he was going to fight dirty. Well, two could play at that.

I quickly pulled out the shuriken, and tossed it back with the accuracy he lacked. Taka disappeared in a flash of smoke, leaving behind a block of wood. Tch, just a replacement jutsu. Quickly, I set my eyes on looking for Taka and found him hiding behind a tree. Just for the sake of showing off, I flipped my body down onto the forest floor, landing with all the grace I had been training for.

“Come out, Taka! Let’s settle this face to face,” I called and kept a distinctive eye on his hiding spot. He was casting a jutsu by the looks of his hand movements and for this time, as a clone appeared before me, I let myself caught, as the clone placed one hand on my arm and the other on my throat. It didn’t take long to draw him out like that as the clone dispersed and Taka grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling in the places I really rather he didn’t.

They the wounds had just scabbed over too…

I winced, as he dug in deeply. Having such short hair wasn’t looking to be such a good idea anymore when it was so close to the scalp.

“What ugly hair!” Taka tried to insult me and I had to roll my eyes. He was trying so hard that even I had to give him just a little ecredit. But I wanted to get this over and done with. So without further ado, I swiftly ripped my hair away, leaving a scattering of red strains in the air. Before they even began to float away, I was up in the air, having bounced off his chest. He easily fell to the ground and before long, I had landed on his chest.

The air whooshed out of him but I wasn’t finished. I climbed on top of him as I charged my fist with chakra. When my fist came down on his face, it made a satisfying crack. “What’s that about my hair being ugly!? As if your own is much better! I admit that I look like a tomato but if you ask me, I’ll make you look like a _squashed_ tomato!” I yelled at him as I continued to hit him in the face. “You will never insult my treasure again; you hear? How does it feel to be beaten by a little girl, huh?”

I paused only for a second to hear his plea.

Then, with bated breath, I murmured close enough that I couldn’t be overheard, “I am better than you.”

With one last punch to his nose, I stood, flicking the wet blood off my hand before I looked up to see a horrified Taichi. With a whimper, he took off in the other direction, screaming at the top of his lungs, “It’s the bloody habanero!

Unfazed, I stood up, and glanced up when I felt eyes watching me. With a scowl, I met the blue orbs of Minato. “Was that entertaining to you?” I demanded to know.

“Wha—? No! I mea—.” He spluttered and I just shook my head.

“Whatever, I need to clean up,” I muttered before I sprinted away from the scene, not even caring that I had ruined Taka’s face. Well, I have actually been doing him a favor. He wasn’t that good-looking to begin with.

“Wait!” Minato called and I jumped, surprised that he’d even followed me. Still, I waited impatiently as he caught up with me.

“What?” The tone came out much harsher than I implied and I immediately wanted to apologize, but I kept my mouth shut. It would be best that he didn’t come too close.

_Goodbye, Future._

 “N—.” My words fell away as Minato unexpectedly grabbed onto my arm. My eyes widened, “Wh-what are you doing!?”

“Don’t misunderstand me. I wanted to step in but I knew you could handle it. So let me apologize by treating you to ramen.”

“F-Fine, but I want to c-clean up,” I stammered out, face red as I focused on the fact that Minato was actually touching me, “Let’s eat ramen tomorrow.” The bastard.

Minato frowned but then smiled his gentle, bright smile, “Deal.”

With that, I shoved him away and stepped back, “Flaky, cheating hus—,” I cut myself off as I did my best to calm down, “Just don’t forget, ‘ttebane!” With my face flaming and my head feeling light, I took off in the direction of the Senju clan house.

“I won’t!” He called to me and I really begged that he would.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

When I got home, doing my best to hide my bloodied clothes, I dodged around the maids and the clan members, hoping I wouldn’t be seen. I’d even almost made it to the bathroom successfully but then footsteps round the corner and I was suddenly knocked to the floor by huge breasts. _Shit_.

“Ah, Kushina-chan? What are you doing covered in so much blood?”

“Tsu-Tsunade-san,” I greeted with a forced smile, “this blood is nothing. Just from a stupid boy.”

The iryo-nin lifted a brow, “I do hope he’s alive.”

I frowned, “I _think_ his brother went to get help...”

Tsunade snorted, “Why don’t you explain in more detail while we get you cleaned up.”

I hesitated, nibbling on my lower lip with lowered lashes. I didn’t understand her. I didn’t know how to act around the woman I knew the future of.

She looked so… _happy._

“Oh, come on, we met the first day you arrived here, didn’t we? Now, we’re practically family thanks to Grandmother.”

 _But we’re not_ , I held back on saying.

“Alright,” I murmured, wondering if it was actually alright.

With a smile, she pushed at my shoulders, leading me to where I recognized as the baths. Pushing the door open, she gestured to me and I sighed, giving up as I turned around.

 “Ne, Tsunade-san,” I started as soon as I took off my clothes, the hot water running in the tub as she got it started, but as I turned to see her undressing herself I totally froze, face pale. Did she intend to take a bath with me? Apparently yes, as her last article of clothing fell into the hamper.

“What is it, Kushina-chan?” Tsunade asked and I quickly jumped into the bath, ducking underneath the water as it splashed around me. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. It was one thing to get naked in front of someone, but it was another thing entirely to see someone else naked. My face was burning with the added heat of the tub.

When I sat up for air, pushing aside my soaked bangs, I was glad to see that Tsunade had entered the tub too. The water rose up around her but it did help to cover her up. Soon I would get over this blush of mine, _soon_.

“Were you going to ask me something?” Tsunade inquired once more, hand wading in the water.

“We haven’t spoken since the day we first met. I’m just wondering why…”

“Why what?”

“Why you’re here today. Did Mito-san ask you to come here?”

“She did,” Tsunade said, almost dismissively, “but more importantly, why not call her as usual? Grandma.”

“Grandma,” I echoed, making circles in the water almost absentmindedly, “I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Hmm,” Tsunade reached a hand out, before flicking the dripping water at my face. I blinked. “Grandmother worries you aren’t fitting in well here. She worries you will want to go home when we need you.”

 _I do_ , I thought to myself, feeling that oh-so familiar ache in my chest.

“Duty before desire,” I whispered. Then, in a louder voice, “Did she just ask you?”

“You’ll be meeting Nawaki today too, if you’ve heard about him. He’s my little brother with a _very_ similar dream. Guess you have some competition there.”

I flushed, attempting not to worry.

 _Nawaki is dead_.

 _Not yet_ , I hissed back.

 “Don’t look so gloomy,” The busty blonde grinned, “let me wash your back!” With that, Tsunade came forward and grabbed onto my arms, bringing me closer before she snaked her fingers out to tickle my side.

I couldn’t help the sudden hysteric laughter that bubbled up as I fought to breathe.

“Ts—.”

“Resistance is futile, Kushina-chan!” Tsunade laughed mischievously as I splashed around in the tub.

“St—.”

“Had enough?” Tsunade asked and I frantically nodded, “Then stop being so formal, you twerp. Call me big sis.”

“Big sis…?”

“Yup! But I still do want to wash your back later. Sisterly bonding, ne?”

“I guess,” I mumbled softly, cheeks rising in heat. I dipped my face into the steaming and almost welcomed the sting that came to my still healing cuts.

“You should let me heal those. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m actually very good with my hands.”

I blinked but stubbornly shook my head, “If it scars, I don’t want to forget where they’ve come from.”

“That’s a nice notion, Ku-chan,” Tsunade chuckled, “Ah, isn’t that a nice nickname?”

“Y-Yeah,” I agreed, nodding emphatically even as I just wanted to curl up and hide.

“Now let’s get out and meet my little brother. Maybe you two will even hit off so well that you’ll be calling me sister-in-law!”

_I doubt it._

Holding back a sigh, I reached for the shampoo and then very nearly jumped out of my skin at hearing the soft gasp coming from the corner.

“Sorry! I didn’t think anyone would be in here!”

I looked up then promptly duck deep into the water, peering over the edge of the tub with wide eyes.

Nawaki Senju.

Since when did he get so good looking?

I flushed at the thought then looked over to see Tsunade laughing her head off.

“Well, what’s your first impression of him? Hopeless, or what?”

Nawaki’s face turned red, flustered, “I said I was sorry already!”

“Yeah well, you still haven’t left,” Tsunade pointed out.

He looked like he was going to say something, mouth opening and closing like the gaping mouth of a fish fresh out of water. Then, clenching his fist as his brown hair swayed in his actions, he spun around to exit of the room, obviously fuming.

“He’s so easy to tease,” his older sister commented, snickering to herself before jabbing a finger in the direction he had gone as she looked to me, “So? What did you think of him?”

I didn’t know what to say that didn’t involve the fact that I knew he would be dying at a young age, but then, very softly that only the echo managed to carry it, I said, “He looks nice.”

Which only made her laugh all the much more.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

 “All right, settle down, class,” Ruta addressed us as he stood at the front of the class, “Today we’ll be discussing chakra control. Most of you have never been able to mold chakra at all, and that will be remedied, hopefully, today.”

Silently, I was mourning the good mood I had been in. Soon, I would be just bored. Plain bored. It almost made me resent Mito’s decision to forgo an aptitude test just so I’d stay within my age group. Most of what Ruta was teaching at this point felt almost as if he was beating a broken drum. I’d already learned all this stuff in what felt like ages ago.

I huffed out a sigh and turned to my notebook for solace, opening it up with the intention to practice my drawing skills. However, being unexpectedly intrusive, Minato slid closer to me, gently grabbing the notebook from hands as he readied his pen.

‘I didn’t forget,’ he wrote.

Damn it.

Agitated, I found myself wanting to burn the notebook but diplomatically, I replied to him with a simple, ‘I didn’t forget either, stupid.’. The only thing, however, was that it was in English, the language that still felt foreign and hard to grasp. My handwriting was a sure hell of grosser with it, like a jumbled mess.

I grinned, just thinking of the puzzled face Minato would have. But I couldn’t look. I needed to _stop_ looking and thinking about him. That was my problem, indeed. I mean, the future wasn’t exactly foreboding at this current moment in time. I didn’t need to waste my precious time on such silly stuff. I sorely wish I hadn’t ever agreed to meet up with that idiot blonde for ramen. It didn’t even matter that I had yet to eat the ramen in Konoha.

I had a feeling it couldn’t beat Uzushio’s.

For some very strange reason, ramen had stood as a frequent craving of all Uzumaki and I suppose that gene skipped out on me. I liked the stuff but I was more of a girl who liked high calorie sweets much more than anything else. It helped that I was active enough to keep up such a diet.

Ah, I missed Mika’s cooking... At that thought, it sent an ache in my heart and that only led to thoughts of her and the dream I had lot. I had been trying not to feel it, the feeling of grief. So far I had done everything to keep my mind busy and away from thoughts of home but that hadn’t exactly worked out so well the _first_ time. Yuno could attest to that. I bit my lip.

This class couldn’t end sooner.

Still, it was good to get a time to practice my seals with everyone too preoccupied to look at me.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

Class was ending, I could feel it.

With tense shoulders, I wanted to do everything to run away and hide.  The good mood was gone, wiped out by the prospect that I just didn’t know how to _function_ with Minato around, which was highly embarrassing. I considered myself a rather social person. This sudden lack of friends wasn’t exactly easy to deal with, as much as I lied to myself.

Well, these days, there wasn’t much to pick form—more like, no one wanted to pick _me_.

I didn’t want Minato or Nawaki though. They had too much meaning in the future.

I just wanted my twins back.

I could do nothing as class came to a close and I gazed at him reproachfully, wishing to be anywhere but there.

“Does what you wrote mean that you didn’t forget?” Minato asked, adorably—cough—stupidly confused. It was almost like a betrayal that my mind slipped up and it was entirely his fault.

“I wonder,” I muttered and he shifted on his feet awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do. Man, he was so flaky. Hopping up, I grabbed onto his arm, “Come on, let’s go.”

“A-Alright,” Minato looked largely conflicted but all that mattered was just sitting down, eating a bowl of ramen, and forgetting that this day ever existed.

My hold on him felt oddly familiar and warm, much like a hug, and I couldn’t fathom why.

Grumbling to myself for the reasons, we headed to the busiest part of Konoha, the market and entertainment section. We approached the little ramen stall easily enough as we each took a seat on one of the stools. The man attending the stall even seemed to be expecting us, as he gave a welcoming smile and even patted Minato on the head, before handing him a bowl of ramen. Looks like he was a regular.

“So what can I get for one of my most loyal customers and his pretty friend.”

“I’m not his friend,” I deadpanned, “We’ve been forced together due to circumstances beyond my control.” And it was true. Stupid special chakra and being reincarnated.

The man blinked before he gave a gutsy laugh, “This one’s a keeper! Is she always this serious?”

I had to think about that. Had I honestly been my usual happy-go-lucky self in Konoha? That would be a sincere no. The closest I’d ever gotten to acting like I had in Uzushio had been when I was around Mito. She reminded me so much of my mother that it had made me relax almost instantly. It was almost like being back home when I was around. But I made a point of not replacing Satsuki with her. Mito was more like a grandmother than anything. I’d never had a grandmother in this life.

But was I always serious? The answer was in a between state. I had the tendency to be gloomy with my thoughts but my actions expressed an excitable Uzumaki kunoichi. I blinked, realizing just how much I had actually changed since coming here.

“I’m still adjusting to life in Konoha,” I mumbled as the discussion had lulled to a stop.

“Oh? Where are you from?”

“Uzushio!” I declared, the thought of my island making my heart sore. One way to get me happy, I suppose, was to bring up my home. But then again, there was that stab of grief.

“Wasn’t there just an attack there?” the man asked, thoughtful.

“Yeah,” I simply said as I dodged giving even more information about it, “An order of miso ramen, please!”

“The same for me,” Minato requested, his cheeks slightly flushed and her eyes avidly watching in anticipation as the stall owner set to work. As the aromas of the savory ramen wafted up, it was almost like being in Uzushio again. I breathed in, feeling my stomach growl. It smelled rather similar to Uzushio styled ramen, which made me take pause. I watched the steps he took in preparing it, eyes wide.

“Has any of your family members been?” I asked, blatantly curious.

“To Uzushio? My father went there. I suppose this is where he got the recipe.” He laughed sheepishly, “We were just barely making it to end’s meet and then father got the chance to visit that island and then everything changed. He came back and we got a new lease on life making ramen. Of course, since then, the recipe has changed since then. It caters to the taste of the people of Konoha, after all,” the man was saying, hands working swiftly as he got two bowls prepared. Before long, I had a steaming serving of ramen right in front of me. I sniffed it, the genuine smells of Uzushio bringing me back to the sea breeze, the vast abundance of crops and the bright refreshing view of birds soaring in the air.

I wanted to cry.

Biting my lip, I strengthened my resolve to fill my stomach as I picked up my chopsticks. With a timid expression, I gathered noodles, and before I could think twice, I shoved it in my mouth, slurping up the rest. With wide eyes I realized that it _did_ taste like the food I would eat on special occasions with my family. The flavor was there, just slightly watered down. It made sense. Uzushio was a place of spices and powerful, packing flavors. On many occasions I had seen foreigners taking a bite, only to spit it out, eyes wide with surprise.

I took another gulp, savoring it this time. With a grin, I turned to see how Minato was doing. His eyes gleamed as I had never seen before. He was used to it, but still seemed to love it. He jumped and I grinned.

“You come here often?” I asked, deciding that for today I would call a truce. I mean, he was already looking down as it was.

“Every day,” the stall owner quipped and I swiveled to look at him in shock.

“That isn’t healthy,” I found myself chiding, “Don’t you get tired of it?”

Minato considered this, shaking his head with a small smile, “I can’t say that I have.”

I frowned, “No wonder you're so weak and wimpy.”

“Weak?” the stall owner asked, curious, “I thought you were at the top of your class.”

“He is,” I admitted, “but I still broke his nose.”

“Broken nose...? Wait,” the ramen chef snapped his fingers, “You’re the girl Minato was so chatty about!”

“Chatty?” I was curious, “What did he say? Tell me!” I could almost imagine the blonde boy talking about how much stronger and cooler I was then he.

“No,” Minato interjected, his eyes panicked, “Don’t tell her anything.”

“Please?” I begged and the man just helplessly shrugged, deflating my excitement.

“All I can say is that I agree with him about the hair,” he grinned and I touched it self-consciously. I wondered what was there to agree about. What if it looked bad? Gross, even. It had been a mistake to cut it, that much was certain. Short hair and chubby faces didn’t go well together. With a pout, I wished it would grow faster. I sent a glare to Minato, who just merely sat up with jolt and stared at his bowl of ramen. I continued to glare at him, and I was surprised to see him glancing at me from the corner of his eye. His cheeks were red.

“It’s still not healthy,” I found myself saying as I took another bite.

“I agree,” the man said, “A proper diet for a boy his age and in his circumstances would be a structured intake of all food groups and not just wheat and a couple of toppings. Otherwise he could jeopardize his physical training.”

“You hear that?” I turned to Minato with a pout, “Right now I can beat you in a spar and you wouldn’t be able to put up a decent fight at all.”

“I don’t really know how to cook,” Minato admitted sheepishly and I blanched, “My dad doesn’t know how to either, so we usually eat here when he’s not working.”

“I’ll cook for you.”

It was out before I could think better of it and the blonde boy stiffened in surprise, eyes wide. I knew this face very well. It seemed every time I opened my mouth I was not only shocking him; I had been catching myself unprepared as well.

“I-I mean,” I sputtered, “it’s the least I could do for my opponent,” that came out wrong, “for another prospective Hokage,” that didn’t work out so well either, “I mean, it’s the least I could do for a friend,” I finally settled on, agitated beyond all reason that I had to explain myself.

“Are you even good at cooking?” he asked, free of judgment, and I considered his question with a smile.

“Of course I am!”

“That would be... I wouldn’t want to infringe,” Minato ended up saying and I hit him none too gently. He winced, only empowering my decision to make food for him.

“The Hokage will, sooner or later, ask for help on occasions. It can’t be easy dealing with mountains of paperwork,” although I was certain he’d enjoy that part, “and unruly, hyper aware, paranoid ninja of all ages. So buck up and accept my generosity, ‘ttebane!” The word ‘ _wimp_ ’ was left unsaid but it was thoroughly intended. “Or I’ll be there to take the role myself!”

“Thank you,” Minato softly said, a brilliantly soft smile placed on his lips.

It was enough to make my face heat up. Stupid, aggravating boy.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

“Don’t expect to get it right on the first try,” Mito murmured, watching as I drew the first level of the seal. She was finally teaching me offensive fuinjutsu and it was exciting. First of all, it was a seal that, for all intents and purposes, was created to place to store actual weapons inside the body. It was highly dangerous, however, and Mito was keeping an avid watch on my every move.

“Once I’m able to draw the seal, I’ll be using vacuums, right?”

“Your mother taught you well.”

“She didn’t teach me how to find them,” I admitted.

“Through meditation.”

The response threw me off guard. The Uzumaki weren’t calm people by nature, so how I would even manage to do something like meditation was beyond me. Concentrating to learn seals was hard enough as it was.

Mito laughed at my expression, “It won’t be easy but if you manage to do this, then you’ll have proved to be on the track to becoming a sealmaster and specializing in fuinjutsu.”

“Ne, do you think I’ll ever be as good as you?” I asked, my eyes twinkling with the idea.

Mito considered this, expression thoughtful before she spoke, “The idea of fuinjutsu is very simple. It’s the ability to store things within other things. We open up these vacuums and these dimensions in things that aren’t even living. However, when your able to innovate on such a simple idea, then that’s when I believe you would be able to surpass me.”

I wondered if I was even that creative, “I’ll do my best.”

Mito smiled, “First, you have to learn this seal. Ah, you made them uneven,” the aged woman then gently drew on the paper in front of her, “Like this, it curves.

“Oh!” I grinned as I started over once again.

“Very nice. Your calligraphy teacher must have taught you well.”

I thought of my ever so diligent mother and grinned, she _had_ taught me well.

**All Part of the Healing Process**

The next day, armed with a fully stuffed, stacked two-layer bento, I didn’t pay any mind to the stares as I set the monstrosity into my cube. It was so big, however, that I ended up having to take out my outside shoes and place them in an empty one. With that, I slipped on my inside shoes and made my way to my seat next to Minato. He’s blue eyes were very curious and I grinned.

“Lunch will be good,” I informed him, thinking of all the things I made. Fried rice, shrimp, a steamed assortment of finely cut and seasoned vegetables, a variety of my favorite fruits, pickled plum onigiri, and three little cakes. The fourth layer of the box, however, was a mystery and would stay as such till the end of the day and I gave it to Minato.

“So you had been serious,” Minato blandly commented and I nodded, excited for lunch time, just to show him how cool I was.

“Hmm,” I replied with, preoccupied with getting my notebook out of my bag.

“What kind of things did you make?” Minato asked and I faced him, considering if I should tell him.

“It’s a surprise,” I decided to say, mischievously and by look on his face I could tell he was dying to know. I grinned, this was the best kind of reaction. Well, actually the best kind of reaction would be something I could hit him for. But knowing him, that was unlikely.

As soon as Ruta called the class to attention and he started on a lesson I had already learned ages ago, I found myself with my notebook once more, practicing seals. I felt Minato watching but I knew it wasn’t my face. He was watching my hands. Oh yeah, Minato was actually into fuinjutsu. I glanced up to see where the class was at and then at Minato, who I knew had been just as bored as I was.

Why not just a little? I mean, I wasn’t going to let him become a master but…

I started on a new page and thought of the simplest seal. The memory seal. Biting my lip, I drew the first layer, and wrote a side note _, this is a seal to enhance the ability to remember things_. I, then, went on to explain how seals were formed, how the numbers had to match up or otherwise the seal would be a dud. I watched his eyes and the curve of his lip as his interest grew. Numbers really could draw the boy in.

Before long, I had him practicing drawing it and watched in fascination as he quickly picked it up. He had even mastered it faster than Kenma had, in the mere hour we had spent indoors with Rutai. I had to take back when I called him stupid. He may be weak and wimpy, but he was _smart_. I had a nagging feeling that it was like this with everything given to him to learned. He truly was a prodigy. Just as class was ending and we switched to taijutsu, I had been showing him a new seal, one which had taken me about two days to master.

I had a feeling it wouldn’t even take him a day as his eyes scanned it and he got it perfectly on his third try. It could have just been a fluke but from just that I could tell that if left to his own devices and basic explanations for things, he could surpass me within the year. So, yeah, my ego was deflated. I wasn’t particularly competitive, joking aside, but with Minato it was different. I had to be better than him or else we couldn’t stand as equals. Infuriatingly enough, I knew for a fact that he didn’t see me as a rival. Just a girl with vibrant red hair.

Lips twitching with agitation, I knew one area in which I could beat him. Minato didn’t eat properly and that went a long way. He was faster than me, sure, but he was weaker in strength and I had come with a clan kid advantage. I had my own unique fighting style compared to the others and I wasn’t easily beat. Apparently, there was something about my springing moves, as I tended to jump into the air and was rather flexible, being disconcerting. There was also the added fact that you couldn’t read what my next move would be because I didn’t _think_ of a next move unless the situation called for it.

Back to sparring with Minato, however. Lately, the other kids didn’t want to go near me, for fear that they’d be beaten by the ‘Bloody Habanero’ or would be mentally scarred considering Taichi was still in considering he was still in counseling with the Yamanaka. Thus I had been left with Minato or anyone forced or brave enough. Today was no different—he truly was the only one that didn’t completely get pummeled the first minute.

Once we got out to the training field, I settled into step with Minato. He looked at me curiously but I said nothing, just staring at him. It might be silly, using a scare tactic on the poor boy but it was him who easily got confused, hesitance coming soon after. When he asked if there was a problem and I said nothing, I saw the most confused, puppy dog-eyed expression ever. But I would not be tricked. In fact, I was furious he was trying to use such a thing against me.

Then I smiled my best smile, and gave a sugar sweet laugh, “You’re dead today, Minato-kun.” I had never seen fear quite like his, mixed with raw confusion and the unsaid question of, ‘ _What did I even do_?’ but he would know soon enough.

“We’ll be practicing throwing kunai today,” Kurosawa announced and pointed to the rack of the hanging weapon, “Some of you kids have thrown kunai, but the majority of you kids have not. That is why I want the kids who accurately know how to throw these bad boys, in the _proper_ way, then raise your hands. If you are lying in anyway and are just trying to look cool, there will be a punishment,” Kurosawa glared darkly and I blinked, watching as kids who had raised their hands brought them back down. I kept mine up. “Ah, Kushina-chan, could you demonstrate throwing kunai?”

With flushed cheeks, I nodded before stepping forward and grabbing one of them off the rack. I faced the target and threw it easily, watching as it hit dead center. I guess what helped the most was the hours, upon hours I had spent gaining control and accuracy over my adamantine chains. My body and eyes were just naturally balanced so that when I was standing still, I could throw with deadly accuracy. Sadly, it didn’t work for when I was actually moving, as I missed even the easiest target. I went and retrieved the kunai before standing in front the brunette. Kurosawa whistled.

“Good work there, Kushina-chan. Can you do it again, this time, walking us through the steps?”

“Sure,” I agreed and faced the class. With a clear voice I explained the proper grip, the possible mistakes you could do and watched as the group of kids took in what I had to say. It was actually pretty nice, getting to be heard for change.

“It’s exactly as she says,” Kurosawa grinned and patted me on the head, “You’d make an excellent teacher, Kushina-chan.”

“R-Really?” I asked, not used to being praised by her.

“Yes. Now, I want everyone to pair up, experienced with inexperienced. We’ll be practicing this for fifteen minutes before getting into spars.”

 “You need to be taught, right?” I asked after rushing to Minato’s side, gazing at the blonde as he nodded, looking uncertain about the whole thing, “Don’t worry, Minato-kun, I won’t kill you yet. That’s for the spar.”

“Why...?”

I answer his question. Biting my lip, I studied him for a second before pointing to the rack of kunai, “Let’s get started.”

“Okay,” he settled on saying after a moment of pause. The two of us grabbed three kunai each and I brought us to one of the targets.

“I doubt you’ll need my help for much longer,” I started out with, the sore loser that I am.

“What do you mean?” Minato looked confused and I huffed out a sigh. Nothing was worse than a clueless prodigy.

“You’re smart, you idiot,” I didn’t even care that I had just said something almost nice to him, “Now, grip it just like this. It’ll make throwing a lot easier and your motions will be fluid.”

“I see,” Minato caught on as fast as I knew he would, holding the kunai as if it was made for him. It pretty much was, knowing what he would then accomplish with them.

“If you need to close one of your eyes for the first few tries, it’s fine,” I told him, recalling the trouble I had with them when I first started throwing at age three. Minato nodded before closing his left and throwing. It easily sank into the post, nearly hitting dead center. I wanted to cry, knowing that it hadn’t been a fluke. With a huffy stance, I went and retrieved it, tossing it to him as he swiftly caught it. Tch.

“Throw again,” I ordered and like a well-oiled machine, he did, this time keeping both of his eyes open. It hit in the center. I frowned but patted him on the back before retrieving the kunai.

“That was surprisingly easy,” Minato realized, laughing. I couldn’t wait for the spar.

We went on to have a throwing contest, seeing who was more accurate. Despite my years of hard work building up my skills, Minato won. At least it was close, though.

When we were finally called to gather around and spar, it was with great pleasure that I stepped up as the first opponent and watched as everyone but Minato look pointedly away when Kurosawa asked for volunteers. With a sigh, and an unhappy face, Minato raised his hand. I grinned. Attaboy!

“Minato-kun versus Kushina-chan, it is, as usual. You may start.”

The moment he stepped in the ring and his stance was ready, I shot forward, determined to win fairly and without charging my fists. He dodged and I feinted to the left, watching as he fell for it. I shot my fist forward, smashing it into his chin. I watched while he lost his balance. I jumped on top of him and with an evil cackle, I bound his hands in front of me with a chakra chain.

I was showing off. So what?

There was a chorus of gasps when I heaved him up, my chains tightly coiled. As soon as I shoved him out of the circle and over the line, they dissipated and I looked at the blond boy to see his surprised face. Minato was also shocked. I mean, I was unpredictable but not _that_ unpredictable.

“Kushina-chan, what did I say about using chakra?” Kurosawa chided even as she looked confused. Inwardly, I shrugged, knowing that I had still won.

“My chains are a part of me,” I claimed, and she merely rolled her eyes as if it were an excuse.

“Next spar...” She went on with as I relished in the feeling of using my chains. It had been a while, hadn’t it?

**All Part of the Healing Process – End**


	5. You Do Not Know Me

**Edited &Posted: 3/17/16**

* * *

**Fire Flower**

* * *

_**5** _

* * *

It's scary when you realize it; that people will be gone and won't come back.

I sometimes think of scenarios that involve me with them before feeling the news all over again when I recalled that they were gone. Like waking up from a vague daydream—eyes widening, throat closing, chest tightening, questions at the tips of your lips—it was like losing something…yet holding onto everything.

Yesterday I dreamt of Mika.

They say time heals all wounds but I don't understand how it possibly could… _years_ have passed and yet it still feels as new as the first day. Like a hole is there, the subtle feeling that something is missing, an _absence_. It shouldn't be there and it _hurts._ I feel it in my heart, my chest and at times it can spread to my throat, a deep imprint of desolation—it never fails to terrify me when I think about it.

The world became scary the moment when I realized that things are fleeting, they're too short-lived. That things pass by before I can even understand them, or have much of a chance to. Yet the one thing I _want_ to pass, the one thing I want to be _rid_ of—well, it was something that could not be removed. Feelings tend to stay when you least want them to, almost like the memories I have been stuck with.

So, yesterday I dreamt of Mika and she had been laughing.

But when I woke up, realizing what was reality and what was fantasy, I found myself hating the sound of her laughter in my ears. It lingered there, softly, echoing in my mind as I struggled to think of anything else.

I don't look at food the same way, but I make it the same way. My hands wrap around the balls of rice, sometimes making its shape into a triangle, sometimes into something silly like a fox. I do it with humor but not like I used to—not as lovingly as I had done in the past with my mother humming beside me. Not as excited as I could remember myself being when I looked up to see her smiling down at me.

Words can explain many things…but they don't quite explain what it actually feels like when you _miss_ someone. They can't express all of the confusion, the disorientation that comes with it. There's fear that comes with it and I think it's the sort of fear that is quiet and subtle. Just barely hanging there over my shoulders. It makes me ask myself if I'll ever see my mom and dad again and I become afraid when I think of the answer.

Time passes quickly sometimes, each day slipping by slowly and yet soon to be dismissed.

One year passed at first and I didn't generally feel any different. I'd grown taller, which was a plus, but I'd also hadn't changed much at all. I hadn't forgotten the things I sometimes prayed would evaporate, instead being compelled to write it all down in the scrolls I had piled up in my bedroom. But on the other hand...while I felt nothing huge was happening in my position, letters from Mom always reminded me that even if I could remember another life, I was still in a world that did not flow in the same way as the story once had.

While the Uzumaki clan was originally meant to be wiped out, they still stood. The clan, one of the strongest, had fallen but lived. It was as if our long lifespans had become a curse and now my family was—

" _Shinobi dog."_

—No. I don't like to think about it.

Still, somehow and despite all of the laws and restrictions that had been placed, Mom constantly wrote about how glad she was that I was safe underneath the protection of the Hokage and Mito. Yet on the other hand...I had a little brother now that I had never met. Someone I was so sure would be a sister...someone I would probably never meet. A living person that had not existed before but existed now; someone that held my blood and grew up in the imprisoned lifestyle of what Uzushio had become.

Because I was _obviously_ the only one in the position to do anything about it, being one of the only freed Uzumaki that hadn't yet to be enslaved. But for me to be able to do anything like put a dent into the strong holding of the four united hidden villages, I had to be much older and...much more powerful.

I could not stand to be childish. I had to change. I had to become strong and resilient in order for my family to be free again.

That was why, in the two and a half years that passed by in a blur, I planned to take the genin test a year earlier than my classmates. Except for one...a certain blonde that had been annoying enough as a pest to have followed the advice of the teacher and decided to take it at the same time as I did.

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me**

* * *

"Minato!" I roared into the classroom, making my way stiffly to the boy, a frown full of irritation painting my face. Long locks of cherry red hair bounced around me as I huffed out, slamming my hands on his desk. Wood splintered beneath my fingertips and when I clenched, Minato visibly lost a shade of color.

"What is it, Kushina-san?" he asked, trying for one of his famously fake smiles that the girls all swooned over. I bared my teeth in response to his nonchalant way of calling me by my first name.

Over the year since we'd met, nothing of value could be said of our relationship from an outsider. To everyone else, we were simply rivals that had the same goal in life. But unlike what I probably should have done, I'd kept a close relationship with him. Only close enough for my purposes though.

If I intended to beat him in this lifetime I needed to actually know his weaknesses, right?

So sure, I cooked food for him. After all, it was only the payment for our sparring sessions and ability to team up for class assignments. I figured that since we had a relationship set around 'work', there was no way for us to be anything more than friends and thus there was nothing to worry about.

I'd vowed a long time ago that romance was completely off the table with Minato and probably with everyone in general. I couldn't have a kid...especially not when my role was to be the jinchuuriki. Just like Mito, I vowed to live a long time but unlike her, I wouldn't risk releasing the Kyuubi when such devastation could be wrought. Especially when it had already been proven in my case that the Kyuubi would be unleashed at the birth of Naruto. So Naruto would not exist in this world. I could not be selfish.

But still, it didn't help that when Minato did dumb things like taking the genin test with me—it sort of pissed me off. While some sort of relationship was fine, I did not want to run the risk of becoming his teammate. Surely he'd become like glue and then I'd never get rid of him, never get rid of the 'what if's that often plagued me when I daydreamed.

Either way...could I convince him to do anything else? He never listened to me.

I shook my head, trying to cool my head before I did anything stupid. But then, upon seeing his simple, wide smile, before I could fully keep myself from doing it, I snapped. "Don't do it!" I growled out, trying to keep it from sounding like a whine. I looked him in the eye for a moment, huffing out a sigh before slipping into the seat beside him, arms coming to cross over on the desk before I laid my cheeks onto them.

"Don't do what?" Minato asked, looking blatantly confused. Quickly, anger draining out in a sudden flood, I let out a gusty sigh, rubbing my face into my skin. Despite him being a genius, sometimes it felt like I had to spell out the simplest things.

"Don't take the genin test," I explained with a soft sigh, coming to lean back before crossing my arms over my stomach, "especially not when I'm going to be taking it."

"Why not?" he asked, eyes wide as he regarded me with that confusing stare of his. Like he was analyzing me but with no traces of anger or ill intent. It was a strange feeling to say the least.

"Because we could end up on the same team! Why would I want to be with my _rival_ on the same team!"

Minato cocked his head to the side but remained quiet, the air around him turning thoughtful as he casually watched me.

Placing my chin on the palm of my hand, I stared back at him just as silently.

Softly, after minutes had passed in the stalemate, he simply smiled and murmured out, "It would be a matter of scores and chances if we got on the same team, Kushina-san."

" _But_ ," I adamantly started, my lips pulling out into a pout, "there are still chances that we'd end up on the same te—."

"Ew, is he really talking to the dog?" a voice murmured somewhere close by, interrupting me as I sucked in a sharp breath. I knew they were talking about me. They always were.

Lips pursing and brows drawing in, I looked away from Minato and towards the person who had said it. A girl, Asuka if I could recall correctly, snickered beside Chiyako. They glanced back towards me and met my gaze. Almost instantly the laughter died on their lips and they paled.

I bared my teeth at them before mimicking a dog's bark, "Woof! Woof! Woof!" The pencil in my hands broke on the last word, my teeth snapping together with a sharp click before I rose out of my seat. "Woof!" I repeated as I made my way closer to them, coming to stand just mere centimeters away from them, letting my hot breath hit Asuka's small rounded face as I gave one last final bark.

"W-We're sorry," Asuka whispered, cringing back as she swallowed.

I looked down on her then, standing up to my full height as I merely watched her, silent.

"W-We won't s-say it again, promise," Chiyako pleaded, shaking where she stood.

Wordlessly, I called forth my chains, absentmindedly twirling them around in the air before sending one out to touch their faces, watching as it touched them softly and sweetly. I smiled at them then, all teeth and gum.

Softly, as nicely as I could say it, I murmured out, "You dare call me a dog again…and I will _end_ your career as a shinobi."

"Kushina-san," Minato said behind me, doing what he did so often when I spewed my threats. Before I could go on, Minato's hand came to rest on my mouth, promptly shutting me up as my entire face flushed from the contact. I felt my shoulders tense up at being touched but I tried to keep it cool as I turned away from them, my chains simply evaporating before looking to the blonde boy.

"I told you, Kushina-san. You need to problem solve instead of resorting to anger," he calmly said, smiling blue eyes staring into mine. Absentmindedly I bit the palm of his hand, trying to figure out what about him could piss me off so much and yet leave me wordless to say anything. "Biting on my hand isn't going to help either," he murmured, face impassive to the pain.

I stopped what I was doing and made a face, pulling away before grumbling out, "Don't touch me. I'll bite the entire thing off next time you do."

He rolled his eyes, "You have a big mouth, Kushina-san, but not _that_ big."

"Whatever," I grounded out stubbornly, slipping past him as I calmly tried to walk to my desk. He followed after and the both of us returned to our spots of earlier.

"What's gotten into you today?" he asked, looking worried as he met my gaze.

I looked down, away from his probing gaze and instead to my hands, wiggling them with little thought.

 _Maybe it's because of you_ , I wondered absentmindedly, blowing out a breath before beginning to buzz with my lips. Minato served as a reminder every day of what could have been—every day that I see him, it's the same. He never changes but I do. Too often I fail to make up my mind.

Too often I have slipped and called him a friend and far, _far_ too often I have thought about giving up on everything entirely.

So I remain in a limbo filled with questions that never cease to create more and answer none.

"I…It's none of your business," I informed him, and bit out a soft, tiny apology before slamming my head against the desk, shaking it before huffing out a sigh and making a boldfaced lie, "Ugh, okay, Grandma is driving me crazy. She's so demanding! Not my fault that they made some seals too hard—and it's definitely not my fault that she's kept up most of the time making seals and getting crabbier by the day!"

"She's an immense help to the war, you have to admit," Minato responded, hand going to his chin, "Your clan is also really...helpful," Minato reminded me, looking sad although he probably had no idea why. I never did tell him much about it and he never seemed too keen on finding out. Sniffing, I nodded stiffly before sitting up, hands coming up to twirl in my hair.

"I'm going to stop it one day," I murmured darkly.

"The war?"

"Hn," I relented noncommittally before I continued to frown. My thoughts turned to my family—the very one that sent carefully worded messages in the Uzumaki shorthand, explaining how everything was being observed, to be careful, and to not worry even if they had been enslaved.

My fingers tightened up as I clenched them into a fist, wrapping them up into my shoulder length hair before resting my chin to the desk, eyes locked on the wood as I thought back to the large variety of trees in Uzushio. I missed the trees with bananas the most but they were lighter than oak in color and ultimately too…too what? I didn't know, I just didn't want to _think_.

But I always did.

"Chains," I whispered out softly, feeling his gaze return to my still form.

But all I could think was of the fact that they'd even brought steel chains into the mix—as a joke, most likely. Mocking the very thing we held up as our pride. Like a factory of seals, they were distributed everywhere, somehow being the only thing above sides in the war.

Everyone got equal opportunity to have as many seals as they wanted because the Uzumaki had become "shared property." Shinobi dogs at the beck and call of their many masters.

I still don't know why. I can only guess why that is. Like something stupid; they all came together and stormed the island for this reason but that doesn't make sense. _None of it makes sense_. The world doesn't make sense and everything I know about it is unreliable.

But Minato had no idea about those sort of things so I couldn't exactly snap at him for things like that, causally saying that my family was helping. That didn't mean I couldn't tease him.

"I will withhold food. I can eat a lot, 'ttebane!" I threatened with a forced smile, thinking of the bento I had brought today. It was filled to the brim with my favorites, and maybe a few of his. He wasn't really a picky eater so it didn't matter much.

His eyes narrowed, used to the game I liked to play, "I'll starve then."

"Minarin!" I complained, eyes wide as I glanced in worry at Minato.

"It's fine, Kushina," Minato smiled, wiping a fake tear away dramatically in the way I'd taught him, "I know how you feel about me."

"No!" I cried out, before bringing him close into my side, "I have changed my mind! You are my only friend, I can't betray you like that."

"Yeah, yeah," Minato patted my back before pulling away, "So, do you really want to know?"

I released my hold on Minato before considering what he was asking. A moment passed of silence before I ended up breathing out a chuckle, holding my hands out helplessly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Minato snorted, smiling slightly before he kindly said, "The genin exams. I _am_ taking them this year and not really because I want to. I thought originally that I would wait till I was older to be honest but my dad told me to do it earlier so that I could help in the war."

"Mito is pretty upset that I'm taking the exams," I noted absentmindedly, "she thinks that I'll be killed."

"Death is always imminent," Minato noted and I nodded, wondering if it was possible for him to die early now that I was evading the plot from the vague memories.

I blinked.

"Minarin, 'ttebane!" I couldn't help but punching his arm when I thought about it, suddenly feeling nervous, "Maybe we should wait?"

"Why should we?" he asked, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

I didn't want to tell him that it was because I was afraid he would die because despite everything, the thought of him disappearing…it kept me up at night sometimes to think about anyone disappearing. Especially Nawaki now that he was twelve and running around with Tsunade's necklace.

Instead I coughed out, "I mean…war is scary enough, so why are we rushing it?"

"Kushina-san?" he asked, brows creasing as he looked at me, "Why are you trying so hard to keep me from graduating now?"

I sighed, shaking my head, "Never mind. It's a fool's concern, Minato-kun."

"If you say so," he mumbled, looking away with a sigh of his own.

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me**

* * *

"Nawaki!" I yelled out, "Wait! Come back!"

"Catch me!" he yelled back with laughter in his voice, "You can't stop me going to my missions, Kushina! Not again!"

"No, _stop!_ Please, Nawaki!" I cried out, almost desperately, racing as quickly as I could in the midst of my hopping across the rooftops of Konoha. Grunting out an oath, I did my best to reach out with my chains. Straining to get them to let them reach out long enough to wrap around his ankle. Like a bag of rice, Nawaki sucked in an audible breath before taking a dive into one of the alleyways, landing on his face on the gravel below.

I hissed out in sympathy before I followed after him, hoping down with a hand going to my hip, "Nawaki! I was telling you to come back! Look, you've forgotten the lunch that Grandma made!" With extra emphasis, I held up the packed away bento with my other hand.

He sat up groaning, blood dribbling from his nose and over his lips, as he smeared it with his bands before frowning up at me, "Why the chains though? I didn't expect _that_ from you!"

"I keep telling you to be more on your guard," I stubbornly said before kneeling beside him to help clean up the gash that spread across his nose. I cringed, making a sharp grimace before softly saying, "I think it might be broken."

"Yeah," he agreed with a sigh, holding out his hand before I helped him up to stand, "you're relentless, Kushina. You could at least have been a bit more careful with those chains of yours."

I smacked my hand against his clothes, clearing the dust off of him as I made my way around his body. Then, with a bright smile, I said, "Let's go to the hospital to get that fixed up!"

"I'll be late for my mission," he whined, frowning as he tenderly touched at his nose.

"So? People are late all the time, and," I began to add before jabbing a finger at his face, "you'd never get away with that sort of face! The client would be more afraid _with_ you. Is that what you want? For the reputation of Konoha to go down with them doubting the abilities of our younger generation?"

"Kushina," he whined, eyes on mine, "this is _your_ fault if I get reprimanded."

 _It might save your life,_ I thought to myself as I ushered him out of the alleyway and into the bustling streets. Then, I casually jumped up onto the roof of the store to our right, making way for the hospital as I dragged him closely behind me.

"Sis is gonna be so upset," Nawaki mumbled underneath his breath before pull his sleeves away from me, "I'm already late to the practices as it is and now this? Plus, she's gonna get mad at you for holding me up."

"Yeah, yeah," I responded, looking back at him with a smile, "but she doesn't have to know. There are a lot more iryo-nin than her and I'm pretty sure she's too busy to even stop by and _fix_ a broken nose. We'll be in and out, promise."

"True," he admitted, "but I'm still going to tell on you."

"What?" I asked, alarmed, "Why?"

"Because you do it every day! Making me late to everything!" Nawaki whined, well within reason to, as he kept pace with my steps. "It was cute at first but now it's just insulting."

"I only do it 'cause I care!" I responded, frowning, "you're so forgetful with your tools and food! And besides, if you let a nine-year-old do this, what does this say about you and your ability to evade things? Like, I don't know, _bombs?_ " Hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Nawaki scoffed, rolling his eyes when I spared a second to look at him, "Kushina, I'm not going to actively evade _you_. You're not a bomb, either, just a little bit more annoying than one."

"Yeah, well I may be a pain but at least," I sucked in a breath, frowning, "at least it'll keep you safer."

"I can take care of myself, Kushina," he mumbled out softly, barely heard above the clacking of our footsteps across the roof tile, "and besides, I'm gonna be the next Hokage!"

"Nuh-huh!" I playfully cried out before jetting forward with a sudden burst of speed, "That's gonna be _my_ job!"

"You're too crazy!" he shouted towards my back as he kept pace closely behind me.

Then, with a sharp turn and a hop off the roof, we were there. In front of the bloodiest places inside the village. After all, the only people popping up there were either civilians ushered to the furthest parts of the building, or they were shinobi on the verge of death, missing limbs and everything.

As we entered, the stench of blood seemed to cling to the walls amongst the smells of cheap scent packets that were easily overpowered. The flowers that decorated the oak tables all seemed to be out of place and especially vibrant in the drab, dreary place that the hospital was.

Often times, Tsunade came over to the house looking like _she_ was the one near death, clothes sometimes stained in blood but mostly her skin pale and gaunt. Every time, I was always aware that it was chakra exhaustion that was getting to her body most, but I also couldn't shake away the fact that it was because of the people she must have lost as she operated on them.

There was often little I could do myself, and I was far too busy with my studies in fuinjutsu to even _think_ of picking up iryo-ninjutsu. A small part of me just knew I didn't have the guts for it even if I _did_ have the time. It would have even been the best sort of choice for me, I think, if I abandoned my family's craft. If I kept it up I would simply be subjected to the same reality that Mito currently found herself in, having been demanded to meet a quota.

It was the sort of thing that made me think Hiruzen didn't care about the Uzumaki or even Mito—otherwise he would have done _something_ , right? He would have kept Mito safe and would have…protected all of Uzushio if he actually cared.

Okay, no.

It's not fair to put that sort of pressure on a single man who literally had thousands of shinobi against him. Such was the way when, somehow and beyond all that seemed right, four of the five hidden villages agreed on something before then promptly deciding to act upon it.

Alliances be damned, Konoha would have been at stake too if it hadn't been for him agreeing to the terms that currently held over the Uzumaki.

With those kind of thoughts plaguing my mind, I sighed out as the both of us walked up to the nurse's station, noting the way the man looked up at us. He looked as if he had just pulled three all-nighters all in quick succession, deep bags seemingly ingrained in his face. He stared up at us with a dead gaze.

"Oh, Nawaki-kun?" he drawled out, eyes fixated on the boy to my left, "What a bad scratch on your face, did you want that taken care of by your sister?"

"Only if she isn't busy," he declared, sounding braver than I ever could be, puffing out his chest even knowing what it would mean if his sister actually _did_ come to help him. I snickered beside him, not doubting for a second that Tsunade wouldn't come. She was _far_ too busy these days to spare the time of day fixing a broken nose.

"You're in luck," the nurse drawled out, voice heavy with the desire to sleep, "she's actually in her office eating lunch."

We both paled, turning to look at each other. I gave the slightest shake of my head, wondering what sort of idiot actually _requested_ that sort of stuff. Nawaki shrugged in response, before a thin smile grew on his face.

"Great!" he said, regaining his color back quicker than I expected.

Brows furrowing, I didn't even have time to question his motives before I found him pulling me away from the nurse's station and down the hall that smelled even more so of the metallic blood that seemed to seep through every nook and cranny of the building.

"Sis says it smells so much because it wards off people who don't have to be here and would just waste their time," Nawaki commented at the sight of my wrinkled nose.

"Does that mean I can leave?" I asked in a whisper, fearing the moment Tsunade got her sight on me or even picked up my voice through the echoing halls.

"Nope," Nawaki declared, bringing his hand to clasp tightly over mine, "because you need to learn a lesson."

"A lesson?" I echoed, looking at him from the corner of my eye, "Look, Nawaki, I'm just looking out for you. I mean, you should really improve on those evasion skills of yours," I said before snickering to myself, "So I guess that's _your_ lesson, my humble student."

"Kushina," he whined, "I already told you that I won't avoid you!"

"Won't?" I asked, "Or can't?"

He rolled his eyes, shaking his before taking a sharp left and dragging me in behind him.

I yelped, blinking rapidly before I found myself inside a room that distinctly smelt more of fresh flowers, anesthesia, and just a touch of udon noodles. There, amidst piles of paperwork, with slumping shoulders and a bowl of what I had smelt, Tsunade slurped up a bite of noodles before looking up with a grimace.

"Really?" she asked in a rough voice, before tossing up her hands, "I just got to my lunchbreak, Nawaki!"

"Kushina tripped me when I was on a roof and I fell!" Nawaki desperately explained, jabbing a finger in my direction.

"He forgot his lunch!" I cried in my defense as I watched her bring a hand to her forehead, eyes closing in what looked like her reaction to a brewing headache.

"She's been doing this everyday though," Nawaki went on, "she follows me and then I'm late to all of my missions thanks to her!"

"I wouldn't do it if you were just a little bit better at evading me!" I stubbornly said. Although, knowing myself, I would just settle with getting better at tracking him down.

Tsunade waved her hands in the air, "Okay, okay, stop. We'll talk about this later. For now, Nawaki, come here."

He did as she said, making his way over to sit on the stool she pulled out into the open. Gazing up at his sister, I almost felt like I should have left but instead watched in awe as she causally assessed his wounds. Then, with a hiss leaving her lips, she took his necklace into her hands.

"You got blood all over it!" Tsunade groaned out, lifting it up into the light with a grimace before pulling it completely off of him and walking over to the sink to let water run over it. Casually, and without much thought, Tsunade left it hanging off of the counter, swinging like a pendulum.

I stared at it.

In the background I heard their conversation mute to only the lowest of sounds, my entire attention being caught by the relaxed swing of the necklace. Soon, I heard nothing but the speed of my racing heart as everything else blurred. Nothing else was as important as this.

I didn't even _know_ it was his birthday but it must have been today, because I had never seen it with anybody else but Tsunade So…I blinked, swallowing as my eyes flitted from them and back to the jewel, shinning in the sunlight that poured in from the blinds.

Slowly, I inched my way over, feigning interest in her work as I shifted my gaze towards Nawaki. When he glanced over at me, I smiled as calmly as I could, watching Tsunade simply crack his nose back into place. At the cue of the loud _crunch_ , I swiftly swept it into my hands before I simultaneously cried out, "Man, it really was broken!"

Nawaki groaned before sending a glare over, "Yeah, it _was_. I should break _your_ nose; see how _you_ like it."

"Just get to your mission Nawaki," Tsunade said in pure exasperation before pointing towards me, "and stop following him around! You have your studies with Grandma to focus on."

I forced a roll of my eye as I stuffed my hands into my pockets, "Yeah, I guess so…well, then bye!"

Without another word, I quickly fled the scene of the crime, barely withholding my body's urge to shake as I found myself running the entire way home.

 _Please_ , I had to think, praying to whoever would listen, _let him live._

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me**

* * *

"I have a seal to show you," I announced, sliding the page open to the newest seal I had learned. It was selfish of me, but he would learn it soon anyway. The Contract Seal, something Minato had actually used to wrest Kurama out of the control of Tobi. Although, it didn't give him control over the kyuubi, it had helped in the end. I still had no clear idea on what I was doing but preparing him for That Day early could possibly be a smart move although I couldn't help but doubt it. Better safe than sorry.

"Ah, what is it?" Minato gazed at it curiously and I explained as quickly as I could, before going through the steps of drawing the seal.

"You know, once I get it down myself, I'll teach you how to draw seals with your chakra," I told him as soon as he began recreating the seal.

"That's possible?"

I shrugged, "It's just like for ninjutsu," which I really need to learn more of, "when you can perform handless jutsu. All you need to do is have a piece of paper and bam! It's drawn and you didn't even have to plan for it!" Although, if I dabbled in flesh seals, it wouldn't even involve the paper. My throat grew tight at the thought, reminding me of my mother's order to never learn them. It happened too often these days, recalling her words and how very far away she was.

"That sounds very useful for a battle," Minato smiled, his blue eyes shining.

I nodded, returning the grin, "I've watched Grandma do it plenty of times and it's still really cool!"

Even with her aging as she was, her body deteriorating, she was still an Uzumaki and her life line was still holding on. Although, she had been sleeping a lot more lately, forcing me to either learn on my own (which I was fully capable of doing, I just liked having her around), or I would have to settle for learning whatever the class was being taught.

What I really wanted to learn, however, was the technique both Mito and Tsunade used. The Strength of a Hundred Seal would pretty much guarantee my survival during That Day if only I could use Creation Rebirth. I was still too afraid to ask and my window of opportunity was leaving. Nawaki had been going on an awful lot of missions and no matter how much I tried to interfere, nothing seemed to work. Instead, my latest ploy in stealing the necklace, had yet to bear any fruit.

He was still gone, and most likely wouldn't be due back for another day or so.

It was almost maddening, knowing that it could still happen even after I'd done everything short of following him out into the harsh world and physically protecting him any time the sign of a bomb appeared. Still, he could be dying as I sat here, casually showing off a seal and could never know if my actions had changed anything.

What could taking his necklace do? Perhaps nothing at all but at the very least…Tsunade couldn't blame herself for it… I hoped not, at least.

Minato poked my cheek and I jumped, having realized I had been lost in thought before swallowing and meeting his gaze.

"What's wrong?" He was asking and I shook my head.

"Everything's fine, I'm just worried about the exams," I easily lied, waving my hand in the air as if to emphasize my point. He looked as if he didn't believe me, but, thankfully, he let it slide.

"You'll do well, Kushina-san, very well," he said, as if very sure of the fact.

I nodded absently, "That doesn't actually ensure my passing. They could well...things are complicated..."

For all I knew, my family's situation could very well cross over into mine. Would they make it so that I can't become a kunoichi? No...that couldn't be it. I shouldn't be so worried. After all, Grandma Mito had already told me that the Hokage would be on my side.

"I don't think you have anything to be worried about, Kushina-san," Minato said with a small grin, "After all, you've been training with Mito-sama, and she's one of the best fuinjutsu masters out there."

I nodded, smiling softly, "That's true. I can't be the one to let her down either."

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me**

* * *

Nawaki had been laughing with his pals before it happened.

They had been keeping their quiet the entire time they stuck to the forest, but before long, they could all sense the itch to say _something_ , anything. It usually came after hours of unending silence, save for the swaying of the trees and the infrequent wildlife.

Whole parts of the woods had most likely seen better days, having been charred by burnt out fires and torn by the winds that ravaged the Land of Fire. In entire pieces the branches had been knocked off, after all, hanging by bits or not at all, on the ground collecting dirt.

Since long ago they had learned to keep quiet in the woods, they had learned it the hard way.

Back in the past, Shuunei had nearly lost an arm after having started a conversation with Nawaki. They'd been so wrapped up in what they were talking about, they had never been the wiser that they were being tailed. It had been their sensei who saved them then, before they could be ambushed and killed. Instead, it made them all the more aware that when it was war time, they didn't have any time to spare in laughing and talking about senseless things.

Rookie mistakes that they never made again, even on that day.

Instead, his team waited for until they came to the place where the woods ended and opened up into a rocky land. Around it lay scattered and broken trees, completely dried out by whatever had gone off in that place. Nawaki couldn't help but shake his head in exasperation.

His father once told him that it was the worst thing for a healthy ecosystem when a shinobi begins to wage war.

He'd seen a lot of examples but nothing quite as devastating as this.

"Did you get anything cool for your birthday?" Shuunei asked as they surveyed the area.

"Yeah," Nawaki answered with a smile on his face, reaching into his vest to pull out his grandfather's necklace. But it wasn't there. His eyes widened as he smacked his hands over his pocket and he checked his pouches. Nothing even remotely like the blue jewel that he had come to take as a comfort, having slept with it the entire time last night clutched into his hands.

"It should be clear," Yuudai, his other genin teammate said with a grin, "considering what blew this place up. Any mines should have gone off with it."

"We should probably wait for Sensei," Shuunei noted before absentmindedly taking a step forward.

Nawaki shrugged absentmindedly as he thought back to where he'd left it last. He couldn't even seem to call up a faint memory before he turned his back. Behind him, there was a crunch of footsteps and then, as sudden as anything could ever be, Nawaki found himself being flung forward. His ears rang violently with a high pitched noise, unable to hear anything else.

He landed face first into a tree, crashing into it with a face hit to his nose as he groaned. Attempting to catch his baring, Nawaki felt himself huff out a groan before struggling to blink past the pain and turn over onto his side.

In just the quick second it took to still his spinning vision, Nawaki sorely wished he hadn't looked.

Because all he could think in his head at the sight of blood and bits clinging to everything in his sight was that…

It could have been him.

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me**

* * *

"He'll be coming back from his mission today," Tsunade said to me as soon as I exited the bath, rubbing at my hair with a towel.

"Oh?" I mumbled, trying not to show how that peaked my interest. Still, I couldn't help but quicken my pace, roughly drying my waist length hair before brashly pulling on my clothes and reaching for the hairbrush. Tsunade stared at me from her place, leaning against the wall with a bemused smile.

"You really do like him, don't you?" she asked, eyes trained on me as I quickly brushed through my hair.

"Uhhh," I sighed out, shaking my head before placing a hand to my hip, "I don't _like_ him. Not in the way you and Grandma seem to think. Rather, I want to..." I trailed off, suddenly not quite too sure what to say. I knew what I was doing; protecting him in any measly way I could. But she didn't know _why_ and I couldn't tell her. So instead, I smiled and simply said, "he was my first friend here and I want to protect him."

"Really though, did you _have_ to do it by breaking his nose?" Tsunade asked with humor glinting in her eyes.

I flushed before defensively saying, "He should work on avoiding me if he doesn't like my methods."

At that, she snorted before rolling her eyes and dipping out of the room without another word.

Groaning, I rushed through brushing my hair and swept it up into a sloppy bun before following after her, running to the only place she ever went to when she was visiting.

"Do you want me to make lunch now?" I asked, glad that I didn't have school on Saturdays, as I entered the kitchen, watching her pick at the left out mochi.

"I'm feeling noodles," she said, nibbling on a piece of mochi as I reached into the cupboard's for the wok before bringing it out and putting it on the stove. Carefully gathering the ingredients, I set them all up on the counter before turning to look at Tsunade.

"Do you think he'll be home soon? Should I make some for him too?"

"Go ahead, I'll eat it myself if he doesn't show up," she said with a grin and I nodded, getting enough udon noodles for three. Mito wouldn't be getting home until later, having told me earlier that she was spending the afternoon with Hiruzen. I hadn't thought much of it, she was rather busy for an older woman.

Just as I got to stirring the noodles in the wok, footsteps began to echo in the hall outside the kitchen before the sounds of a bag dropping began to ring in my ears. I turned to look over and immediately turned down the heat and set my chopsticks aside before racing into Nawaki's arms.

I was always so excited when I got to see him after a mission, usually living in a mixture of anxiety and boredom. Usually, he was all smiles after a mission. Nothing was wrong and yet...he felt off today.

I pulled away when he didn't hug me back and met his eyes, noticing how dark they looked. Softly, I whispered, "Welcome home, Nawaki."

He nodded slowly, lifting up his hand to pat at my hair before shaking me off and moving over to where Tsunade stood, watching him with weary eyes.

"I...," his voice cracked as he began to speak, and I could only liken it to the breaking of a dam before he released a soft sob that grew in time. His sister's brows creased before she took a step forward, resting her hand on his head as she wiped at his tears.

"Go on," she said softly and I had to look away, feeling like an intruder in that moment.

I very nearly decided to walk out, to let them share each other without any interruptions. Yet before I could turn off the stove and walk out, I heard his voice, shaking through the tears.

"I…I-I lost it," he said and I felt my blood run cold.

My heart began to race as my hearing focused in on what he was saying, too afraid yet too stuck to move away. I tried to disappear, feeling my stomach flop as I attempted to swallow my fear. My fingers began to feel distinctly _hot_ , the longer I thought about it.

"You lost what?" Tsunade asked, merely trying to understand her brother as he sobbed into her white blouse.

"The necklace," he bawled, pulling back to wipe at his eyes, "and then—and then, my friend Shuunei…"

Nawaki trailed off, and I felt myself fighting off my body's instinct to shake, feeling my entire face grow cold while my hands remained hot and sweaty. I tried swallowing again, to fight against it but instead, it got caught in my throat and I could only stare are Nawaki in horror.

And, sickly, a sense of _relief_.

Because he was safe, Nawaki was alive. I had _done_ something.

For once, I had kept someone safe…even if someone else had to die. I felt a sense of disgust with myself at that thought but it was overpowered by the overarching realization that I had _actual power_. I had changed something. I had _done_ something and it changed things.

Nawaki sobbed even louder in front of me, piercing into my ears as I blinked uncontrollably.

The taste in my mouth had gone sour, just seeing him in such distress and in the end, sucking a breath, I turned on my footsteps and ran out of the room.

I couldn't breathe. I just _couldn't_ breathe.

I struggled to let air come into my lungs, desperately running all the way into my room before slamming the door shut. I collapsed on my bed, fists coming to clutch at the blankets on my futon as I let out a choking sob. Wondering why everything seemed to be closing in on me, I blinked as hard as I could, coming to rest a hand on my throat as I leaned into my futon.

" _Please_ ," I choked out, feeling my vision narrow as a darkness crept in, "please, I can't do it!"

Because, more than anything, more than Nawaki actually dying, more than thinking that I would live life directed by fate…instead, I had been far more fearful of if I could _actually_ change things. It meant that everything, _everything_ that had possibly changed—my clan's imprisonment, that other boy dying—had been my fault.

 _I_ had caused that.

And this wasn't a dream where I could get away with everything I wanted. Instead…I had to grow up.

I had to grow up completely and accept responsibility, to accept the consequences of my careless actions.

It was all on _me_ and no one would be able to know.

" _I can't do it_ ," I squeezed out through my throat, as guttural as it sounded, tears spilling from my eyes even as they closed tightly, "I can't do this on my own!"

Yet I would have to.

Because I was alone in this.

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me**

* * *

"Kushina?" Nawaki called into my room after hours had gone by, "Kushina, I'm sorry but can we talk?"

Numbly, I stood up from my futon, rubbing at my eyes as I tried for my best 'I-had-only-been-asleep' act. Walking to the door, I slid it open and met his gaze. His eyes looked dry and possibly as red as my hair before he gestured for himself to come in.

I moved aside and the both of us came to sit on my futon, simply staring at each other before he opened his mouth and sighed.

"This might be weird to ask you about but do you remember the necklace at the hospital?"

I swallowed but was more surprised at the sense of calm that filled me before I nodded, "Yes…I remember."

"Well, it's really important to me but…I lost it at the hospital, or at least I think I did. Sis said that was when she saw it last and I remember her washing it off at the sink," Nawaki explained, rubbing at his arms, "but I was in too much of a rush afterwards that I didn't think of it…until later."

Wordlessly, I stood up and moved towards where I kept my scrolls before kneeling down deeper into closet. I found the necklace almost instantly, taking it into my palms and cupping it closely there. Then, with a brave intake of air, I stood and walked back to him.

Slowly, my heart distinctly beginning to race in my chest, I revealed it within my hands, the blue glinting by candle light alone as I heard his gasp ring in my head.

It was in a blur and with a sharp, ruthless sting to my cheek that I heard my own sudden intake of air. I fell back, stunned, my jaw clamping just as it began to pound with the pain. Unsure of what just happened, I turned my head to blink up at him before I looked to his reddening hand. Moving my gaze back to him, I saw his eyes fill up with tears before they began to drip, moving down his cheeks in a stream.

"I…I lost a friend today, Kushina," he said softly, bringing his hands to pull harshly at my robes, pulling me back up to meet his gaze full on. His hands shook in their hold, his entire body following soon after. Along with it, I found myself being jerked around helplessly as he clenched tighter in his hold.

I couldn't make a sound, too afraid that if I did he would…

Before I could even register it, he shoved me away and I fell back onto my futon, gasping for air as I scrambled away from him.

He looked at me then, gaze so sharp that I instinctively moved to hold up my arms, too afraid that he would get closer. I was far too surprised to think straight, too afraid of him in that moment that I soon ended up closing my eyes shut tightly and moving back farther away from him. I held my breath, heart pounding to the point that I thought I would throw up.

Then, I heard him move and could bear it no longer.

He stood to his full height, leaned over to pick up his necklace, and then walked out of the room.

My breath came out in a gust and before long I found myself crying all over again.

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me**

* * *

"Grandma, I'm home!" I called into house, hyper aware of the silence as I crept toward her bedroom. "Grandma...?" I opened her door, to see her sleeping form, her chest rising and deflating in an even rhythm. I breathed a sigh of relief as I closed her door.

Every time it was quiet like this, it made me paranoid.

The Senju Clan wasn't that large anyway, at least compared to the past. The members had been dwindling for some time, and because of that, there tended to be a lull of silence every now and then that just felt… _creepy_. Most of them were probably out at this time of day anyway, so I couldn't be sure why I even bothered getting worried anymore.

Sighing, I headed to my room, planning to work on my chakra control. I was still trying to figure out how I could keep my control the same even when I had the Kyuubi inside of me, curious if it would even change at all. Either way, I did know it would happen soon, no matter how I liked to avoid the truth. I was tempted to ask Mito, but I never really liked bringing up Kurama.

It was daunting to think that Mito wouldn't be in this world, to help me. I would instead be on my own, completely alone in the isolation that I noticed clung around Mito as she worked in silence.

I suppose it was time to grow up for a second time, a time for me to take responsibility once more and keep my head up high. Even if I just wished to stick with the pleasant days and completely avoid the bad ones, I knew that it was inevitable. Terrible things seemed to be unavoidable.

The world would continue to spin even if I lost my last link to Uzushio, even if I lost my only true friend here.

I shook my head of those depressing thoughts, instead taking in a gulp of air. It was the sort of thing I had begun to do, sucking in and just filling my cheeks with oxygen before blowing out. Then, I forced a grin.

I would make Mito proud soon, where ever she was.

With a goal in mind, I gathered my utensils and headed to the Senju training field that stood right to the side of the main house. It was pretty pointless to be outside if I was practicing my fuinjutsu, but sometimes it helped me clear my head and focus on my meditation. It got harder as time went on, for me to calm down these days.

So, determined to have a good time, I sat down and laid out my scrolls before laying on my back. I would get to actually making seals later, after I had brought my mind down and could finally locate every nook and cranny of my chakra reserves.

Mito said she never met Kurama before, but that she thought the way would have been through meditation, locating all of the vacuums before finding the right one. I wasn't so convinced that it would be so easy but mostly, I should just keep in mind that my seal was going to be very different than the one Naruto had placed on him. Considering the hundreds of options out there, I would be given one that Mito herself would decide on.

I didn't feel like asking her about it—I never liked talking to her about the whole jinchuuriki situation. It never failed to bring me into a bad mood.

At hearing the crunch of footsteps closing in, I sat up, fingers going to my weapon holster before meeting amber eyes. Easily, I stood up and walked over to her as she grinned at me.

"Thought I'd find you here," she said softly and I nodded, looking away. "I heard about the fight."

Her words were so simple and yet immediately I couldn't help but swallow reflexively, cringing against the memories that sprouted up at her words. My palms began to sweat and instantly, I took a step back, crossing my arms defensively.

"Thank you, Kushina," she whispered and I looked up, eyes wide.

"W-What for?" I stuttered out but what instead engulfed in a hug, my face being pressed into warmth, instinctively inhaling her scent as I relaxed into her hold. Unaware, tears began to dribble from my eyes, leaching into her clothes and down my chin as I felt my arms go around her waist.

"He told me that if weren't for him noticing it was missing that he would have walked into a bomb," she said softly, rubbing at my hair, "Kushina, I know you didn't know, but you've saved his life."

 _I did know_ , but it's something I can't say.

"But still," she went on, unaware of the thoughts running through my head, humor blossoming in her voice as she pulled me away to meet her gaze, "don't take things that aren't yours!"

"I know!" I blubbered out loudly, unable to see her through the tears but still so happy that she wasn't angry at me, "I know! I won't! I'm sorry!"

"Thank you," she repeated, louder than the last time, and when my eyes cleared up well enough to see, I saw that her own cheeks had been stained with the streak of tears. She laughed loudly, boisterously, "Now, Nawaki came over for dinner and he'd like to apologize for hitting you."

"Okay," I said with what was probably the ugliest smile I'd ever pulled.

It made me feel just a bit better. I would never be understood the way I wanted; they might never know why I did the things I did but…but at least I had them there. At least I had Tsunade, who would smile at me and laugh at my stupid jokes. At least Nawaki was alive, the older brother I had come to trust with my life. At least I had Mito, and what would soon become the memories of her. At least my family still stand then there was Minato, who I knew I could never be close with but still appreciated.

They might not stay forever, but at least I had the present.

* * *

**You Do Not Know Me – End**

* * *

 


End file.
